Author Topic: Britain's Worst Standups  (Read 11292 times)

Mark Steels Stockbroker

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Britain's Worst Standups
« on: January 16, 2019, 11:43:10 AM »
Let's have a hate thread. I'd nominate people I heard on Radio 4 years ago but I hope they're not relevant anymore ie. they've fucked off.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2019, 01:59:53 PM »
Lee Hurst is, I think, the only headline British comedian I've seen die on stage.

I've seen plenty of supporting acts and club comedians die, but I can't remember their names and none of them got big.

As for my subjective opinion - Gervais, Brand (although that's more to do with how much I can't stand him and his personality, rather than his actual material), that Mickey cockney bloke, Jo Brand (although I like her a lot in sit-coms and panel shows), Donna Macphail...

The list could go on, but it's all very subjective.

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2019, 02:06:14 PM »
Roy Chubby Brown, for being quite intelligent yet knowingly playing to lowest-common denominator bigotry.

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2019, 03:05:13 PM »
Jo Brand, for sure, all that "Errrh " pause for laffter routine and that. I remember her telling a story on stage once about her taxi getting involved in a car chase, and the way she told it was exactly how you'd relate the story to a mate in the pub. You don't charge people money for that stuff. She just doesn't strike me as a naturally funnt person ( Julian Clary's sort of like that, but I find him a bit more likeable. )

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2019, 03:18:02 PM »
Roy Chubby Brown, for being quite intelligent yet knowingly playing to lowest-common denominator bigotry.

He's not intelligent in the slightest, he's a monumentally stupid cunt. Have you watched that documentary about him?

Anyway, these threads are pointless.

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2019, 03:18:36 PM »
although that's more to do with how much I can't stand him and his personality, rather than his actual material

That judgment rationale is not rigorous enough. Although it's very hard to get over your hatred of someone and judge the material alone. But I'll do it now. I pretty much despise Jimmy Carr, I just can't help but hate him. I even walked out of a gig of his half way through (ticket was a gift). But in the cold light of day his material is probably pretty good.

Used to hate Frankie Boyle too but he's won me round. His material is largely brilliant.

Bad stand ups though, it's a cliche but McIntyre is hard to ignore. Hating him is a cliche for a good reason. Kitson gets all sorts of respect but I can't listen to the cunt. I just can't get past his speech impediment. Probably missing out. Mickey Flanagan isn't very good.

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2019, 03:19:31 PM »
He's not intelligent in the slightest, he's a monumentally stupid cunt. Have you watched that documentary about him?

Anyway, these threads are pointless.

Who took the jam out of your doughnut?

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2019, 03:21:57 PM »
He's not intelligent in the slightest, he's a monumentally stupid cunt. Have you watched that documentary about him?

Anyway, these threads are pointless.

The one that proves he's not quite as stupid as his material makes him come across?

Yes.

What's your point?

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2019, 03:32:32 PM »
Jo Brand, for sure, all that "Errrh " pause for laffter routine and that. I remember her telling a story on stage once about her taxi getting involved in a car chase, and the way she told it was exactly how you'd relate the story to a mate in the pub. You don't charge people money for that stuff. She just doesn't strike me as a naturally funnt person ( Julian Clary's sort of like that, but I find him a bit more likeable. )

I definitely think Clary is naturally funny. He can get laughs from just his timing. The RHLSTP he did was testament to this.

Agree about Brand* though.

*and anyone else who shares that surname

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2019, 03:35:32 PM »
The one that proves he's not quite as stupid as his material makes him come across?

Yes.

What's your point?

He comes across as a very thick man who just reads and believes right-wing tabloid newspapers and regurgitates their headlines for barely exaggerated comic effect. That's my point.

I don't care if that sounds snobby, he's a cunt who brays bile for an audience of cunts (who he doesn't even like).

up_the_hampipe

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2019, 03:37:03 PM »
Kitson gets all sorts of respect but I can't listen to the cunt. I just can't get past his speech impediment. Probably missing out.

Jesus.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2019, 03:40:14 PM »
See? These threads never end well.

TOLD YOU SO.

Morrison Lard

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2019, 04:10:12 PM »
Sarah Millican.

I went to a comedy night many moons ago in Grantham and had the misfortune of sitting through 15 minutes of her act.
This was in a poxy little arts centre, an audience of about 30 people.

Her opening gags landed badly and after a couple of minutes she seemed to abandon her set altogether.

She picked out some woman in the audience, for no reason other than (in her words) "looking like a bit of a slag",
and spent the rest of her act just taking the piss out of "slag face".

It was a total fucking disaster from start to finish.


One for the Desolation thread there.

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2019, 04:13:55 PM »
He's not intelligent in the slightest, he's a monumentally stupid cunt. Have you watched that documentary about him?

The Channel Five one (I know of no other)?  Yes.

The one that proves he's not quite as stupid as his material makes him come across?


Definitely agree with that.  Remember that scene where he was writing different topical things on a flipchart, then talking about 'intermingling' the concepts, to see what came up, in terms of inspiration for comedy?   It seemed like the approach of a business strategist or academic.  Born in a different background, he could have been successful in another field, I think.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2019, 04:15:16 PM »
Chubby could have his entire head hollowed out and he'd still be more intelligent than his material

lebowskibukowski

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2019, 04:17:50 PM »
Can't remember his name but some bloke supporting Frank Skinner in the late 90's told about seven or eight jokes that didn't muster one laugh throughout, and I recall one terrible routine which involved a toilet seat. When no laughs were forthcoming, he simpered something along the lines of "You lot don't get  surreal stuff, then?"
No, we get it mate, it's just you were fucking diabolical.

Oh, and Adam Hess, a comedy vacuum...

Blinder Data

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2019, 04:20:59 PM »
Kitson gets all sorts of respect but I can't listen to the cunt. I just can't get past his speech impediment. Probably missing out.

You admit you are probably missing out on Kitson's comedy due to your intolerance, so how can you nominate him as one of Britain's Worst Standups?

STOP GETTING THREADS WRONG

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2019, 05:46:05 PM »
Kitson's "impediment" isn't even that bad.

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2019, 05:49:50 PM »
Can't remember his name but some bloke supporting Frank Skinner in the late 90's told about seven or eight jokes that didn't muster one laugh throughout, and I recall one terrible routine which involved a toilet seat. When no laughs were forthcoming, he simpered something along the lines of "You lot don't get  surreal stuff, then?"
No, we get it mate, it's just you were fucking diabolical.

Oh, and Adam Hess, a comedy vacuum...

Skinner’s mate on the podcast he does is dreadful too.

Brundle-Fly

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #19 on: January 16, 2019, 06:02:45 PM »
Jo Brand, for sure, all that "Errrh " pause for laffter routine and that. I remember her telling a story on stage once about her taxi getting involved in a car chase, and the way she told it was exactly how you'd relate the story to a mate in the pub. You don't charge people money for that stuff.

I always thought the 'my mate down the pub is far funnier than most comedians' hoary old cliché would mean she is quite in her rights to charge people for that stuff?  In her day, Jo Brand was great. Some cracking one-liners.

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #20 on: January 16, 2019, 07:15:41 PM »
The correct answer was Gina Yashere. But she's mainly in the US now and over there she's probably above-average.

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2019, 07:30:30 PM »
Oh, and Adam Hess, a comedy vacuum...

I like Adam Hess.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #22 on: January 16, 2019, 07:39:51 PM »
The Channel Five one (I know of no other)?  Yes.

Definitely agree with that.  Remember that scene where he was writing different topical things on a flipchart, then talking about 'intermingling' the concepts, to see what came up, in terms of inspiration for comedy?   It seemed like the approach of a business strategist or academic.  Born in a different background, he could have been successful in another field, I think.

Yes, he could've been a thick racist cunt in another field.

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #23 on: January 16, 2019, 08:33:47 PM »
Mark Watson and Gina Yashere.

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #24 on: January 16, 2019, 09:01:00 PM »
I always thought the 'my mate down the pub is far funnier than most comedians' hoary old cliché would mean she is quite in her rights to charge people for that stuff?  In her day, Jo Brand was great. Some cracking one-liners.

In my defence, Jo Brand * is * a massively unfunny cunt, the great bulk of her act depending on sarcasm and snark, basing a whole career on saying " I am fat, and like cream buns and that ", and  " men are cunts " Adapted when she got married and managed to combine mirthful stuff about getting an actual man to marry her, but he's s still a cunt, like. And Im still fat, and like eating , and that. She' s in her sixties now, still doing that shit. She has never, at any point, struck me a a naturally gifted comedienne.

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #25 on: January 16, 2019, 09:01:27 PM »
The correct answer was Gina Yashere. But she's mainly in the US now and over there she's probably above-average.

In some article she implied it was racism that prevented her from advancing her career in Britain rather than the paucity of her material.

Im sure it's more difficult being a comedian as a PoC, but come on now.

Angrew Lloyg Wegger

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #26 on: January 16, 2019, 10:45:59 PM »
In some article she implied it was racism that prevented her from advancing her career in Britain rather than the paucity of her material.

Im sure it's more difficult being a comedian as a PoC, but come on now.

Tbf she kind of has a point, I mean if you compare her success with mediocre white comics it seems far easier for mediocre white comics to be successful than mediocre black comics. Look at Russell Howard for bastard sake

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #27 on: January 16, 2019, 10:49:25 PM »
Tbf she kind of has a point, I mean if you compare her success with mediocre white comics it seems far easier for mediocre white comics to be successful than mediocre black comics. Look at Russell Howard for bastard sake

Her best ever review.

Angrew Lloyg Wegger

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Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #28 on: January 16, 2019, 10:53:42 PM »
Her best ever review.

^ yeah fair point, replace 'mediocre' with 'entirely shit'

Re: Britain's Worst Standups
« Reply #29 on: January 16, 2019, 11:01:32 PM »
Russell Howard could impersonate a relative and do lukewarm satire. That's twice as many things!