Snooker 2019

[bgmnts]

Haha that's ace.

[The Boston Crab]

Genuine heartwarming laughter

[dr beat]

Is there a 'right' Barnsley?

[Flouncer]

He knew alright. He'd rather miss out on the raaaankin' points than go to that shithole.

[imitationleather]

Very good Games Workshop in the other Barnsley, I hear.

The plot thickens.

[Famous Mortimer]

ROBBO, YOU DRONGO:

https://www.bbc.com/sport/snooker/49944958

Wouldn't he have set his satnav for the address of his hotel / venue, rather than just the town? Plus, if he's been to Sheffield for the Worlds on multiple occasions, what with Barnsley being just down the road, he'd have realised he was going in the wrong direction fairly quickly, I'd have thought. Unless he's just a complete fuckwit about anything not related to snooker. Sounds like he woke up hung over and couldn't be bothered, so made up a terrible excuse.

[Blue Jam]

English Open now lads. Glad I paid that paltry £40 for a Eurosport subscription- unlike the BBC, with Peter Ebdon banging on about plant milk and AIDS banging on about himself, the Eurosport commentators know when to shut the fuck up.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

£40 for more silence. Modern world.

[Blue Jam]

Up now: Ronnie O'Sullivan vs world no. 105 Jamie O'Neill. A couple of mistakes from Ronnie and Jamie has taken the first frame with a century. This could get interesting...

[bgmnts]

Isn't Eurosport available with a skybox or a sky subscription?

I didn't even know they showed the snwcer on Eurosport. That intrigues me.

[Blue Jam]

Haven't got Sky and wouldn't want Sky.

Eurosport has all the snwcer.

[Blue Jam]

Ronnie still playing like he can't be arsed:

https://www.sportinglife.com/snooker/news/osullivan-bemoans-level-of-opponent/172793

On the bright side, Crawley doesn't smell of wee anymore.

[NJ Uncut]

Isn't Eurosport available with a skybox or a sky subscription?

I didn't even know they showed the snwcer on Eurosport. That intrigues me.

I get Eurosport for nowt with Virgin but it's only SD (yes, in this day and age)

Annoying, but comes in handy when you have to watch one of the uglier players or the game. Bingham can fuck off back to bed at the best of times, him in HD is harrowing

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Ronalad O'Sullivan on the whinge again I see. Having to.... Go Outside to another building to do an interview must be one of the most precious whinges I've ever seen. Then blaming his opponent for being too shit despite playing awfully.

[Blue Jam]

Kylo's playing gash.

Respotted black!

[Blue Jam]

Allen and Wattana just pissing about here. Fuck's sake lads.

[Blue Jam]

I get Eurosport for nowt with Virgin but it's only SD (yes, in this day and age)

Annoying, but comes in handy when you have to watch one of the uglier players or the game. Bingham can fuck off back to bed at the best of times, him in HD is harrowing

I see you've been playing Snooker 19. You have noticed that it's in HDR, yes? It is indeed harrowing, especially on a big telly with an Xbox One S- no-one needs to see John Higgins in that much detail.

I'm normally not a fan of cosmetic items in games, but there should at least have been an option to give your player a mask, a balaclava, a nice paper bag...

[Blue Jam]

Watching O'Sullivan being interviewed after Monday's match, he was asked about losing to Cahill and said he initially thought he had flu, but it was only five days later that he realised he'd had food poisoning when a mate who had been at the same meal phoned him to say he was feeling very ill and to ask if Ronnie was feeling alright... Yep, flu, food poisoning, easy mistake to make... Oh fuck off Ronnie, just admit you were lazy and outclassed for once.

Ronnie was just now being a lazy twat against luxuriantly mop-topped child Yuan Sijun and complaining that the extended spider was too wonky... put the normal spider on top on the extended rest in a petulant little protest and fucked up a pottable red, bwahahaha. Still won in the end but I hope this laziness leads to another humiliation before too long.

[bgmnts]

Ronnie O'Sullivan being a cunt? No way!

[Blue Jam]

The fucker just won't retire will he...

Watching Robbo vs stylish MF Marco Fu now. These regulation English Open shirts with no waistcoats and ties and iron-on patches are cramping MF's style. Even his watch is looking a bit on the small side.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Down the pub I checked in on the comings and goings of the English Open down at Crawley AIDS Dustmite Factory and I fucking love the fact that it's putting those precious water treading twats in the top 16 through their paces and bringing them down to the level everyone else performs in every week. The conditions should be considerably harsher if anything. Turn the heating off. Let mice in.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Stuart Bingham1 Jiahui Si4
Venue: Monster Energy Drink Diarrhoea Leisure Centre

Fucking result, fuck off

Quite a few Chinese guys knocking out the late 90s early 00s journeymen. Brilliant stuff.

[Blue Jam]

The conditions should be considerably harsher if anything. Turn the heating off. Let mice in.

MOAR WASPS

[Blue Jam]

Another O'Sullivan fixture against another relative nobody, another decider...

[Blue Jam]

AHAHAHAHAAAARRRGGGHHHH.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Tom Ford4Shaun Murphy3
Venue: K2 Leisure Centre

AIDS DOWN

[Flouncer]

Down the pub I checked in on the comings and goings of the English Open down at Crawley AIDS Dustmite Factory and I fucking love the fact that it's putting those precious water treading twats in the top 16 through their paces and bringing them down to the level everyone else performs in every week. The conditions should be considerably harsher if anything. Turn the heating off. Let mice in.

I can see Ronnie's point really; it was a much nicer tournament when it was held down the old Limpopo Fart Barn. It was a sad day when they knocked that place down. Totally unfathomable council planning decision, that - I mean there are plenty of other places you could dig a cholera pit.

[Flouncer]

Anybody watching Champion of Champions? Jimmy White is 3-0 up against O'Sullivan; he only wants one more frame!

[Blue Jam]

Not on Eurosport it seems- Ooooh where's it on please?

Ronnie also lost the Dominic Dale in the qualifiers of the World Open:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/snooker/50212601

He just can't be arsed anymore can he?

[bgmnts]

ITV4 I think.