Author Topic: Simon Cowell's new face  (Read 57277 times)

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #720 on: November 17, 2019, 01:28:46 PM »
Jeez. Just look at the state of these two in the main picture. Don't usually go for appearance-based insults but these two have brought it upon themselves.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/britains-first-gay-dads-split-20898892

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #721 on: December 21, 2019, 08:29:29 PM »

Johnny Yesno

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Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #722 on: December 21, 2019, 08:38:38 PM »
Zaphod Beeblebrox has let himself go.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #723 on: December 21, 2019, 08:43:34 PM »
I just re-read this thread and became a bit concerned I might become one of those "Died while laughing" statistics.

Ooh, it's Saturday night and I'm having a fucking good laugh at an old man's face.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #724 on: December 21, 2019, 10:05:40 PM »
I wonder if Cowell is aware of Limmy's righteous vendetta against his face. I wish they'd get involved in a Twitter war, it's all a bit one sided so far.

How do you counter people rinsing the obvious surgery you've had?

Other than self-immoliation you're fucked

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #725 on: December 21, 2019, 10:35:04 PM »
I suppose he could acknowledge it and make light of it like Joan Rivers or something, but that would require a degree of self awareness and introspection that I don't think old Simo possesses.

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #726 on: December 21, 2019, 10:39:25 PM »
at least he can't look sad about it



because the rigidity of his new face does not allow it haha. he cannot frown, he cannot cry

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #727 on: December 21, 2019, 10:42:59 PM »


Actually his face is starting to look much better... no, wait that's a monkey's arse.

Glebe

  • On my own on Saturdays.
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #728 on: December 21, 2019, 11:32:37 PM »

Somebody from Madness have really let themselves go on beach with a monkey on their shoulder.

Cardenio I

  • Hasta la muerte, todo es vida
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #729 on: December 22, 2019, 12:31:55 AM »


I refuse to believe this is a real picture.

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #730 on: December 22, 2019, 01:22:20 AM »
I refuse to believe this is a real picture.

Just because the man in the backgrounds hat is a little jaunty, doesn't mean it's not real.

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #731 on: December 22, 2019, 01:28:14 AM »
I hope that monkey tried to fuck his ear.

Cardenio I

  • Hasta la muerte, todo es vida
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #732 on: December 22, 2019, 01:30:48 AM »
Pretty sure that ear is a trompe l'oeil.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #733 on: January 05, 2020, 01:26:35 PM »
Keep 'em peeled, he's doing a barclays advert. It's like one of those Adam and Joe things where they used to make dolls talk by composting their mouths over the top of the dolls mouth.

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #734 on: January 05, 2020, 01:30:44 PM »

Johnny Yesno

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Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #735 on: January 05, 2020, 01:41:07 PM »
composting their mouths

Is this another term for making celebrities swear - potty mouths?

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #736 on: January 05, 2020, 01:42:55 PM »
The Barclays advert is from last year isn't it? Anyway, happy new year, freak features.

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #737 on: January 05, 2020, 02:04:19 PM »


Its like two faces stuck together.  The bottom half is that of a middle aged man and the top half... fuck knows, silly putty stretched out with craft eyes stuck in?

seepage

  • sweaty robot
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #738 on: January 05, 2020, 02:37:20 PM »
The Barclays advert is from last year isn't it? Anyway, happy new year, freak features.

yes, there's a spoof up-thread:
Simon checks his CaB account for the first time in ages...



Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #739 on: January 06, 2020, 09:25:12 PM »
He can't take it with him when he dies. Or his wealth. Because his face is cut off, you see? You see? Like Simon can't from his droopy scrotum eyes.

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #740 on: January 06, 2020, 09:32:06 PM »

Winning!

Twit 2

  • A soft voice whispers nothing.
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #741 on: January 06, 2020, 10:16:17 PM »
Less a set of teeth, more a rorqual’s baleen plate. He looks like a hostage forced into lying about their living conditions.

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #742 on: January 06, 2020, 10:22:55 PM »
He can't take it with him when he dies. Or his wealth. Because his face is cut off, you see? You see? Like Simon can't from his droopy scrotum eyes.
he wont die

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #743 on: January 06, 2020, 10:55:42 PM »
Indeed. He will never die when we still have his music.

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #744 on: January 06, 2020, 11:39:40 PM »
yes, all the great acts we treasure. like.


...


hahaha look at the cunts face it's like underneath a cuttlefish

Kryton

  • Disregard the Constabulary
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #745 on: January 06, 2020, 11:51:04 PM »
Seen my new face?
Mate.

Blumf

  • Not long now
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Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #746 on: January 06, 2020, 11:59:10 PM »
Indeed. He will never die when we still have his music.

Sad fart sound

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #747 on: January 07, 2020, 12:53:23 AM »
He is a cover version of a human being. Like his over-hyped 'acts'. But no new songs whatsoever (to my knowledge).

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #748 on: January 07, 2020, 01:52:21 PM »
He is a cover version of a human being. Like his over-hyped 'acts'. But no new songs whatsoever (to my knowledge).

His face has been aggressively autotuned.

Re: Simon Cowell's new face
« Reply #749 on: January 07, 2020, 02:28:48 PM »
With Simon Cowell's money, he must be able to afford the best plastic surgeons available. So it's not an amateur botched job. This new face must be something he specifically asked for. Because he thinks it looks good? He'll never get that CBE now.

Quote
Simon Cowell was reportedly left gutted after he was snubbed from the New Year's Honours list.

The X Factor judge, 60, was told last month that he'd been snubbed for a CBE despite raising a whopping £2million for charity in just six months.

A source told The Sun : “Simon is obviously upset. He’s never been in this game for recognition but at the same time he’s done more than most to entertain and do good.”





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