ROBOCOP EXCEPT HE'S RUNNING WINDOWS 10

[madhair60]

Crimer: You'll never stop my rapes, Robocop!

Robocop: here is a picture of a volcano

Crimer: what

Robocop: firmware update available, shutting down in 10 seconds

Crimer: wow this is dog shit. what a terrible robocop.

[Fambo Number Mive]

EMIL: I know you! Youre dead. We killed you

ROBOCOP: Unable to install updates. Need 2GB of space.

EMIL shoots Robocop and gets on bike, drives away.

ROBOCOP watches him

ROBOCOP: Downloading update HKR40. Downloading for 23 mins. HKR41 and HKR 42 are queued.

[greenman]

Law Abiding Citizen: Robocop my car has been crimed.

Robocop: App not found.

Law Abiding Citizen: Is it possible to revert to the old setup?

Robocop *stabs Law Abiding Citizen in the throat*

[Beagle 2]

Law abiding citizen: excuse me, can you direct me to the nearest subway station?

Robocop: LOADING BING MAPS

Law abiding citizen: mate

Robocop: right. thing is, I'm stuck in tablet mode. you'll need to... touch me

Law abiding citizen: ah look it's fine, I can ask that bloke

Robocop: on my face, touch me lightly on my face

Law abiding citizen: right. here is it? *taps, swipes* yeah, so it's left down there, cheers

Robocop: you have lovely warm hands and a gentle touch. an honest touch.

Law abiding citizen: oh right yeah thanks

Robocop: you're a handsome man

Law abiding citizen: kay mate well I've got to be g-

Robocop: YANK THIS AND REBOOT ME CITIZEN

[Spoon of Ploff]

ROBOCOP: Argh!!! ... I dreamed I was once married to a Windows NT4 Server, and we had a child called Windows 7.

Technician #1: Hmm, I thought we purged all that old code.

Technician #2: Only the good bits ahhhhhhh.

[St_Eddie]

[Delete Delete Delete]

Criminal: Ha, I shot ypur arm off mate.

Robocop: Luckily I am running Windows !0 and am based on PC technology, meaning I have a number of off the peg souloutions to help me fix myself.

Criminal: Mate, you have an Apple Logo on your Arse

Robobcop: Shit. Thats mean I'll have to go see a Genius who will tell me i'm beyond repair and that they should buy a new one.

[Pingers]

Citizen: Officer, quick! Some scrotes are trying to steal my car!

RoboCop: Like what you see?

Citizen: Do I fuck as like! It's brand new, cost me 35 grand!

RoboCop: Some shit about a .dll file missing, restart in 10 seconds

Citizen: Christ in a fucking bucket. Thanks for nothing Capita.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Robocop's files are encrypted!

For data recovery needs decryptor

How to access decryptor
1) Bitches Leave
2) Kill Bob Morton