Snooker 2019

[Flouncer]

The plucky Chinaman is putting on some display this afternoon.

[Flouncer]

Fuck's sake, they haven't finished off the second frame on the other table. Ding and O'Sullivan on frame six now!

[pigamus]

Shame it was over so quickly - could have watched a lot more of that.

[Flouncer]

It is a shame they don't extend the format a bit for the UK in the later stages at least, with it being such a prestigious tournament... Best of 11 doesn't really do some of these matches justice.

[druss]

Get in the Ding.

[Flouncer]

Legend Gary leading 3-2 now. Not sure why he's stapled a dead rat to the back of his head though.

[Flouncer]

Great break of 85 by Nigel Bond to secure the ninth frame, reducing his deficit to 5-4. Before this his highest break was 22 - he was doing pretty well to be still in the match at 5-3 down.

[DocDaneeka]

Legend Gary leading 3-2 now. Not sure why he's stapled a dead rat to the back of his head though.

It's a beauty. I thought he had gone for a tiny skull ponytail but it's a weird tiny mo-hawk that he seemingly goes to the trouble of gelling.

[Flouncer]

Haha! He's playing on from 76-0 with two reds on the table in the decider!

Edit, jacked it in now. Bond victorious.

It's a beauty. I thought he had gone for a tiny skull ponytail but it's a weird tiny mo-hawk that he seemingly goes to the trouble of gelling.

It's the most extraordinary gesture of defiance in the face of baldness I've ever seen.

[Blue Jam]

Went for a werk do before, a nice pub lunch to celebrate winning a big research grant. Was free and very nice but I kind of wish I'd sacked it off to watch CaB's sweetheart and his sweet, sweet victory over WHUURRRGHH GWAARN RONNIE.

Was Ronnie hugging and kissing him and generally freaking him out?

[BlodwynPig]

Wish the bbc did live text for every match

[Blue Jam]

Love these outdoor shots of the York Barbican. Pure desolation.

[kidney]

Might have a sleep and watch the conclusion of this Selby - Stevens match in the morning, they'll still be playing

[Lost Oliver]

He's doing it!

[Flouncer]

The most exciting part of this match is watching the spectators trying to stop themselves nodding out.

[Lost Oliver]

Oh fuck.

[Flouncer]

Ah, I'm pleased for Matthew. He put in some great long pots during that match and kept it together during a few crucial breaks. Fair play to him.

[Blue Jam]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/snooker/50664049

Partridge

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Maguire, Stevens...when will these turds finally depart.

Come on China, you're better than this.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

In 20 years I will be saying the same about the then total surface devastation bald Trump who will have devolved to a doughy slob. Facing a 64 year old Ronnie Sullivan, fresh from defeating a coked up geriatric Jimmy White at Q Skool™

[Lost Oliver]

Maguire, Stevens...when will these turds finally depart.

Come on China, you're better than this.

They're still clogging up the u-bend. Their stain will be around for a while longer. Unless someone puts some coca cola down there and has access to a scrubber.

[Flouncer]

Stuart Bingham is like a stinking torrent of black, cloying Guinness-induced diarrhoea that adheres to the lavatory bowl, left unflushed to stink and fester for hours in a desolate Wetherspoons cubicle; the sort of unholy, acrid stench that violently fills your nostrils as soon as you open the door, affronting you with its sheer, unbridled offensiveness. All you can do is exclaim, "FUCKING HELL," beat a hasty retreat, and leave the whole disaster area for some poor, unsuspecting subsequent lavatarian to be confronted by.

[Blue Jam]

C'mon, The Young Chinese Players™! Dennis Taylor must be loving this.

[dr beat]

Yan Bingtao wins!

[Blue Jam]

Nigel Bond has just come back against Shaun Ryder-faced nipper Mark Allen and taken it to a decider. What the hell is he on- cod liver oil? Statins?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Regarding the table, Allen said: "It is probably the worst I have played on as a professional. There have been complaints from pretty much every player and it is simply not good enough for the second biggest tournament in the calendar.

Fucking whining fucking tart, fuck off

Just picture him losing to a randomer in a pub game of pool. 'The table was a disgrace, never seen anything like it'. Well fucking shove it up your fucking slot you cunt.

[Lost Oliver]

Stuart Bingham is like a stinking torrent of black, cloying Guinness-induced diarrhoea that adheres to the lavatory bowl, left unflushed to stink and fester for hours in a desolate Wetherspoons cubicle; the sort of unholy, acrid stench that violently fills your nostrils as soon as you open the door, affronting you with its sheer, unbridled offensiveness. All you can do is exclaim, "FUCKING HELL," beat a hasty retreat, and leave the whole disaster area for some poor, unsuspecting subsequent lavatarian to be confronted by.

You've absolutely nailed him there. I can see him in there, refreshing flash scores on his phone mid shit.

[Lost Oliver]

Fucking whining fucking tart, fuck off

Just picture him losing to a randomer in a pub game of pool. 'The table was a disgrace, never seen anything like it'. Well fucking shove it up your fucking slot you cunt.

To be fair to the guy he does have two first names. It must be confusing.

[poo]

Missing all this fun because actual work.

[jobotic]

I said yesterday "I'd like to spend all day lying on the sofa watching snooker, in an empty house, with a few cans". Then I got dressed and went to work.