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If you could have a little version of yourself.

Started by Icehaven, January 13, 2019, 05:37:14 PM

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Icehaven

Just saw an ad for pensions which involved a woman being followed around by a tiny 8 inch or so version of herself, dressed just like her and helping her at work etc. There'd be advantages of course, the aforementioned potential for help at work and home, always having someone to talk to who agreed with you and thought like you, and you could put mini versions of clothes on them to see if they suited you etc. But there'd be downsides too, the responsibility, probably having to have a doll's house for it to live in, making sure the cat didn't eat it.

So if you could have one of these, would you?
The scope for really obvious penis jokes is quite wide with this so unless they're hilarious please resist.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth


Fambo Number Mive

Having a doll's house for it would be quite fun. And if I didn't want some of my food (an unlikely scenario) it could eat my leftovers.

Getting little glasses for it would be difficult though.

Buelligan

I am the little version.  You should meet my giant.


Konki

What is the morality surrounding using it as a sex aid?

touchingcloth

I'd like a tiny me of a suitable size and slipperiness to comfortably pop in my anus. Good lung capacity a must.

Buelligan

Buy it a tiny snorkle, it's the least you can do in the circumstances.

Konki

Maybe he doesn't want a snorkel sticking out of his arse all the live long day.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Buelligan on January 13, 2019, 05:52:38 PM
Buy it a tiny snorkle, it's the least you can do in the circumstances.

I'm more of an autoasphyxiation kinda guy, and I imagine Tony Cloth (touchingswatch?) would be as well.

I spotted the typo above before posting, by the way, but I like it a lot so it stays.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Konki on January 13, 2019, 05:54:07 PM
Maybe he doesn't want a snorkel sticking out of his arse all the live long day.

I do, I just don't want Tony to be able to use it.

Twed

Probably just relentlessly tweak the little prick's nipples with chopsticks. Put a clothes peg on his head and see if it bursts. Dress him up like a little gladiator, tell him he's going to fight the cat and then immediately stamp on him.

Buelligan

Quote from: Konki on January 13, 2019, 05:54:07 PM
Maybe he doesn't want a snorkel sticking out of his arse all the live long day.

I think he'll be fine with it once he understands the importance of this matryoshka-arse performance. 

I was saving this but I'll tell it now.  EACH, EVER TINIER, ARSEHOLE WILL HAVE ITS OWN PERKY SNORKEL AND ITS VERY OWN MINI TOUCHINGCLOTH. 

Just think about that and see how happy it makes you feel.

Replies From View

I'd be happy to keep a miniature version of myself in a Real Ghostbusters Fire Station as long as it came with it, so to speak.

touchingcloth

Forgot to ask, but I'm what sense am I having this tiny man?

Maurice Yeatman



Twed

I'd position the stupid bastard three feet ahead of me and instruct it to run, because if I catch up to it I'm going to put it in a spider's web.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Maurice Yeatman on January 13, 2019, 06:10:17 PM


It isn't, though, is it? Unless they make them to order and then package them in the kind of thing that looks for all the world like it's designed to hang off a peg in Poundland.

biggytitbo

Normally the smaller version of the pair is the clever one, so the question should be what is this tiny bastard version of me going to use me for.

Ferris

[tag] Richard Herring leaks newest emergency question [/tag]



jobotic

Will it whine on like me but it In a high pitched voice? Fuck that.

Twed

I'd be really nice to little me but constantly sing a song about a tiny corpse that looks exactly like me to unnerve it.

Pseudopath

Quote from: bgmnts on January 13, 2019, 07:11:42 PM
Definitely shag it.

How though? It's only eight inches tall, so it's unlikely that any of its orifices will be accommodating of your gigantic genitalia. That only leaves the prospect of ramming said homunculus into your own anus or vagina, putting it at risk of severe musculoskeletal damage and suffocation. Not to mention the question of how you'd be able to look it in its (probably infected) eyes afterwards. Relationships don't just bounce back from that kind of spectacle.

touchingcloth


Lost Oliver

Sorry lads but I'd leave him at home all day and get him to tidy up.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Wasn't this sort of featured in an episode of Black Mirror? Can't remember which one, they all tend to blend together after a while, but there was a mini Oona Chaplin in it. I'd like that - a mini Oona Chaplin to do my bidding. Can we arrange that then, yeah? Cheers.

Twed