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Britain's Worst Standups

Started by Mark Steels Stockbroker, January 16, 2019, 11:43:10 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

mippy

These days, Andrew Lawrence is basically Lee Hurst Jr on Twitter, banging on about 'liberals' constantly.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on January 17, 2019, 10:56:13 AM
Clare Harrison, though she's now known as Clare Harrison McCartney as she married Paul McCartney.

Clare Harrison is doing something as part of the Camden Fringe with a friend of a friend, and I'm very tempted to go along as he's a decent stand up, so even if she's terrible it wouldn't be a disastrous situation. Of course if I do and I meet her and we fall in love I'd have to stop posting on CaB, as if she ever saw what had been written about her I presume she'd murder me.

Famous Mortimer

I once saw a Poundland version of Chubby Brown called Dickie Pleasant, in a pub somewhere. When about ten minutes of material fell completely flat, he just crooned a few old songs for the rest of his time on stage.

There's a singing miner character (not Brian the Singing Miner, who was amazing, and not a standup) who's presumably still appearing third on the bills of local comedy clubs up and down the Midlands. He does appalling comedy songs and a few jokes in between, and is just terrible.

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: lebowskibukowski on January 16, 2019, 04:17:50 PMhe simpered something along the lines of "You lot don't get  surreal stuff, then?"
No, we get it mate, it's just you were fucking diabolical.

In Alun Cochrane's dreadful show that's mentioned in the Fringe thread, which is about "why do all the kids have hurt feelings these days?" whenever nobody laughed at one of his jokes, he similarly challenged the audience with "Oh, I suppose I've hurt your feelings now have I?" No, we just didn't think that was funny.

mr. logic

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on August 23, 2019, 11:19:43 PM
In Alun Cochrane's dreadful show that's mentioned in the Fringe thread, which is about "why do all the kids have hurt feelings these days?" whenever nobody laughed at one of his jokes, he similarly challenged the audience with "Oh, I suppose I've hurt your feelings now have I?" No, we just didn't think that was funny.

He made a reference to how badly his show was going on the podcast this week. He's awful on that podcast. Only comedian I can think of with a genuinely apologetic delivery.

Mr Banlon

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on August 23, 2019, 06:58:47 PM
Clare Harrison is doing something as part of the Camden Fringe with a friend of a friend, and I'm very tempted to go along as he's a decent stand up, so even if she's terrible it wouldn't be a disastrous situation. Of course if I do and I meet her and we fall in love I'd have to stop posting on CaB, as if she ever saw what had been written about her I presume she'd murder me.
I see she's calling herself Clare Harrison-McCartney now. I'm guessing she has got married.

magval

Quote from: mr. logic on August 24, 2019, 02:42:52 AM
He made a reference to how badly his show was going on the podcast this week. He's awful on that podcast. Only comedian I can think of with a genuinely apologetic delivery.

Couldn't figure out why he was on Alternative Comedy Experience a few years ago. He just didn't fit the remit of that show either as a showcase for comedians who were less likely to be featured in a mainstream tv slot, or as a showcase for people who were funny.

olliebean

Quote from: Mr Banlon on August 24, 2019, 03:51:30 AM
I see she's calling herself Clare Harrison-McCartney now. I'm guessing she has got married.

Not sure, I think McCartney might be her dad's name or something.

Ferris

Quote from: Mr Banlon on August 24, 2019, 03:51:30 AM
I see she's calling herself Clare Harrison-McCartney now. I'm guessing she has got married.

If she had any gumption, she wouldn't stop at 2.

Clare Harrison-McCartney-Starr-Lennon.

Jake Thingray

It was more sad than funny, really, when she wondered on social media if she could get out of paying the licence fee, on the grounds she only ever watches ITV and Channel 5.

sevendaughters

I'm blocked by Andrew Lawrence (dunno why, I'm not that kind of twitter person) but I heard he'd stopped the crap liberal baiting and had gone back to, err, proper comedy (squeaking and being desperate for love).

hummingofevil

Quote from: sevendaughters on August 24, 2019, 07:17:47 PM
I'm blocked by Andrew Lawrence (dunno why, I'm not that kind of twitter person) but I heard he'd stopped the crap liberal baiting and had gone back to, err, proper comedy (squeaking and being desperate for love).

Nah. His Twitter feed is still RT lame as fuck shite. He's quite funny as a stand up but nothing more than a modern day Jim Bowen.

Mr Banlon

Quote from: olliebean on August 24, 2019, 09:00:03 AM
Not sure, I think McCartney might be her dad's name or something.
I hope she is married.
Imagine her hen night.

MattD

Bizarre how Robin Ince could ever carve out a career. How the hell did he get to where he was? Who the hell wasted time and money booking him?

Seemed to think that smugness and atheism being the most radical thing ever automatically made him funny.

That being said, the worst thing about him is propping up Brian Cox's career.

Virgo76

Hattie Hayridge went down like a bomb when I saw her supporting Alexei Sayle a few years back. Very flat. May have just been a one off flop though.
Robin Ince is great although worry he's going to have a breakdown any moment when performing.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: MattD on August 25, 2019, 04:00:53 AM

Seemed to think that smugness and atheism being the most radical thing ever automatically made him funny.



Well, it worked for Gervais....

gmoney

Quote from: mr. logic on August 24, 2019, 02:42:52 AM
He made a reference to how badly his show was going on the podcast this week. He's awful on that podcast. Only comedian I can think of with a genuinely apologetic delivery.

Skinner must do it on purpose, because every co-host he's ever had, with the exception of Emily Dean, has been dreadful. Gareth Richards is one of those comics that you can't work out why they are doing it and you get the sense that their close friends can't either. They once played a song he'd done about a fridge called Dave that I couldn't work out if it was meant to be funny or not, but it really wasn't. When Alun is off he's often replaced by Steve Hall, who's trademark is grinding the show to a halt with terrible puns and anocdotes that go nowhere. He was on yesterday, Skinner and Dean just ignored him at points and he just made dad-level puns to no one.

I know Skinner is very competitive, so I wouldn't put it past him to have deliberately crap partners and a non-comic to make himself shine brighter.

mr. logic

Yeah, that seems to make sense. Skinner is quite open about enjoying when jokes from other comedians fall flat, so he certainly has the right man for the job as far as that goes.

I do find Emily Dean funny, though. In fact, I've had quite a turn around on her to the point where I considered reading her book this week. Couldn't stand her when I began listening.

lankyguy95

Quote from: gmoney on August 25, 2019, 10:17:07 AM
Skinner must do it on purpose, because every co-host he's ever had, with the exception of Emily Dean, has been dreadful. Gareth Richards is one of those comics that you can't work out why they are doing it and you get the sense that their close friends can't either. They once played a song he'd done about a fridge called Dave that I couldn't work out if it was meant to be funny or not, but it really wasn't. When Alun is off he's often replaced by Steve Hall, who's trademark is grinding the show to a halt with terrible puns and anocdotes that go nowhere. He was on yesterday, Skinner and Dean just ignored him at points and he just made dad-level puns to no one.

I know Skinner is very competitive, so I wouldn't put it past him to have deliberately crap partners and a non-comic to make himself shine brighter.
He has said that part of the reason he had Emily on the show in the first place was because she understood his references so there's definitely a part of him that's picking co-hosts to help him look good. The weird thing is that she's often quicker and funnier than whichever comic's on.

Steve Hall in particular I don't understand why he ever does it. He's painful to listen to and is so often undermined by Skinner as well.

non capisco

I like Alun Cochrane but have to agree on Steve Hall. I've always detected that Emily Dean can barely stand the bloke which makes for an odd atmosphere whenever he pops up to sub for Cochrane.


Quote from: MattD on August 25, 2019, 04:00:53 AM
Bizarre how Robin Ince could ever carve out a career. How the hell did he get to where he was? Who the hell wasted time and money booking him?

Seemed to think that smugness and atheism being the most radical thing ever automatically made him funny.

That being said, the worst thing about him is propping up Brian Cox's career.

I don't doubt this will have been posted on here already, but the one thing worse than a stand-up who doesn't make you laugh is one who makes you want to slap the unfunny smug cunt daft.  Robin Ince is very much the latter:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KdocQHsPCNM

Is it just middle class wankers like him & Gervais who think they're intellectual & daring by pointing out what most of us knew & said on the primary school playground?  Pointing out that religions probably don't hold water makes cunts like Ince think they're Wittgenstein or Russell.  Picking holes in Creationism is hardly difficult or witty - it's piss easy, and usually comes across as simply bullying.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: TheBrownBottle on February 04, 2020, 08:36:52 AM
I don't doubt this will have been posted on here already, but the one thing worse than a stand-up who doesn't make you laugh is one who makes you want to slap the unfunny smug cunt daft.  Robin Ince is very much the latter:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KdocQHsPCNM

Is it just middle class wankers like him & Gervais who think they're intellectual & daring by pointing out what most of us knew & said on the primary school playground?  Pointing out that religions probably don't hold water makes cunts like Ince think they're Wittgenstein or Russell.  Picking holes in Creationism is hardly difficult or witty - it's piss easy, and usually comes across as simply bullying.

Ince is the worst. Some people just aren't naturally funny at all. A classic example of white middle-class male privilege in its cosiest form, someone who thinks he should automatically be listened to as he mumbles away, because he's been listened to all his life. A friend says he's very knowledgeable about horror films, although he's not particularly knowledgeable about anything else he talks about, so I have my doubts and would like to put him up against a guy with a chainsaw just to see. Sorry.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on February 04, 2020, 10:27:34 AM
A friend says he's very knowledgeable about horror films

This is true.  I saw Ince a few times doing his Bad Book Club shows, and shitty Z-grade horror books were among the most regular choices, and he'd always relate to the equivalent Z-grade trashy films.  I thought I was fairly up with my 60s and 70s Euro horrors, but he proved otherwise.  As a semi-related aside, I also once saw him browsing the Arrow Video horror section in one of the Fopps in Glasgow.

I have to say I really enjoyed those shows, BUT, to caveat, there was never anything about religion or science - it was all about really terrible books - and I've NEVER seen or heard him in his "normal" standup guise.  In fact, when that stuff with Brian Cox popped up, I thought it was unusual because all I knew Ince from was the Bad Book Club and a few "wasn't that fucking great/shit!" shows where he was a talking head, head talking about an old Shake and Vac ad.  It's only since then that I found out the Bad Book stuff was just a short diversion from his "main" career.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on February 04, 2020, 11:34:26 AM
This is true.  I saw Ince a few times doing his Bad Book Club shows, and shitty Z-grade horror books were among the most regular choices, and he'd always relate to the equivalent Z-grade trashy films.  I thought I was fairly up with my 60s and 70s Euro horrors, but he proved otherwise.  As a semi-related aside, I also once saw him browsing the Arrow Video horror section in one of the Fopps in Glasgow.

I have to say I really enjoyed those shows, BUT, to caveat, there was never anything about religion or science - it was all about really terrible books - and I've NEVER seen or heard him in his "normal" standup guise.  In fact, when that stuff with Brian Cox popped up, I thought it was unusual because all I knew Ince from was the Bad Book Club and a few "wasn't that fucking great/shit!" shows where he was a talking head, head talking about an old Shake and Vac ad.  It's only since then that I found out the Bad Book stuff was just a short diversion from his "main" career.

I saw a couple of those Bad Book Club shows too (including one at Glastonbury of all places, where he mocked Syd Little's autobiography) and really enjoyed them and had good things to say about Ince for a while, but then saw him doing his normal stand up and was disappointed. It wasn't terrible, just kind of seen it all before and failing to offer up anything inventive kind of stuff. Plus, as I always mention when talking about him, he was once accused of stealing material from here, including a throwaway joke I once made - https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,19475.msg975025.html#msg975025

Rich Uncle Skeleton

Quote from: TheBrownBottle on February 04, 2020, 08:36:52 AM

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KdocQHsPCNM

This is a load of smug toss but is that the French exchange student from TMWRNJ[nb]along with countless other things in a long accomplished career of his own I'm sure but I've only seen him in that, you can tell I probably have no business being on a comedy forum[/nb] on the left??

holyzombiejesus

Sorry to hark back but that Josie Long thread is really really vile. I'm glad some of those posters don't come on here any more (or have changed their names and attitudes).

Back on subject, has Barbara Nice been mentioned yet? Fucking hell, I hated the few minutes I had to spend watching her.

bigfatheart

Quote from: Rich Uncle Skeleton on February 04, 2020, 04:48:26 PM
This is a load of smug toss but is that the French exchange student from TMWRNJ[nb]along with countless other things in a long accomplished career of his own I'm sure but I've only seen him in that, you can tell I probably have no business being on a comedy forum[/nb] on the left??

Ben Moor, and I think it is.

olliebean

Quote from: bigfatheart on February 04, 2020, 05:12:03 PM
Ben Moor, and I think it is.

And Martin White on the right. 12 years ago I was going to buy an accordion for an Edinburgh show and my co-star vetoed it because "that's Martin White's thing." I hadn't realised only one person is allowed to have any particular instrument. I mean look at all the fuckers with ukuleles. (For context, we both ended up with fucking ukuleles.)

vainsharpdad

I was at this gig...
https://lewisschaffer.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/11-am-satur/
... so Lewis Schaeffer has to be a contender

I also saw Eddie Izzard on his Sexie Tour in 2005. I was so excited, but he was utterly, utterly shite. To the point where I haven't been able to watch him at all since, so disappointed was I.

(Greg Davies on the other hand, was Ace)