Author Topic: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise  (Read 2404 times)

Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #30 on: January 09, 2019, 03:37:37 PM »
What if it was 'Faster than Cannon and Ball'?

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #31 on: January 09, 2019, 03:50:10 PM »
[tag] Ironically, Alanis Morissette fails to enter thread [/tag]

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

  • He's the one with the flying feet
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #32 on: January 09, 2019, 04:49:24 PM »
"All we are saying is 'give peace a chance'."

And yet you're being so loud.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #33 on: January 09, 2019, 05:09:49 PM »
This Ole House is a song about fundamentally flawed premises. Obviously.

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #34 on: January 09, 2019, 05:11:49 PM »
Similarly, there is Oasis' Champagne Supernova featuring the line, "Slowly Walking Down the Hall, Faster than a cannonball."

Yes, it's nonsense, but it works perfectly well as a metaphor for being on the drugs.

Not that it matters. The rest of the song is guff anyway.

It's based on Bracket the Butler in Chigley...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Champagne_Supernova
Quote from: Noel Gallagher interview in the NME
One is about Bracket The Butler who used to be on Camberwick Green, or Chipley or Trumpton or something. He used to take about 20 minutes to go down the hall. And then I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with 'hall' apart from 'cannonball'. so I wrote 'Slowly walking down the hall/ Faster than a cannonball' and people were like, 'Wow, man'.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z2_t-iz5M0&t=4m34s

gib

  • weak and wobbly
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #35 on: January 09, 2019, 06:28:51 PM »
^
Quote
And then I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with 'hall' apart from 'cannonball'.

amazing the cunt ever got started on Wonderwall


Neomod

  • Oh my genitals | I'm a janitor
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #36 on: January 09, 2019, 06:56:19 PM »
I don't know why the Weather Girls are so happy. The only explanation for 'Raining Men' would be a natural disaster or terrorist atrocity.

Totally irresponsible to stand under that lot at any time of day let alone 10:30pm.

Pingers

  • With the ill behaviour
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #37 on: January 09, 2019, 08:47:23 PM »
'Revolution' by the Beatles. Starts well, sounds exciting for about 3 seconds then turns into plodding reactionary shite.

Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #38 on: January 10, 2019, 03:54:51 AM »
Lennon wasn't convinced by it either so sang "out...in" on the album version and in the Frost performance. The single doesn't convey that so is more simplistic.

'All You Need Is Love' is the most obvious example of Lennon bollocks. 'Love' is not much use against a tank or if you can't get a job because the economy is fucked.

'Please Please Me' seems to be about a guy who goes down on his girlfriend but she won't go down on him. Not something you would normally admit to in a pop song.

Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #39 on: January 10, 2019, 06:34:05 AM »
Lennon wasn't convinced by it either so sang "out...in" on the album version and in the Frost performance. The single doesn't convey that so is more simplistic.

'All You Need Is Love' is the most obvious example of Lennon bollocks. 'Love' is not much use against a tank or if you can't get a job because the economy is fucked.

'Please Please Me' seems to be about a guy who goes down on his girlfriend but she won't go down on him. Not something you would normally admit to in a pop song.


"Instant Karma's gonna get you" well it's not exactly instant if it's going to get someone is it John you miserable scouse twat?

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #40 on: January 10, 2019, 10:33:12 AM »
This depends on wether or not you think he did it, but in Richard Marx's Hazard, the line ''Until the night she went out walkin' all alone, and never came home'' is followed by him swearing he ''left her by the river...I left her safe and sound.'' So he must have been there in order to leave her, ergo she wasn't walkin' all alone, was she? And even if he meant she went walkin' all alone after he left her, that's not exactly leaving her safe and sound is it? That's leaving her on her own by the river, and at night as well. Unless in his twisted, Marxian (can't really use Marxist, can we) worldview 'safe and sound' means 'dead, so now safely away from this cruel world.' in which case he's basically admitting he's guilty, the Marykilling bastard.
And then he says he ''needs to make it to the river, and leave this old Nebraska town.'' Now if he means either by boat or by drowning himself, neither are exactly the actions of an innocent man, are they? Lectric chair for him methinks.

Twed

  • Take a Key for Coming in!
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #41 on: January 10, 2019, 10:36:51 AM »
Just noticed this is a thread with fundamentally flawed grammar in its title.


samadriel

  • I`m not a shining wit, I`m a whining shit
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #42 on: January 10, 2019, 11:04:53 AM »

"Instant Karma's gonna get you" well it's not exactly instant if it's going to get someone is it John you miserable scouse twat?

It's going to get them after they've done the thing which causes the karma.

MiddleRabbit

  • Whatever it is you're selling, I don't want it.
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #43 on: January 10, 2019, 11:39:43 AM »
"I Am The Walrus" by The Beatles.

Well, I think we can all see what the problem is here.

Lennon's referring to the poem in (extremely popular at the time due to the resurgence of Edwardiana that influenced English psychedelia, as opposed to the reaction to Vietnam that defined the American version of it - notable exception 'White Rabbit' by Jefferson Airplane which, to be fair, is both great and a relatively scary take on it) Lewis Carroll's  Alice books: The Walrus and The Carpenter.  The pair of them con a load of oysters into going for a pleasant walk along the beach that'll end in a picnic, which it does.  The issue being that that the picnic consists of the oysters.

The Walrus eats most of the oysters but feels terrible about what he's done.  The carpenter doesn't eat many and doesn't give a shit.  The question being, 'Who's worse?'

Initially, Lennon decided that the carpenter was the worst of the two - hence 'I am the walrus'.  Later, he changed his mind, and corrected himself in 'Glass Onion', where he sings, 'The Walrus was Paul', meaning, he, Lennon, was the carpenter. 

I am the carpenter wouldn't have worked so well for a psychedelic song, I suppose although 'If I were a carpenter' was a great song.

When I was in myearly twenties and struggling to come up with band names, 'The Carpenters' came to me - after the Tim Hardin song and I thought - brilliant.  Until I remembered that Karen and Richard wasted a great band name with lots of lovely connotations just because that was their family name.  I like The Carpenters a lot, but they should have been called something else.

Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #44 on: January 10, 2019, 12:24:35 PM »
Can't let the thread get to the second page without mentioning 'Jailbreak' by Thin Lizzy. No need to explain the problem lyric for the 30,000th time though I'm sure.

Not a problem if you remember Mr Lynott was living at the time in Islington, equidistant between Holloway and Pentonville prisons.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #45 on: January 10, 2019, 12:34:47 PM »
Cum on Feel the Noize makes a lot of assumptions about the listener's negative opinion and judgement of the song's protagonist, and then dismisses these objections with an exhortation to 'feel the noise'.

Well, I don't think you have an evil mind, or that your singing's out of time. Your jolly top hat and smiling demeanour suggests you have a thoroughly sunny disposition, while your long career as a musician and singer could hardly have happened if your singing was in any way deficient.

I'd prefer not to comment on the funniness (or otherwise) of your face or the dirtiness of your mind Mr Holder - we've never met. But if I may say, I think the word you're groping for in relation to 'noize' would be hear: Come on, HEAR the noise.

Maurice Yeatman

  • His Reverence won't like it
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #46 on: January 10, 2019, 12:46:09 PM »
I like The Carpenters a lot, but they should have been called something else.

They were.

     

👍

MiddleRabbit

  • Whatever it is you're selling, I don't want it.
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #47 on: January 10, 2019, 04:05:35 PM »
They were.

     

👍

Pfff. 

What about when people say, 'I love Carpenters'?

''Oh yeah, tables and cupboards are ace, aren't they?'

'No, Carpenters.'

'Yeah, woodworkers.'

Even if they weren't in a band, people's call them 'The' Carpenters, wouldn't they?

Just another egregious example of Mr and Mrs Carpenter's inadequate child raising skills if you ask me.  Drugs, eating disorders and now the inevitably confusing lack of a definitive article.  Where were Social Services, eh?

Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #48 on: January 10, 2019, 04:19:01 PM »
This Ole House is a song about fundamentally flawed premises. Obviously.

Hats off.

Phil_A

  • HE WAS AN ROBOT
    • Chasing The Bumblebee
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #49 on: January 10, 2019, 04:37:20 PM »
Stevie Wonder's shaky grasp of both cosmology and the topology of gas planets in his song Saturn is quite troubling, especially since he appears to be advocating emmigration to said celestial body as a means of escape from the problems of the everyday world.

Packing my bags-going away
To a place where the air is clean
On saturn
There's no sense to sit and watch the people die
We don't fight our wars the way you do
We put back all the things we use
On Saturn
There's no sense to keep on doing such crimes
There's no principles in what you say
No direction in the things you do
For your world is soon to come to a close
Through the ages all great men have taught
Truth and happiness just can't be bought or sold
Tell me why are you people so cold
I'm...
Going back to Saturn where the rings all glow
Rainbow, moonbeams and orange snow
On Saturn
People live to be two hundred and five
Going back to saturn where the people smile
Don't need cars cause we've learn to fly
On Saturn
Just to live to us is our natural high

Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #50 on: January 10, 2019, 05:39:10 PM »
I have never lived in a yellow submarine.

Never even seen one of the fuckers.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

  • He's the one with the flying feet
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #51 on: January 10, 2019, 05:56:04 PM »

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #52 on: January 10, 2019, 07:19:56 PM »
Your love is like a bad medicine. Bad medicine is what I need.

Are you sure about that Mr Bon Jovi?

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #53 on: January 11, 2019, 09:29:23 PM »
This is nicked from Facebook but; There's no way EVERYBODY was Kung Fu fighting.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

  • He's the one with the flying feet
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #54 on: January 14, 2019, 11:05:29 PM »
"Do I look alright?"

"Yes. You look wonderful tonight."

"Oh. I look wonderful tonight. So I look ugly the rest of the time?... Nothing's wrong. I'm going to my sister's."

non capisco

  • My valve is screaming for appeasement.
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #55 on: January 14, 2019, 11:38:26 PM »
This is nicked from Facebook but; There's no way EVERYBODY was Kung Fu fighting.

I like that he then reigns in the hyperbole with the line "I must admit it was a little bit frightening."

I used to assume "Do The Hustle" was a similar 70s martial arts cash in record called "Do The Hah-So" because that's what cartoon kung fu people tended to say and I thought the melody sounded vaguely Chinese. Alright, calm down, it was the 1980s and I was a child when I thought this. Drum me off your forum for cool woke people if you must.

Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #56 on: January 15, 2019, 01:37:32 AM »
Does this count? In the seminal horrorcore classic All Black by Big L he claims, and I quote:

"I'm not the type to take sluts out, I just fuck they guts out
Get my nuts out, then break the fuck out."

Aside from the obvious issue with his blatant misogyny, I've always wondered why he has sex with women, then gets his nuts out and then leaves. Seems an illogical order where he is left wandering around with his balls on display. Maybe that's why he got murdered.

Twed

  • Take a Key for Coming in!
Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #57 on: January 15, 2019, 01:40:41 AM »
"Getting your nuts out" means blowing your load. A nut is a load of cum.

Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #58 on: January 15, 2019, 02:13:59 AM »
"Getting your nuts out" means blowing your load. A nut is a load of cum.

I have consulted my guide to Ebonics and you are correct. My bad.

"Yo, pay attention
And listen real closely how I break this slang shit down
Check it, my weed smoke is my lye
A ki of coke is a pie
When I'm lifted, I'm high
With new clothes on, I'm fly
Cars is whips and sneakers is kicks
Money is chips, movies is flicks
Also, cribs is homes, jacks is pay phones
Cocaine is nose candy, cigarettes is bones
A radio is a box, a razor blade is a ox
Fat diamonds is rocks and jakes is cop
And if you got rubbed, you got stuck
You got shot, you got bucked
And if you got double-crossed, you got fucked
Your bankroll is your poke, a choke hold is a yoke
A kite is a note, a con is a okey doke
And if you got punched that mean you got snuffed
To clean is to buff, a bull scare is a strong bluff
I know you like the way I'm freakin' it
I talk with slang and I'ma never stop speakin' it
"Speak with criminal slang"
That's just the way that I talk, yo
"Vocabulary spills, I'm ill"
"Speak with criminal slang"
That's just the way that I talk, yo
"Vocabulary spills, I'm ill"
Yo, yo
A burglary is a jook, a woof's a crook
Mobb Deep already explained the meanin' of shook
If you caught a felony, you caught a F
If you got killed, you got left
If you got the dragon, you got bad breath
If you 730, that mean you crazy
Hit me on the hip means page me
Angel dust is sherm, if you got AIDS, you got the germ
If a chick gave you a disease, then you got burned
Max mean to relax, guns and pistols is gats
Condoms is hats, critters is cracks
The food you eat is your grub
A victim's a mark
A sweat box is a small club, your tick is your heart
Your apartment is your pad
Your old man is your dad
The studio is the lab and heated is mad
I know you like the way I'm freakin' it
I talk with slang and I'ma never stop speakin' it
"Speak with criminal slang"
That's just the way that I talk, yo
"Vocabulary spills, I'm ill"
"Speak with criminal slang"
That's just the way that I talk, yo
"Vocabulary spills, I'm ill"
The iron horse is the train and champaign is bubbly
A deuce is a honey that's ugly
If your girl is fine, she's a dime
A suit is a fine, jewelry is shine
If you in love, that mean you blind
Genuine is real, a face card is a hundred dollar bill
A very hard, long stare is a grill
If you sneakin' to go see a girl, that mean you creepin'
Smilin' is cheesin', bleedin' is leakin'
Beggin is bummin, if you nuttin you comin
Takin' orders is sunnin', an ounce of coke is a onion
A hotel's a telly, a cell phone's a celly
Jealous is jelly, your food box is your belly
To guerrilla mean to use physical force
You took a L, you took a loss
To show off mean floss, uh
I know you like the way I'm freakin' it
I talk with slang and I'ma never stop speakin' it
"Speak with criminal slang"
That's just the way that I talk, yo
"Vocabulary spills, I'm ill"
"Speak with criminal slang"
That's just the way that I talk, yo
"Vocabulary spills, I'm ill" "

Re: Songs with a fundamentally flawed premise
« Reply #59 on: January 15, 2019, 02:31:34 AM »
Thunder only happens when it's raining

Not here mate.