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Snooker 2019

Started by dr beat, January 12, 2019, 03:17:07 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Shoulders?-Stomach!

He's started on the coke, just needs to build on losing World Snooker finals and then the wig will follow.

biggytitbo

Eventually he will also smoke a crack with Kirk Stevens.

Durance Vile

Up a tree, with a chainsaw.

petril

Quote from: biggytitbo on May 05, 2019, 08:45:17 PM
Lots of comparisons between Trump and Jimmy White, do you think he'll follow in Jimmy's footsteps and have some bizarre hair substitute grafted onto his balding scalp?

can't wait for the Hong Kong movie cameo tbh

poo

Shit hot though in he? Fair play to the cunt.

imitationleather

Higgins is getting TOLD.

BlodwynPig


Flouncer

Jimmy would have been better off gluing a handful of pubes to his dome.

imitationleather

Anyone got that Jimmy White cat to hand?


imitationleather


Morrison Lard

Quote from: imitationleather on May 05, 2019, 10:23:11 PM
Even better than I remembered.
I hope they used that cat model in the latest snooker videogame.
Or hopefully some whizzkid can mod it.

BlodwynPig

how long has Higgins been referred to as the Wizard of Wishaw? Is this another BBC-Harry Potter tie-in?

Morrison Lard

Quote from: BlodwynPig on May 05, 2019, 10:25:39 PM
how long has Higgins been referred to as the Wizard of Wishaw?
Since he conjured up his "son" from a drop of Frankie Boyle's blood and a whisker from Chris Evans.


Morrison Lard

No idea why Nicholas Lyndhurst's photo is in there at the bottom, perhaps part of the summoning process.

imitationleather

The dressing room looks so bleak it makes me want to hack at the tendons in my arm with a razor blade.

poo

Hah yeah, I was thinking that.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Higgins, the Wobblebottom of Wishaw, has just about cracked. Amazing how he's barely been given a chance, I counted two long pots which he missed.

biggytitbo

Quote from: Morrison Lard on May 05, 2019, 10:21:18 PM


Enjoy!


He's great. Sadly has more chance of qualifying for the crucible than the human version though.

FredNurke

Quote from: MidnightShambler on May 05, 2019, 05:56:56 PM
Luckiest. I'm starting to think I made that word up now.

Nope, it's in Jonathon Green's dictionary of slang, with a first quotation from Trainspotting (the OED hasn't updated its entry for SPAWNY yet).

Andy147

Quote from: BlodwynPig on May 05, 2019, 10:25:39 PM
how long has Higgins been referred to as the Wizard of Wishaw? Is this another BBC-Harry Potter tie-in?

At least 21 years.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Andy147 on May 05, 2019, 11:12:45 PM
At least 21 years.

Potter was around then - probably at its peak - but I haven't heard the nickname until this year.

Menu

Quote from: MidnightShambler on May 05, 2019, 05:56:56 PM
Luckiest. I'm starting to think I made that word up now.

Thank you!

Menu

Quote from: MidnightShambler on May 05, 2019, 05:58:17 PM
Watching that House Of Frames yesterday, Virgo looked like an alcoholic recovering from a stroke. One scruffy bastard.

I saw that too. I don't mean to be ghoulish but his hands were shaking as well. I hope he's ok. I know it's not a popular opinion here but I like his commentary. He's insightful and amusing - which is more than most commentators are in any sport.

Menu

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on May 05, 2019, 07:39:12 PM
This performance by Higgins really makes you wonder where all the 'I'm close to the end', self pity comes from from top level players and makes virtually all of them unlikeable.

I never thought I'd say this but I think I might want the absolute cuntfaced fucking twat to win. He seems to have a smile on his face of late and hasn't visibly hoovered up kilos worth of coke like Trump. I feel disgusted and lowered as a human for admitting this. Typical snooker emotions

He was in tears at the end of his semi(probs not for the first time, right lads?!). But it's also not the first time he's started crying after a match . I think snooker must be far more psychologically affecting than we might imagine. The self pity might be related to the mental strain they put themselves under.

poo

Really hope we get something of a final session because I've got Dad coming round with a Dr Oetker and we're planning on filming ourselves pretending to be rabbits watching the snooker.

jobotic

Psychologically affecting. Mental health issues. Stress.

In my day it was called Snooker Loopy and we celebrated it.

biggytitbo

Martin Gould had never murdered a single prostitute before he took up snooker, it became an outlet for him from all the stress of matchplay, a bit like electro-funk DJ'ing is for Steve Davis.

Blue Jam

2020 tickets on sale in five minutes, motherfuckers:

https://www.cruciblesnooker.com/