Main Menu

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 03:49:58 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Snooker 2019

Started by dr beat, January 12, 2019, 03:17:07 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Puce Moment

Quote from: Blue Jam on April 22, 2019, 11:37:39 AMIt looks like The Morose Cunt From Leicester may be heading for yet another first round embarrassment.

This has been one of the most interesting and exciting opening weekends for the World Championship - I usually don't watch some of the opening matches because the coverage is so shit, cutting into matches, flicking over to BBC2, leaving one frame left to the following morning etc. But I have watched every second.

The Molesta from Lesta getting knocked out in the first round would make me happier than Ding trying the new Chicken and Gravy pukka pie. Come on that Chinese child!

monkfromhavana

Is there any more bleak spectacle in snooker than a couple of old middle-aged men morosely lifting the "ton-up" cards as if they've been told their families will be shot if they don't get into the spirit of the event.

Blue Jam

Those TON UP banners want graving.

Quote from: Puce Moment on April 22, 2019, 01:48:49 PM
The Molesta from Lesta getting knocked out in the first round would make me happier than Ding trying the new Chicken and Gravy pukka pie. Come on that Chinese child!

Up now: Ronnie vs James Cahill. Come on that Blackpool child!

Puce Moment

Quote from: monkfromhavana on April 22, 2019, 02:15:58 PMIs there any more bleak spectacle in snooker than a couple of old middle-aged men morosely lifting the "ton-up" cards as if they've been told their families will be shot if they don't get into the spirit of the event.

I love that most of the bazzer changes still seem really naff and out of place - the sight of men with three CDs in their collection bumbling down those steps to the sounds of Kasabian is still really awkward


Puce Moment

Quote from: Blue Jam on April 22, 2019, 02:23:29 PM
Those TON UP banners want graving.

Up now: Ronnie vs James Cahill. Come on that Blackpool child!

He's got Kanye - he's going to 'smash this'!

Hazel carefully asked Steve about the kid, and not The Best Uncle in the World

https://metro.co.uk/2019/04/21/james-cahill-reveals-snub-uncle-stephen-hendry-budding-snooker-career-9282295/

imitationleather

The Vegan t-shirts from yesterday are in Meat Free Monday now.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Puce Moment on April 22, 2019, 02:33:19 PM
He's got Kanye - he's going to 'smash this'!

I was really hoping he'd have With My Little Stick Of Blackpool Rock

Quote from: Puce Moment on April 22, 2019, 02:33:19 PM
Hazel carefully asked Steve about the kid, and not The Best Uncle in the World

Hahahaha... It's alright, Cahill is a Tart.

Love the way the crowd are getting behind Cahill here.

Blue Jam

FUCK YEAH

Damn, I wish I'd bunked off work and could watch this properly now...

imitationleather

Cor, Ronnie playing pretty poorly so far. I still think he'll win but it's looking a lot closer than anyone would have expected so far.

Can't watch the other game because all the ham hanging off Higgins' skull makes me want to throw up.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The tracklist is fantastic. Pure comedy. Inside the minds of the most mundane men in the country, apart from McGill who is a lovely wee bald shite.

kidney

Finish 'im off James 'es a MUG

Blue Jam

Quote from: imitationleather on April 22, 2019, 02:40:05 PM
The Vegan t-shirts from yesterday are in Meat Free Monday now.

Did Ronnie go over and ask them if they fancied a nice bit of sirloin?

Ronnie looked tired, like a man who had been awake all night worrying about being beaten by an amateur.

Come on James, you ruddy-cheeked young scamp, you can do this.

Flouncer

Old Gristle Face is through. He's had a fucking terrible season, though; I doubt he'll get too far this year.

dr beat

Mistakes galore in Ronnie vs Cahill, but very watchable and a great way of getting over jet lag in my case. Cahill should have been 6-3 up.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Hope Cahill gets nailed and pisses his pants. Brutal patriarchal humiliation.

Flouncer

Selby vs. Zhao heating up nicely now; Zhao just levelled it at 7-7. Selby tried to grind the last frame out and extend his lead, getting a few snookers, but Zhao pulled out a couple of lovely pots when he needed them. Great stuff, really tense.

kidney

Just picked up on Dennis' penchant for the phrase "the young Chinese player".

finnquark

Seeing Selby move around the table with these cameras reminds me of Lee Sharpe celebrating in the early 90s.

Puce Moment

Is there anyone in the world of professional snooker, other than perhaps Mark King, who is less deserving of the nickname 'Jester' than that morgue faced dullard Selby? He's the most humourless cunt in the game.

Watched all of the Higgins match and just could not stop myself being distracted by his anaphylactic zika head. He looks like someone being constantly strangled by an invisible man.

Anyway, these are all smashing matches so far - just seeing Selby getting distracted and grumpy about someone coughing in the crowd tells me he's going to have a real shiter of a tournament.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Love The Man From Leicester, pitiless stare, grind, grind, grind. A determination previously unseen in the pie baking badlands of Mercia. Looks like he would strangle the life out of a dog - only the elite sportspeople you can say that about. Come on Mark.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Puce Moment on April 22, 2019, 11:23:39 PM
Is there anyone in the world of professional snooker, other than perhaps Mark King, who is less deserving of the nickname 'Jester' than that morgue faced dullard Selby? He's the most humourless cunt in the game.



Dripping with wit and belly laughs

QuoteSelby, who faces English qualifier Gary Wilson on Thursday, joked: "It was never in doubt. I am over the moon to get through. I managed to dig in.

Is it the Hearn effect, many of the top players don't have any grace in defeat or victory...contemptible arseholes.

EOLAN

Love Stuart Bingham taking what must be a parody group "Virtigo" doing a song about U2.

Oh and the song choice for Graeme Dott which seems to be the absolute anti-thesis of what he represents in both lyrics and musical tone.

Blue Jam

#442
Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 22, 2019, 05:32:15 PM
The tracklist is fantastic. Pure comedy. Inside the minds of the most mundane men in the country

It's like a proper audiophile playlist isn't it? I can imagine most snooker pros being the type: spending £50K on a soundsystem for the snooker room, spending ages adjusting the speakers to get the "sweet spot" to the middle of the baulk end, and then wasting it all on Simply Red and The Lighthouse Family.

Apart from Steve Davis, obviously.

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 22, 2019, 05:32:15 PM
apart from McGill who is a lovely wee bald shite.

...and apart from McGill. I've become a bit fascinated with snooker players' Twitter feeds and McGill used to fond of tweeting vegan stuff and Smiths lyrics...

Reading snooker players' Twitter feeds has also convinced me that snooker players shouldn't be allowed to do anything apart from play snooker. They shouldn't tweet, they shouldn't write books and they shouldn't breed, they should just be kept in little pods and only allowed out for matches.

imitationleather

It's almost like spending all day every day in a snooker hall from age seven is not conducive to producing a well-rounded person.

Sebastian Cobb

Last time they tried walk ons Mark King came bouncing around the tables to Ice Cube's You can Do it.

It also didn't really work as unlike at the darts where you walk on towards an oche, snooker players walked from a drab corridor in the dressing rooms straight out to where the tables were.

Blue Jam

Ronnie's gone and lost the Astroboy barnet...

Flouncer

Bingham's playing gash.

Blue Jam


Blue Jam

Ronnie looks like he's had a long dark night of the soul, poor guy. Anything up with him? I mean, beyond the usual...

Some lovely positional play from Cahill and he appears to have nerves of steel.

imitationleather

Cor, Cahill may actually do this.