If you could have a little version of yourself.

[Replies From View]

Wasn't this sort of featured in an episode of Black Mirror? Can't remember which one, they all tend to blend together after a while, but there was a mini Oona Chaplin in it. I'd like that - a mini Oona Chaplin to do my bidding. Can we arrange that then, yeah? Cheers.

Was that the episode with the miniature people inside home-control pods - sentient Siri type things?  I don't remember a mini Diane Keaton or Suzanne Lloyd though.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Yeah that was the one. I remember it had Jon Hamm in it as well, so it was White Christmas.

[biggytitbo]

I'd make my small me get into a pie, so just his tiny head is sticking out of the crust.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I'd love a tiny version of me, for one thing I could make him teach my online English classes and just stay in bed sleeping while he does so. I'd also make him in to a youtube star as well, with videos of him fighting hamsters and doing battles with spiders, people would think I was a cgi wiz when in fact I'd just be filming him stab tiny animals. I imagine he'd be quite useful stealing stuff too, he could hide in shops overnight and then let me in and help me nick stuff, that is if the youtube thing doesn't lead to our making millions.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I could call him Little Lazarus or Plural Phoenix.

[bgmnts]

How though? It's only eight inches tall, so it's unlikely that any of its orifices will be accommodating of your gigantic genitalia. That only leaves the prospect of ramming said homunculus into your own anus or vagina, putting it at risk of severe musculoskeletal damage and suffocation. Not to mention the question of how you'd be able to look it in its (probably infected) eyes afterwards. Relationships don't just bounce back from that kind of spectacle.

Handy then I suppose.

I don't need to look him in the eye.

[CaptainSchpunklewiff]

Would there be a Jitterbug scenario like in that Christopher Nolans film wherein I would catch myself only to be caught by a larger version of myself?
If no, then I would get it a matchbox, fully furnished with a wonder-wardrobe and a rather fetching lamp.

[Paul Calf]

I don't get any of you cunts any more.

[touchingcloth]

I don't get any of you cunts any more.

We've all just got tiny versions of ourselves lodged in our anuses.

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

I imagine he'd be quite useful stealing stuff too, he could hide in shops overnight and then let me in and help me nick stuff

assuming Smaller Man doesn't fall to his death unlocking the door for you, he wouldn't even be able to shift anything! Or if someone ran in and startled you , you might drop something and crush him. Best to just leave him at home or, once he's let you in, stuff him up your arse.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Use him as a bassplayer that CORRECTLY SPLITS UNITS OF TIME WITHOUT OVER PLAYING OR WANTING TO 'JAM THINGS OUT' for an entire rehersal

[Icehaven]

Use him as a bassplayer that CORRECTLY SPLITS UNITS OF TIME WITHOUT OVER PLAYING OR WANTING TO 'JAM THINGS OUT' for an entire rehersal

Then when he plays the first note see him explode as the resonance rips through his tiny body.

[Replies From View]

Then when he plays the first note see him explode as the resonance rips through his tiny body.

Or his tiny bass guitar won't sound proper.

[hedgehog90]

If I had a little version of myself I'd strip him naked, dye his hair blue and shove a pencil up his bum.

[Small Man Big Horse]

assuming Smaller Man doesn't fall to his death unlocking the door for you, he wouldn't even be able to shift anything! Or if someone ran in and startled you , you might drop something and crush him. Best to just leave him at home or, once he's let you in, stuff him up your arse.

I'd give him a piece of string so he could climb down after unlocking the door, and he could stay in my thick, lustrous hair while I went around doing all the thieving. Obviously most Cabbers don't have such an ability and would have to store their small man in their arses, which is why my small man would be the one who lived the longest. I don't have this username for nothing I should have you know.

[Replies From View]

If I had a little version of myself it would sneak around popping flaked-off verrucas into people's socks.