Snooker 2019

[biggytitbo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-e_9grgKGo

Was just browsing Youtube and found this clip of some good sportsmanship from Ronnie. I actually disagree with what he did here as there were much easier options Ding could have taken to hit a red.

Anyway, this comment on the video was great:

I wouldn't mind having Ding tightly squeezed in behind my brown.

[Morrison Lard]

[The Boston Crab]

The only sport with darts maybe I can tolerate any more. Cricket at home but generally this is the only one I can be bothered with. Foot and rug are cunt zone. Darts is all Dutch these days

[ToneLa]

Jimmy White slings his hook, the fuck

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The Snooker Shoot-Out, fuck me have you ever watched more of a Tesco Value piece of entertainment? They let the audience shout stuff out but because no-one cares what's going on, the only people you hear are cunts and pisshead cunts in an otherwise atmosphere free venue (because the shouting takes the silent feel of tension away). The ugly, mostly ill-fitting sponsors tshirts they make everyone wear. The pallid gurning of the players. The lack of any sort of Big Break type compere that might actually add levity.

It is the sort of thing a bunch of people with no idea what makes snooker appealing would come up with to appeal to a new audience.

And to top it off, that new audience have to somehow be watching Quest or Eurosport because it wasn't really about appealling to a new audience, otherwise they'd have sold the rights cheaper to a channel with 1 million+ viewing figures.

[imitationleather]

The Snooker Shoot-Out, fuck me have you ever watched more of a Tesco Value piece of entertainment? They let the audience shout stuff out but because no-one cares what's going on, the only people you hear are cunts and pisshead cunts in an otherwise atmosphere free venue (because the shouting takes the silent feel of tension away). The ugly, mostly ill-fitting sponsors tshirts they make everyone wear. The pallid gurning of the players. The lack of any sort of Big Break type compere that might actually add levity.

It is the sort of thing a bunch of people with no idea what makes snooker appealing would come up with to appeal to a new audience.

And to top it off, that new audience have to somehow be watching Quest or Eurosport because it wasn't really about appealling to a new audience, otherwise they'd have sold the rights cheaper to a channel with 1 million+ viewing figures.

Well I'm sold. Can't wait until 10pm when the extended highlights are on.

[Flouncer]

Earlier there were a load of blokes in the audience - there's no other way to put this - making mong noises.

"Uuu-uh!"
"Uuuuuh-uh."
"Uuuuuuh!"

Just back and forth to each other, for about five minutes. I can understand people shouting drunkenly and getting excited, but fucking hell... Why would you pay to go to a fucking snooker match then carry on like that? It was really pissing me off. Proper PLEASE GAS THIS HOUSE OF CUNTS moment.

[imitationleather]

Earlier there were a load of blokes in the audience - there's no other way to put this - making mong noises.

"Uuu-uh!"
"Uuuuuh-uh."
"Uuuuuuh!"

Just back and forth to each other, for about five minutes. I can understand people shouting drunkenly and getting excited, but fucking hell... Why would you pay to go to a fucking snooker match then carry on like that? It was really pissing me off. Proper PLEASE GAS THIS HOUSE OF CUNTS moment.

Uuuuuuuuh.

A 139, there. Colour me converted!

Uuuh-uuuuuuhh!

[ToneLa]

Legend Gary does the snooker

[Flouncer]

A 139, there. Colour me converted!

That was a pretty amazing break. Uuuh-uh!

Legend Gary does the snooker

The sad thing is, this is what Barry Hearn wants snooker to be like - he sees no reason why it shouldn't be just like a PDC darts audience, with a load of red faced, brain-dead steamers roaring abuse at the players while they're down on the shot, getting up to go to the bar every five minutes to pay £20 for a pint of Stella.

[imitationleather]

The commentators chuckling about the audience members not knowing what round of the tournament it is chimes with my experience of going to the PDC World Championship, for sure.

[imitationleather]

Hold on, this is a ranking title?

[Blue Jam]

Bwahahahaha, that's even better than Jeff Lynne Dog. One for the pile of regular memes, along with Stephen Lee/Shaun Murphy's tiny face and Ding and his great big pile o'pies.

[Flouncer]

Hold on, this is a ranking title?

Yeah, it wasn't at the beginning but it has been since 2017. The winner gets to play in the Champion of Champions event too. Bit mad really.

[biggytitbo]

It's mad considering in snooker terms this one is a total lottery.

[Blue Jam]

Ronnie, just go to bed mate:

https://mobile.twitter.com/TheSportsman/status/1101785935283449856

[Blue Jam]

...and step away from Twitter:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/28/ronnie-osullivan-goes-entertaining-bizarre-twitter-rant-snooker-ranking-points-8786611/

[MidnightShambler]

I've been watching the Seniors 6 Red World Championships this afternoon. The standard is absolutely abysmal and I wouldn't be surprised if its the last time Seniors snooker is televised. Watching Tony Drago and an amateur from Jersey missing blacks off the spot and long pots by 2 feet is not my idea of entertainment.

I'm only 37 and these days I can pot anything or miss anything, my best days are years behind me so why they think it's a good idea to show 55yr olds with thick glasses and arthritis struggling to make a break of 16 is completely beyond me. The drop off after people's eyes have started to deteriorate is so big that you can't make it a spectator sport, its tragic.

That being said, Hendry is up soon and he'll be the exception.

[Blue Jam]

I've got an idea for a show in which senior players compete to pot the most reds, but are only allowed to pot them by hitting another red first.

It's called Plants Versus Zombies.

^{I'll get me coat...}

[MidnightShambler]

I've got an idea for a show in which senior players compete to pot the most reds, but are only allowed to pot them by hitting another red first.

It's called Plants Versus Zombies.

^{I'll get me coat...}

Ha! There could be an endurance type show, where Jimmy White has to spend a day in a room full of ladyboys without touching one and if he doesn't he gets awarded that elusive world title.

Having said that though, it'd all be over inside an hour and Jimmy would go to his grave still being a 6-time runner up.

[BlodwynPig]

...and step away from Twitter:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/28/ronnie-osullivan-goes-entertaining-bizarre-twitter-rant-snooker-ranking-points-8786611/

An example of a superfluous article that was unnecessary. Modern journalism.

[MidnightShambler]

Hendry's cue ball control has gone to seed but as you'd expect he's still a fantastic potter. Just goes to show though that if the greatest player ever can only look semi-decent at this stage, what hope has Tony Drago got?

[Blue Jam]

An example of a superfluous article that was unnecessary. Modern journalism.

Admittedly you could have just read Peter Ebdon's Twitter feed for yourself, but it's all vegan hectoring and retweets of Jacob Rees-Mogg, so Metro have saved you the bother.

[Flouncer]

Haha, Jimmy was 3-0 up against Hendry in a first to four; Hendry's just got one back. Could we be witnessing one of Jimmy's famous bottle jobs?

[Flouncer]

I've been watching the Seniors 6 Red World Championships this afternoon. The standard is absolutely abysmal and I wouldn't be surprised if its the last time Seniors snooker is televised. Watching Tony Drago and an amateur from Jersey missing blacks off the spot and long pots by 2 feet is not my idea of entertainment.

I'm only 37 and these days I can pot anything or miss anything, my best days are years behind me so why they think it's a good idea to show 55yr olds with thick glasses and arthritis struggling to make a break of 16 is completely beyond me. The drop off after people's eyes have started to deteriorate is so big that you can't make it a spectator sport, its tragic.

That being said, Hendry is up soon and he'll be the exception.

Fucking hell, I thought I'd give this a chance but you're not wrong. It's like watching some old cunts have a knockabout in the back room of the local WMC. I enjoy a lot of matches other people find boring but this is fucking tedious.

[MidnightShambler]

Fucking hell, I thought I'd give this a chance but you're not wrong. It's like watching some old cunts have a knockabout in the back room of the local WMC. I enjoy a lot of matches other people find boring but this is fucking tedious.

Genuinely, any half decent young club player would have beaten any player on show today, maybe apart from the bit of Hendry I saw against Joe Johnson. As well as the physical deterioration, they just couldn't care less either which leads to a complete lack of concentration. They know they're all shells of themselves so nobody is bothering to really try, it was fucking painful to watch.

Nice to see Jimmy White's 'hair' get another outing though.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Would bald Jimmy White more resemble dying Christopher Hitchens or Gary Glitter, do you think?

[The Boston Crab]

I pronounce snooker like snook-errrr like the chow-derrrr guy in the Simpsons

[Flouncer]

Maybe the gaming pub wouldn't have gone down the tubes if you'd had Jimmy White's 2: Cue Ball on the old Dreamcast, Bosto - it would have pulled them in like nobody's business!

[Blue Jam]

I pronounce snooker like snook-errrr like the chow-derrrr guy in the Simpsons

I pronounce it "Snucker", like Terry The Taff, because I am also a Taff.