Losing stuff

[Brian Freeze]

Are you a loser?

There's a couple of folk I know who are constantly losing keys, bank cards etc.
Famous for it they are. One of them I work with and he dropped his wedding ring last night near a machine here, thought "I'll grab that later". Forgot about it and now it's been swept up by a labourer on day shift and is in a bulk bag of swarf and shavings in a skip outside.

And he's not that bothered. I'd be going frantic to find it. I almost am and it's not even mine.

Shall I empty the massive bag of dust and shite out to look for something for someone who isn't that bothered about losing an expensive bit of metal?

[Cerys]

Yes.

Edit - that is, yes you should look for the ring.

[bgmnts]

Yes, I am a loser.

[Sin Agog]

My mum used to tell me to pray to Saint Jude.  Usually after she'd already found what I was looking for without telling me.  If I closed my eyes and prayed with real conviction and passion, she said, Saint Jude, the patron saint of lost causes, would find it for me.  She'd then drop my Mario Kart cartridge onto my lap from above while my eyes were closed. Long after I stopped believing in Santa Clause, I'd think I had a personal in with this all-powerful Jude dude.  Amelia Earheart, Atlantis, grainy black and white Marilyn Monroe pornos...I could have brought them all back if I wanted to.

[popcorn]

I've lost countless things. It is a horrible feeling. I once lost a bank card and the second the new one arrived I went to an ATM and left it inside.

Once left a bag of clothes on a train in Hokkaido. I paid to have them shipped back to me - more than the value of the clothes -  because I am just so bothered by the thought of things not being in their correct place in the universe. Horrible.

[Brian Freeze]

No luck, but I did look. It was very much like the biggest and crappest bran tub ever.

I'm still amazed at how relaxed he is about it.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Yes, I am a loser.

In his early days, Beck was quite a formal gentleman.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Yes, I am a loser.

Alright 'Doris Duke'.

[Beagle 2]

Massive, massive loser. Lose things minute by minute. By the end of typing this message I'll have lost something. Lost my wedding ring within a month of getting married - I didn't want a wedding ring because I knew I'd lose it. Don't want another one, I'll lose it. I'm into the 30s on the amount of bank cards I've had for my current account, I lose around three a year. I've stopped trying to find ways not to lose stuff now and just accepted that I will lose stuff forever. As I type right now, I genuinely don't know where my trousers are.

[Huxleys Babkins]

I've lost countless things. It is a horrible feeling. I once lost a bank card and the second the new one arrived I went to an ATM and left it inside.

Once left a bag of clothes on a train in Hokkaido. I paid to have them shipped back to me - more than the value of the clothes -  because I am just so bothered by the thought of things not being in their correct place in the universe. Horrible.

What if the train was the correct place for those clothes and by having them shipped back you've upset the balance of the universe and Trump and Brexit are your fault?

Blood on your hands mate. Blood on your hands.

[MojoJojo]

Due to loss, buying cheap backups and insurance claims, I now have four wedding rings. That's how wed I am.

[studpuppet]

Shall I empty the massive bag of dust and shite out to look for something for someone who isn't that bothered about losing an expensive bit of metal?

[Brundle-Fly]

I lost the only gold ring I ever owned. It really upset me and similarly, I've avoided having one since. The irony is that rings usually only get lost when you take them off for safekeeping.

I don't think I've ever returned home after a boozy night out without having some casualty on the Saturday / Sunday morning. It's that awful running around the flat with the hangover monkeys crawling all over you, muttering to yourself Shittingfuckingfuckstabbingfuckersshitbollocksyouuselesscunttwat, as you hunt for your wallet/ jumper/ wad of cash/ that phone number on a beermat/ expensive earphones/ music player of some description/ new book/ reading glasses// your birthday presents... your entire bag containing all that has just been mentioned.

[pancreas]

Lost a new passport within a week of receiving it. Had to cancel trip to Europe.

[Jumblegraws]

Massively so and constantly made fun of for it by friends and family. Since I lose my mobile about five times a day, my instinct when I misplace anything else is to try and phone it.

I'm a staunch sceptic with no time for serious consideration of the supernatural, but in moments of extreme frustration I've imagined I'm stalked by a little goblin who steals things from me and secretes them away just to torment me. I have fantasised about capturing and slowly killing this goblin.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I can't find my telly remote for love nor money, but don't see why it would've left my gaff. Did I bin it by mistake?

[MojoJojo]

Have you sold your sofa recently?

[Jumblegraws]

I can't find my telly remote for love nor money, but don't see why it would've left my gaff. Did I bin it by mistake?

Have you looked in the kitchen?

[Endicott]

No. I ought to be as I have a terrible memory but I built routines around stuff like wallet and keys so that I always do the same thing with them, even if I'm blind drunk. They always live in the same pockets, regardless. If I deviate from this I get little panic attacks that I've lost everything. I haven't lost a wallet or a key for about 25 years.

Of course this didn't stop me wandering off from a cash point with my card but leaving 100 quid in the machine one hungover morning last summer.

Dropped a boarding card once, but got very lucky and found it by retracing my steps. I think airports discombobulate me a bit. I've since created rules about how I handle passport and boarding card so I know where they are.

Christ, what a boring post.

[jobotic]

I can't find my belt. I've got another one but even so.

Always losing minor things - gloves, vests - that then appear days later in the places that I looked for them to no avail.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Have you looked in the kitchen?

Yes! And the lavatory.

[Icehaven]

Since I lose my mobile about five times a day, my instinct when I misplace anything else is to try and phone it.

I do this too, and I actually find myself getting unreasonably annoyed at things that can't be located by ringing, which is everything in the world except a phone. Surely someone's invented some little alarm or buzzer thing you can attach to easily misplaced things like keys and wallets and have an app on your phone to which makes it go off if you lose it. Edit; Of course they have.

I've known two inveterate key losers, my Mum and my best friend from school. It got to the point where my friend's Mum made her wear her front door key on a piece of string round her neck because she'd lost about 5. My Mum's ridiculous though, always leaves it until we're literally on the way out of the door and suddenly realises she can't find the house keys and hasn't left them in one of the places she 'always' leaves them. She can't even blame getting older either because she's always been like it. Actually I might get her one of the key tracker things...

[Zetetic]

Yeah.

https://thewirecutter.com/reviews/best-bluetooth-tracker/

Do all seem a bit rubbish though.

[Icehaven]

Quite good how some of them work in reverse too though, so if you lose your phone you can press a button on the tracker and your phone will ring.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Lost a new passport within a week of receiving it. Had to cancel trip to Europe.

pancreas stepping out of character here in what critics call a "sensitive" and "well-handled" moment of pathos

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I'm shit for losing accessories I don't usually need, but seasonally require. Hats, gloves, sunglasses, umbrellas etc. So many pubs, train seats, relatives houses and so on have received my inadvertent gifts.

Never lost anything important but such is life, I suspect it will happen one day.

[popcorn]

I've got a pair of Tiles, bluetooth trackers. I've yet to use one in anger but I have a suspicion they're a bit shite.

[Icehaven]

I lost my passport in the mud at Glastonbury 1997. Only took the bloody thing in case we got ID'd buying booze as I'd only just turned 18 and several of my friends weren't yet. Didn't get asked once (which is just as well as I'd lost it.)

[Icehaven]

I've got a pair of Tiles, bluetooth trackers. I've yet to use one in anger but I have a suspicion they're a bit shite.

Hmmm. I mean they have one job.

The description of this one on Amazon is good fun though;

DO NOT WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOUR VALUABLE ITEMS ANY MORE: our GREEN key finder can help you find the valuables with our easy-to-use app "iSearching" for iPhone and Android, just attach this smart finder to any wanted items of choice with the key ring and string, then you can ring your smart key finder and use the indicator to find your items or you can ring your phone if you lose your phone even on silent by tapping the smart tag.
• HAVE PEACE OF MIND KNOWING YOUR BELONGS ARE SAFE: the "iSearching" app will give you an alarm when you start losing connecting with the key finder(normally within 25 meters' distance), if your valuable item gets out of the range, the app can also record the last location of disconnection in order that you can track it in the built-in map, thus you can go back to that area and they can reconnect as soon as you are close to the key finder.
• LEAVE THE BEAUTIFUL PICTURE VIA GROUP PHOTO AND SELFIES: the perfect moment can be captured by our smart tracker via app link remote phone camera shutter, no more odd man out when the timer hits 0.
• SUPER LOW ENERGY CONSUMPTION, LONGER SERVICE LIFE: our anti-lost location tracker can last more than 12 months, so do not worry the battery will die soon. moreover, the GREEN COLOR itself means energy saving and this bright color can also make it easier to SPOT your valuable items even when the indicator is not used.

I've heard some tenuous claims of being environmentally friendly in my time but ''The GREEN COLOR itself means energy saving'' is up there.

[popcorn]

The thing I didn't realise about Tile is that of course they only work if the lost item is within bluetooth range. That's still pretty useful for confirming that your wallet definitely isn't somewhere in your house, but only if you're 100% confident that the tracker is working properly, which I never would be. It really needs a feature to alert you when you go out of bluetooth range - like "you just walked off without your keys, is that OK?" - but frustratingly it doesn't have that yet.