Simon Cowell's new face

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Two packs of fags I can understand. He's had a good sunbathe all day, now he's off to smurk 40 tabs and tan his bottle of wine, but why two lighters?

Edit: It's also entirely possible that he's just done a Weinstein and wanked off his cock into that potted plant.

[Sebastian Cobb]

No wonder he's always getting new gnashers if he's knocking back 40 tabs and a bottle of red on the regs.

[idunnosomename]

They should put that on fag packets.

they could put on wine bottles and i'd never drink again

[Janie Jones]

Wow, look how his dermal fillers have degraded, though. He's starting to look more like a normal middle-aged man, notwithstanding the ludicrous dental implants.
That's the problem with facial fillers and it's why you see so many hamster-cheeked Renee Zellwegers and Carol Vordermans. Fillers only last 6- 12 months so regular users tend to go for this frightening plumped-up look that mellows into something like a more natural youthful look in a month or two but as your face starts to sag again in 4-6 months as the fillers break down, you chase that age-defying fix and end up looking like Barry Manilow or Nanna Madge.

[Sebastian Cobb]

When they've just had it done they look like they're having an allergic reaction to something.

[Sherringford Hovis]

Carol Vordermans. Fillers only last 6- 12 months

I wonder if The Sun will do a countdown of Carol's arse returning to normal proportions like they did a countdown to Emma Watson and Charlotte Church's 16th birthdays.

[seepage]

they could put on wine bottles and i'd never drink again

that Bogle stuff can take your face clean off, which is presumably why he's got himself a new one.

[Butchers Blind]

60 years old and still doing his open shirt thing.

[Tombola]

One of the many joys of this thread is that every time a new genuine photo emerges, I instinctively laugh and assume it's a joke. He's crackers man he's crackers.

[Cursus]

[idunnosomename]

Down at Cowell Rock
Catch a Cowell by its cock

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

60 years old and still doing his open shirt thing.

I also admire his dedication to his position as the unofficial figurehead of the jeans and sheux movement

[Brian Freeze]

Nice skid marks where he's just broadied up to the paparazzi.

[idunnosomename]

Thats Manchester Reform club behind him. Venetian Gothic. Guess hes in the Hotel Gotham which is a nice Lutyens Midland Bank

[Alberon]

Lidl Adam Ant on the left there despairing at Cowell's fashion choices.

[Phil_A]

I also admire his dedication to his position as the unofficial figurehead of the jeans and sheux movement

He's like a living optical illusion. As if the very proportions of his body have attained the quality of the uncanny

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

He was on the X Factor tonight, which I unfortunately ended up watching, and I couldn't concentrate on his face, because he was wearing a snazzy pair of shorts, and my brain wasn't sure which thing to focus on. I think I would like him to die.

[Blumf]

It's like that episode of American Dad where Rodger finds a magical pair of shorts than make his legs bigger, but Cowell's got Ricky Martin's magic shirt... and it makes his face all weird too.

[Glebe]

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Bravo.

[Sebastian Cobb]

he's got a massive neck and thin arms.

[Butchers Blind]

Everthing is wrong with him. T-shirt doesn't fit, shades look out of shape on his face and his bootcut jeans from Top Gear (c)2005 are too long.  With his money, sort it out.

[bgmnts]

Holy shit I thought those shades were photoshopped on.

[samadriel]

They've got the same expression as his eyes.

[Old Gold Tooth]

It's weird he had all his joints removed.

[DrGreggles]

Holy shit I thought those shades were photoshopped on.

They're not shades, they're holes.

[Cursus]

[NJ Uncut]

Simon Cowell bolts new things onto his frame to continue his reality that is Being Simon Cowell

If augmentations from Deus Ex become a thing, Cowell's well up for it. Cyborg legs to leap over small buildings. Robo-arms to pick up bins. Augmented head, moreso

[Sebastian Cobb]

Tin ears so he can hear how SHIT his pop music is.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Cybernetic cunt valve

I mean, look at his shoes. For fuck's sake.