Author Topic: Diana's revenge  (Read 7181 times)

Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #60 on: January 18, 2019, 10:01:14 AM »
Quote
The duke was driving a Range Rover...The duke is back at Sandringham and has seen a doctor as a precaution

Can you imagine the medical setup they must have at Royal residences?
Bet it must be like a mini BUPA hospital in a room, if only to keep them alive until they can get a good spot in the news cycle to announce the death.

biggytitbo

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #61 on: January 18, 2019, 10:29:25 AM »
The Daily Mail's depiction of him today has to be a piss-take.




I'm having that image of the crumpled Duke framed.

Blumf

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #62 on: January 18, 2019, 10:37:03 AM »
Kind of an Alastair Sim crossed with Richard Wilson thing going on

Blumf

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #63 on: January 18, 2019, 10:57:51 AM »
"Blast it Liz! I've twunted the car!"


And in forum avatar size:

Head Gardener

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #64 on: January 18, 2019, 11:26:53 AM »

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #65 on: January 18, 2019, 11:29:32 AM »
To commemorate this tremendous event the royal mint have issued this special limited edition two pound coin:


batwings

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #66 on: January 18, 2019, 11:52:19 AM »
To commemorate this tremendous event the royal mint have issued this special limited edition two pound coin:



It would be in poor taste to flip it.

biggytitbo

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #67 on: January 18, 2019, 11:58:47 AM »
I hope he gets a Princess Diana like memorial fountain, but its piss rather than water.

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #68 on: January 18, 2019, 12:22:46 PM »
Fair fucks to a 97 year old involved in a traffic collission in which his car flipped over and he didn't die

His licence should be taken off him though obvs

Paul Calf

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #69 on: January 18, 2019, 12:33:21 PM »
What the fuck was he doing driving around Norf North Norfolk on his own?

biggytitbo

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #70 on: January 18, 2019, 12:33:48 PM »
When he's in his lizard form he cannot be harmed. That's what caused the accident actually, he normally knows to switch back to human when he leaves the boundary of Sandringham so as not to alarm motorists or dogs, but the dozy old sod forgot didn't he.

Attila

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #71 on: January 18, 2019, 12:34:29 PM »
I wonder if Hedgehog could animate that Daily Mail diagram. I'm a visual learner.

To commemorate this tremendous event the royal mint have issued this special limited edition two pound coin:



When I became a citizen in 2016, all I got was a lousy commemorative coin of the Queen's 90th birthday (and a certificate with Theresa May's gurning mug on it) . If only I'd've held off a few years.



This is now my favourite thread.

biggytitbo

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #72 on: January 18, 2019, 12:34:49 PM »
What the fuck was he doing driving around Norf North Norfolk on his own?


He had his 'royal protection' with him apparently, but unfortunately it was David Jason.

Attila

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #73 on: January 18, 2019, 12:37:34 PM »

He had his 'royal protection' with him apparently, but unfortunately it was David Jason.

More like the ghost of Hal Needham.

I hope when his Rover rolled over there was a slide-whistle noise like that stunt in The Man with the Golden Gun.

(And I do honestly hope the people in the Kia are all right)

biggytitbo

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #74 on: January 18, 2019, 12:42:07 PM »
Quote
A man has described the moment he lifted Prince Philip out of his overturned Land Rover after a "horrendous" crash near Sandringham Estate.

Roy Warne said he had some of the Duke of Edinburgh's blood on his hands after helping free the 97-year-old from the wreckage.

FInally, a chance to test it and find out once and for all. I imagine it'll be like that scene in the Thing where they put the wire in the blood though.

Norton Canes

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #75 on: January 18, 2019, 01:16:08 PM »



Has to be the first time a member of the UK royal family has had a career, arf!

Norton Canes

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #76 on: January 18, 2019, 01:20:34 PM »


Can anyone spot what's wrong with this..?

[edit: Ah, no, forget it. Accident happened in the afternoon, not the morning]

Crabwalk

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #77 on: January 18, 2019, 01:24:50 PM »
"Blast it Liz! I've twunted the car!"


And in forum avatar size:


This cannot be repeated enough.

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #78 on: January 18, 2019, 01:39:13 PM »
Quite honestly - and I know it'll sound like I'm joking, but I want to be clear that this is 100% the truth - quite honestly - I mean, I know I very rarely post anything even slightly sincere and only really come out of the irony cocoon if a fellow forum user dies or something, but in this case I am not exaggerating or trying to make a funny joke, and that's a promise - quite honestly if I had come across the scene of the accident I would have left Philip to die without hesitation and I would have been absolutely gleeful about my decision for weeks afterwards.

biggytitbo

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #79 on: January 18, 2019, 01:44:16 PM »
Yeah but would you have pulled his pants down first?

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #80 on: January 18, 2019, 01:45:22 PM »
Possibly. On further reflection I would also have tampered with the fuel tank in such a way as to cause the car to catch fire.

Crabwalk

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #81 on: January 18, 2019, 01:48:02 PM »
Quote from: Mr Loophole, lawyer to the stars
If the sun was so low and right in your eyes, sometimes it is impossible to see, and that may well have been the case and that would afford him a defence,

Yeah, sorry that your baby was almost mashed up but the sun was in my eyes and I just thought 'fuck it'.

biggytitbo

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #82 on: January 18, 2019, 01:48:28 PM »
I'd have arranged for a french ambulance to take him to a nearby hospital, but at 3 miles an hour so it takes 90 minutes and he dies on the way.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #83 on: January 18, 2019, 01:50:46 PM »
I 100% without a word of a lie would have found a rock and bashed his head totally in

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #84 on: January 18, 2019, 01:54:56 PM »

Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #85 on: January 18, 2019, 01:55:22 PM »
Think about this, he definitely pissed himself, and probably shat himselff

Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #86 on: January 18, 2019, 01:55:52 PM »
To be fair he probably does that most days but at least we know FOR DEF

icehaven

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #87 on: January 18, 2019, 01:58:52 PM »
I suppose it's characteristically contrary of him, after having spent his whole adult life being driven everywhere by chauffeurs and generally waited on hand and foot, to suddenly decide it's time to assert his independence and do stuff for himself the minute he no longer can.

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #88 on: January 18, 2019, 02:03:02 PM »
He always drove around everywhere by himself didn't he? I'm basing this on an anecdote I heard about him winding down the window to give somebody a mouthful somewhere near buck palace in the 80s.

ROYAL WATCH.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Diana's revenge
« Reply #89 on: January 18, 2019, 02:04:07 PM »
He always drove around everywhere by himself didn't he? I'm basing this on an anecdote I heard about him winding down the window to give somebody a mouthful somewhere near buck palace in the 80s.

ROYAL WATCH.
blow job