Author Topic: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS  (Read 594 times)

Blue Jam

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DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« on: January 10, 2019, 05:34:54 PM »
Hello Dutch people reading this, here is an important public service announcement:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46828770

Quote
"It is strictly ill-advised to lie down on a bomb. The best thing to do if you come across an explosive device is keep your distance and call the police."

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  • Golden Member
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Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2019, 05:47:57 PM »
Quote
Nearby residents were evacuated and the device proved harmless. The man was treated for symptoms of hypothermia.

Hypothermia doesn't cause people to lie on bombs does it?

Blue Jam

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Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2019, 05:52:56 PM »
Quote
The man came across an unexploded World War Two device while gardening in the town of Venlo on Wednesday.

When it started whistling he covered it with his body

I reckon the bomb wolf-whistled at him and he just took that as a come-on and decided to give the bomb a damn good rogering.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2019, 05:53:38 PM »
Political correctness gone mad! Lying on unexploded bombs never did me any harm! When I was a nipper me and my friends were forever having kips on dud Nazi bombs and we were only occasionally reduced to a spray of blood and gore.

Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2019, 05:57:35 PM »
Maybe they're very posessive. "It's mine!" they say.

Golden E. Pump

  • Basically Morris Day.
Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2019, 06:13:03 PM »
Don't bomb down on lies.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2019, 06:36:10 PM »
Unbelievable. Another reason we need to get out now.

Sherman Krank

  • One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Cunt
Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2019, 07:59:12 PM »
I reckon the bomb wolf-whistled at him and he just took that as a come-on and decided to give the bomb a damn good rogering.
I read somewhere it had taken to wearing a long blonde wig and a low cut top.
Apparently it was a real bombshell.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • ...to stab you with!
Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2019, 10:01:27 PM »
Hefner consider rewrite.

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Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2019, 10:02:25 PM »
How I learned to stop worrying and lie down on bombs.

touchingcloth

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Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2019, 10:12:44 PM »
I’m glad it didn’t explode. It would have made a mess, killed an unusual man, and we’d have never had found out that that man had lain down on a bomb for hours.

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Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2019, 10:15:43 PM »
I’m glad it didn’t explode. It would have made a mess, killed an unusual man, and we’d have never had found out that that man had lain down on a bomb for hours.

Somebody might have survived to tell the tale.

touchingcloth

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Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2019, 10:56:42 PM »
Things that made Barry Bomb Bed’s mates not want to hang round with him any more:

  • Pissed on the barbecue to prevent it from burning down the garden fence and “save water”. But before the sausages were served.
  • Recycling bog roll. As napkins.
  • Demolishing his house. So an earthquake couldn’t.

I don’t think anyone would have been around to tell the story.

Attila

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Re: DON'T LIE DOWN ON BOMBS
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2019, 12:59:17 PM »
Likewise, people are being asked not to drive while blindfolded.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-46846981