Author Topic: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind  (Read 1719 times)

biggytitbo

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Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« on: January 12, 2019, 12:09:42 AM »
Pure genius https://twitter.com/AndyHa_/status/1083832017979142144?s=19

A few of the highlights of the great man's performance:

Q: In what city is the Olympiastadion where the German national team played their international matches until 2001?
A: Athens

Q: What season does Keats describe as the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness?
A: Oliver Twist

Q: What city is the American television sitcom Cheers set in?
A: America

Blumf

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2019, 12:15:02 AM »
What was his specialist subject?

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2019, 12:17:31 AM »
Fucking hell, you don't have to repeat everything you see on Twitter.  Just retweet and move on.

touchingcloth

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2019, 12:23:18 AM »
It’s spelled “Monty Python’s Paneer”, and it’s a tour de force of sketch comedy.

Ham Bap

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2019, 12:24:54 AM »
What was his specialist subject?

Being shit at answering quiz questions.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2019, 12:30:28 AM »
Fucking hell, you don't have to repeat everything you see on Twitter.  Just retweet and move on.

C. J. Lewis

Harry Potter was my favourite answer.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2019, 12:33:09 AM »
Cheers being set in the American city of... err... America?

He can’t seriously have though that, so is he just taking the piss or what?

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2019, 12:33:53 AM »
Cheers being set in the American city of... err... America?

He can’t seriously have though that, so is he just taking the piss or what?

Mix of nerves and being a dumb fuck (at least in terms of broad stroke general knowledge). He's not taking the piss, please don't excuse dummies like this. They don't have the class to pull that off.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2019, 12:39:34 AM »
“What season... Oliver Twist” is inexcusable though. It doesn’t make sense.

I maintain he was taking the piss or thinking about off-speed googlies instead of concentrating on the task at hand.

Blumf

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2019, 12:40:18 AM »
Being shit at answering quiz questions.

That can't be right. Surely he'd have answered them all right if that was the case.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2019, 12:41:56 AM »
That can't be right. Surely he'd have answered them all right if that was the case.

Or would he ahhhhh...

touchingcloth

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #11 on: January 12, 2019, 01:07:14 AM »
That can't be right. Surely he'd have answered them all right if that was the case.

Only works for multiple choice.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2019, 01:08:38 AM »
“What season... Oliver Twist” is inexcusable though. It doesn’t make sense.

I maintain he was taking the piss or thinking about off-speed googlies instead of concentrating on the task at hand.

Can you not read expressions - no smirking, no swagger, no taking the piss. Just clueless, dead behind the eyes, "hero" sportsman,

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2019, 06:40:45 AM »
It’s spelled “Monty Python’s Paneer”, and it’s a tour de force of sketch comedy.

Beaten to the making a hilarious " John Cleese, Michael Palin, etc. consider show title rewrite " post :(

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2019, 03:29:15 PM »
Oh, did he film that before doing Question of Sport? Because he looked really angry whilst he was on that, which I could understand, but he wasn't actually on Phil Tufnell's team. Poor Matt Dawson, first Lyme's disease, then being forced to draw blood from that stone...yeesh.

Edit: I would love to see Monty on the new Question Time though.

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2019, 03:54:52 PM »
He's a cricketer, he never needed to have a good general knowledge.

I'd shit myself under the pressure of a quiz show like that with the audience, the lighting, the camera, the time limit.

You'd think he'd at least have gotten the Full Monty right though.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #16 on: January 12, 2019, 03:59:55 PM »
He's a cricketer, he never needed to have a good general knowledge.

I'd shit myself under the pressure of a quiz show like that with the audience, the lighting, the camera, the time limit.

You'd think he'd at least have gotten the Full Monty right though.

The BBC should stop dumbing down all their shows then. Fucking shambles.

biggytitbo

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #17 on: January 12, 2019, 04:04:23 PM »
You don't need to be a brainbox to know Oliver Twist isn't a season though do you?

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #18 on: January 12, 2019, 04:11:33 PM »
You don't need to be a brainbox to know Oliver Twist isn't a season though do you?

He wasn't focusing, nerves probably.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2019, 04:14:25 PM »
You don't need to be a brainbox to know Oliver Twist isn't a season though do you?

You’re better off saying “pass” so you don’t look a wally if that’s your idea of a guess.

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #20 on: January 12, 2019, 04:17:17 PM »
I once played cricket against a 12-year old Monty Panesar. We were bowled out for 29.

He never struck me as the sharpest tool, but he really cuts a sad figure these days. There was a televised pro-celebrity charity cricket match last summer and whilst everyone else involved was treating it as a bit of a laugh, he seemed genuinely distraught at being dismissed first ball (he always was a famously inept batsman). He has suffered greatly with mental health problems and tragically, recently wrote to all 18 counties asking them for a trial contract. None replied.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #21 on: January 12, 2019, 04:18:39 PM »
The Gazza of the cricket world?

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #22 on: January 12, 2019, 04:18:59 PM »
You don't need to be a brainbox to know Oliver Twist isn't a season though do you?

Must have misheard the question, it's the only explanation.

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #23 on: January 12, 2019, 04:20:45 PM »
The Gazza of the cricket world?

He's had problems with drink (though not to the same extent as Gazza), having been teetotal until his late twenties. Most notably this incident which was the first sign that something was badly wrong: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-23600037

LEGEND MONTY

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #24 on: January 12, 2019, 04:32:42 PM »
Must have misheard the question, it's the only explanation.

Maybe he heard 'season' and his mind went for the idea of a theatrical season.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #25 on: January 12, 2019, 05:13:37 PM »
He's had problems with drink (though not to the same extent as Gazza), having been teetotal until his late twenties. Most notably this incident which was the first sign that something was badly wrong: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-23600037

LEGEND MONTY

Well I hope all the goading doesn't send him in a tail spin of chicken dinners, fishing rods and tinnies.

mothman

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Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #26 on: January 12, 2019, 05:30:45 PM »
Don’t passes potentially count against you in the event of a tied (top) score? I always thought that were I on Mastemind, I’d just say anything that popped into my head if I couldn’t answer, to avoid saying “Pass.” However it sounds like he was in no danger of coming top...

Either that or his specialist subject was answering the question before last.

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #27 on: January 12, 2019, 06:54:29 PM »
I once played cricket against a 12-year old Monty Panesar. We were bowled out for 29.

He never struck me as the sharpest tool, but he really cuts a sad figure these days. There was a televised pro-celebrity charity cricket match last summer and whilst everyone else involved was treating it as a bit of a laugh, he seemed genuinely distraught at being dismissed first ball (he always was a famously inept batsman). He has suffered greatly with mental health problems and tragically, recently wrote to all 18 counties asking them for a trial contract. None replied.

He played for my local cricket club last summer (might still be there, don’t know how long the cricket season is), which is a bit of a fall from playing for England. Or is it, because the rumour was that he was on £500 a game and his accommodation and everything taken care of. Which isn’t bad going I suppose. Still, must be a bit of a comedown from touring the Caribbean to playing in the Liverpool cricket league. Lovely bloke though, apparently.

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #28 on: January 12, 2019, 08:13:17 PM »
Pissing on bouncers? Now that's ball tampering!

Cheers

Re: Monty Panesars magnificent appearance on Celebrity Mastermind
« Reply #29 on: January 12, 2019, 09:18:17 PM »
If you're that stupid you should avoid Mastermind.