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Britain's Worst Standups

Started by Mark Steels Stockbroker, January 16, 2019, 11:43:10 AM

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Replies From View

Quote from: thenoise on January 17, 2019, 12:05:38 AM
Chubby Brown is a 'grafter', to be fair to him, and he writes an entirely new standup set every year

I can't help but feel this is an incredibly low bar.  Like reading a whole standard-sized novel in twelve months.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on January 17, 2019, 11:06:07 AM
I think rather than being a sincere bigot, he's bright enough to identify his target audience's prejudices and create material that panders to it that has at least the appearance of a basic form of wit.

You could say that about Katie Hopkins.

A cunt's cunt.

Quote from: Replies From View on January 17, 2019, 05:17:09 PM
How shit a comedian is goes beyond the material though.  I hate Jimmy Carr's material, especially the endless stream of irrelevant one-liners, but I also hate his performance persona - whatever you'd call it - and his shit swirl-of-nougat-with-grit-for-eyes face.

It all counts.

Hard agree with this. Not all just about how bad their material is, if they are a cunt as well makes it even harder to like them. So Seann Walsh gets my vote, insufferable in every conceivable way.

Quote from: Petey Pate on January 17, 2019, 11:26:41 AM
There's also a bit where he goes on about how he couldn't stop staring at the first black person he saw in real life.

To be fair, most people might if they were not used to seeing non-white people.

gib

Quote from: Replies From View on January 17, 2019, 05:23:39 PM
I can't help but feel this is an incredibly low bar.  Like reading a whole standard-sized novel in twelve months.

No i think that's pretty good going if i'm remembering Stewart Lee's book right. For the record i do not like Roy Brown.

olliebean

Richard Herring did it for years. Of course his quality control is somewhat lower than Stewart Lee's. (And I'm guessing, without having seen more than the odd few-second clip of Chubby Brown, that his is lower still.)

Mark Steels Stockbroker

Wasn't Kate Smurthwaite banned by students once?

hummingofevil

Quote from: Bobloblawslawbomb on January 17, 2019, 06:23:36 PM
Hard agree with this. Not all just about how bad their material is, if they are a cunt as well makes it even harder to like them. So Seann Walsh gets my vote, insufferable in every conceivable way.

I decided I hated his act from a head shot photo of him in the Fringe programme about 6 years ago. Felt very vindicated when the Strictly scandal happened.

hummingofevil

Quote from: gib on January 17, 2019, 07:32:39 PM
No i think that's pretty good going if i'm remembering Stewart Lee's book right. For the record i do not like Roy Brown.

How difficult can it be to write a Chubby Brown routine though? I reckon I could knock one out in an afternoon. You've just got to swap the word "Somali" into his Pakistani templates and think of a new similie for how tiny-his/massive-his-wife's genitals are.

In his defence he did make me laugh when I was about 12 years old which is more than you can say for Andy Zaltman.

Édit: As i type this Im listening to Django Jane by Janelle Monae and it contains the N word 5 times, the word "pussy" twice and the word "Alice". Context

easytarget

The guy on the Sunderland 'Til I Die documentary who, and this was filmed in 2018AD, did impressions of Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci. In the context of "What if *this* guy ran Sunderland AFC?!".
And the impressions were shit.

Anyway - he ties for dead fucking last with Josh Widdicombe

imitationleather

Quote from: easytarget on January 17, 2019, 11:22:18 PM
The guy on the Sunderland 'Til I Die documentary who, and this was filmed in 2018AD, did impressions of Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci. In the context of "What if *this* guy ran Sunderland AFC?!".
And the impressions were shit.

Anyway - he ties for dead fucking last with Josh Widdicombe

That bit was bizarre. In front of an audience of students at The Stand in Newcastle as well, who almost definitely had zero familiarity with the backroom staff at Sunderland AFC. He clearly has been doing those impressions his entire comedy career, altering who they're about to fit whatever has been in the news recently. "What if Joe Pesci was in charge of Brexit?! <Insert any quote My Cousin Vinny, whether it makes sense or not>" It doesn't explain why he was doing it about that football team, though. It must have just been a one-off for the benefit of the documentary, surely?

thenoise

Quote from: olliebean on January 17, 2019, 10:29:51 PM
Richard Herring did it for years. Of course his quality control is somewhat lower than Stewart Lee's. (And I'm guessing, without having seen more than the odd few-second clip of Chubby Brown, that his is lower still.)

Herring's audience would demand a new show every year, though. I think Chubby's audience would happily hear him repeat the same shit pub jokes every year, like Jim Davidson does. And he's kept this up much longer than Herring has (doesn't he still try and sell cassettes and VHS of his early gigs on his website? Or maybe that was Davidson I dunno).

thenoise

Quote from: hummingofevil on January 17, 2019, 10:59:36 PM
How difficult can it be to write a Chubby Brown routine though? I reckon I could knock one out in an afternoon. You've just got to swap the word "Somali" into his Pakistani templates and think of a new similie for how tiny-his/massive-his-wife's genitals are.

It's harder than it looks to reel off that many jokes without making any of them funny.

Don't forget to throw in an excruciating musical number, in a schoolboy singalong style with hateful sweary lyrics:

i tried to lick me wife's cunt the other night
I went down there but it smelt like shite
Why was her cunt so small and brown?
Whoops I'd forgotten to turn her round!

imitationleather

Quote from: thenoise on January 18, 2019, 01:41:38 AM
i tried to lick me wife's cunt the other night
I went down there but it smelt like shite
Why was her cunt so small and brown?
Whoops I'd forgotten to turn her round!


Hmm. That's actually quite funny. If that is genuine Chubby Brown that is some vintage stuff for him.

Maurice Yeatman

#74
Deleted on second thoughts. Offensive terms are still offensive, even in a Chubby Brown parody. Catalectic trochaic tetrameter as well.


JCR

Quote from: easytarget on January 17, 2019, 11:22:18 PM
The guy on the Sunderland 'Til I Die documentary who, and this was filmed in 2018AD, did impressions of Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci. In the context of "What if *this* guy ran Sunderland AFC?!".
And the impressions were shit.

Anyway - he ties for dead fucking last with Josh Widdicombe

I saw Widdicombe at the Edinburgh Fringe years back and bloody hell I had forgotten how awful he was, all sub Peter Kay nostalgia for an 80's childhood observational material, he was literally talking about the Argos catalogue and seaside arcades. I usually try to find the positives in Fringe shows but it was so bad.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Replies From View on January 17, 2019, 05:17:09 PM
How shit a comedian is goes beyond the material though.  I hate Jimmy Carr's material, especially the endless stream of irrelevant one-liners, but I also hate his performance persona - whatever you'd call it - and his shit swirl-of-nougat-with-grit-for-eyes face.

It all counts.

If it all counts then me being bothered by a comedian stuttering is valid too. I'm not having a go. I'm not showing up to all his gigs heckling him. Part of a comedian being enjoyable for me is the delivery. Impediments have an effect on delivery.

My point was Carr and Kitson have material that is better than average but as we all agree it can be difficult to enjoy the delivery system.

Sebastian Cobb

What's the stance on Les Dawson these days? I know the alternative comedians at times hold him up as a poster boy for the mother in law era, but to me it seems he was a master of his craft and unlike a lot of his contemporaries not an actual bigot. Plus he did some good wordplay.

checkoutgirl

Always loved Dawson. Even made Blankety Blank watchable.

Jerzy Bondov

Les Dawson was brilliant and a bit of a frustrated intellectual. I highly recommend ex (?) CaBber LFBarfe's biography.

Jockice

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on January 18, 2019, 08:07:03 AM
What's the stance on Les Dawson these days? I know the alternative comedians at times hold him up as a poster boy for the mother in law era, but to me it seems he was a master of his craft and unlike a lot of his contemporaries not an actual bigot. Plus he did some good wordplay.

i remember reading in a book about the 80s alternative comedy scene that he did a set at the Comedy Store or somewhere like that and won the crowd over. Basically by being funny. Which he was.

Maurice Yeatman

Quote from: checkoutgirl on January 18, 2019, 08:23:22 AM
Always loved Dawson. Even made Blankety Blank watchable.



But if he was to come up to my wife and start shouting knickers, knackers, knockers...

Petey Pate

Roy 'Chubby' Brown apparently thinks that Jimmy Carr is more offensive than him.

Quote from: https://onemansreview.wordpress.com/2018/09/22/interview-roy-chubby-brown/"Sarah Millican, Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle all have material worse than mine. Jimmy Carr points out young lads in the front row and says things to them I'd never dream of saying. I draw the line at some of that stuff."

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: thenoise on January 18, 2019, 01:37:54 AM
I think Chubby's audience would happily hear him repeat the same shit pub jokes every year, like Jim Davidson does.

Not being Devil's advocate for the sake of it, but I doubt Brown and Davidson would repeat the same shit pub jokes every year anyway.  Do not assume their regular fanbase wouldn't be pissed off if this was the case.

Sebastian Cobb


Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on January 18, 2019, 09:57:35 AM
Same jokes, different order.

Blimey Seb, you must be a real fan of The Chubster and Jimbo to know their annual touring sets so well.

chrispmartha

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on January 18, 2019, 09:40:45 AM
Not being Devil's advocate for the sake of it, but I doubt Brown and Davidson would repeat the same shit pub jokes every year anyway.  Do not assume their regular fanbase wouldn't be pissed off if this was the case.

Oh I don't know, Peter Kay has managed to forge a 20 year stand up career on one stand up show ;-)


checkoutgirl

Quote from: Petey Pate on January 18, 2019, 09:19:51 AM
Roy 'Chubby' Brown apparently thinks that Jimmy Carr is more offensive than him.

Vasey is rooted in that seventies idea where if a comic says "fuck" the next comic will come on and say "Sorry about that offensive language ladies and gentlemen, anyway a poof, a wog and a spick went into a bar..."

It depends what you find offensive I suppose. I got into some argy bargy in a pub once because the old woman didn't appreciate curse words or disparaging references to my mother.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on January 18, 2019, 09:40:45 AM
Not being Devil's advocate for the sake of it, but I doubt Brown and Davidson would repeat the same shit pub jokes every year anyway.  Do not assume their regular fanbase wouldn't be pissed off if this was the case.

There are many fans who want to hear the same jokes like a band playing the old hits.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Maurice Yeatman on January 18, 2019, 08:52:23 AM


But if he was to come up to my wife and start shouting knickers, knackers, knockers...

This has made me massively LOL whilst sitting in a restaurant, having me lunch. Got some looks. Well, I just hope you're pleased with yourself