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DESOLATION_V.swf

Started by PlanktonSideburns, January 25, 2019, 03:25:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

PlanktonSideburns

Real life in work deso

'Do you want anything from my crisp pocket?'

Genuine surprise that I did not want to eat crisps out of his pocket

Shoulders?-Stomach!


a duncandisorderly

at least you get to work with gary lineker.

buttgammon

Marge Simpson lining her coat with sweets, but with crisps instead.

That's not desolate at all, that's actually a great idea. Now just to find a crisp convention that hands out free samples.

Sebastian Cobb

I once found a half eaten macaroon I did not recall buying in a jacket pocket.

Took a risk, didn't die.

the midnight watch baboon







well I got there - here -  too late.

Pingers


Ferris

The cold realization sets in: nobody liked your suggested desolation thread title enough and now the opportunity is gone forever.

He's lost count, just too many now. Clive inserts another tic tac.

Ferris

Come with me,
And you'll be,
In a wooorld of...


Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 25, 2019, 03:41:31 PM
Premature ejacudesolation

The Bumlord


A kingfisher breeding programme is no match for 3,864 fly-tipped fidget spinners.

petril

the only response on tinder is some lad with one of those shit t-shirts with the trippy faces you see in adverts in Viz. and the face of the eldery filth chatline ones they used to have where you're not entirely sure if it was real or just another bleak gag

petril

George Bestial gets a gritty, 80s themed reboot for a new generation

Ferris

Harry Potter aged 53, after the wife and kids have left. Sells autographs on Wizard eBay to get by.

Pingers

A dying man eulogises the 1970s. "You could beat and rape your wife and kids and nobody gave a shit".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Paddy Power fund an event where you bet on homeless people

batwings

Fletcher's Sunday night is sorted when he finds a VHS copy of Choice Cuts - Best of the Abattoir going for a song at a Truro car boot sale.

BlodwynPig

I've given up on these threads. Im only posting out of habit. A sense that's what people here want and expect. But it's not and never was. I'm moving on to pastures more desolate.

pancreas

BlodwynPig stands alone in a Canadian forest, hands on knees, trousers around the ankles, arsehole smeared in honey, bidding the bears to please come and finish the job for good.

petril

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 30, 2019, 06:31:40 PM
Paddy Power fund an event where you bet on homeless people

Paddy Power pull out after the integrity unit flags up some suspicious betting patterns in private landlords

Lordofthefiles

A widower is badly assaulted and robbed on a Sunderland council estate when he attempts to exchange a cash reward (previously advertised and organised on Facebook) for his recently deceased wife's jewellery which was stolen earlier in the week by burglars - the same lads, he now realises, that are kicking his ribs so hard that they pierce his left kidney.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: pancreas on January 30, 2019, 07:51:54 PM
BlodwynPig stands alone in a Canadian forest, hands on knees, trousers around the ankles, arsehole smeared in honey, bidding the bears to please come and finish the job for good.

You should open a wish fulfilment boutique.

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 30, 2019, 07:18:49 PM
I've given up on these threads. Im only posting out of habit. A sense that's what people here want and expect. But it's not and never was. I'm moving on to pastures more desolate.

If he's out I'm out

BlodwynPig

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on January 30, 2019, 11:17:04 PM
If he's out I'm out

I'M IN!

...Deep trouble....children...popcorn...mice...police...5am...Lorraine Kelly...rope

...or a variation thereof.

Ferris


BlodwynPig

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on January 30, 2019, 11:31:14 PM
thank fuck hes gone

We've got to suffer 6 months of your joyous outpourings, get the fuck out of here.

You accidentally send a dick pic to Mummy and she replies with a snatch shot within two minutes.

Ferris

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 31, 2019, 12:09:59 AM
We've got to suffer 6 months of your joyous outpourings, get the fuck out of here.

Ok I'm back then. I warned you all.

Ferris

The BBC commissions a sepia-toned look back at Operation Yewtree; The "Antique Rogues" Show.

David Dickinson gets the narrator job due to his apposite surname, and the light-hearted tone of the documentary strikes a chord with critics. A nation delights, and Brexit Britain wakes up the next morning a little brighter.