DESOLATION_V.swf

[Berthas Fat Leg]

A strategy game is hurled against a stepchild.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

'How's this for real-time you bitch'

[PlanktonSideburns]

"You can touch, but you can't look."

Incredible

[poo]

Hah yes, that's good deso

[Sebastian Cobb]

IRL Deso from me this morning.

Get on megabus, pissed from last night immediately turns to hangover, chemical toilet wafting someone's yesterdays all over the cabin.

[phes]

"You can touch, but you can't look."

brings to mind a real life deso. In a toy store called Christopher's in Portsmouth in the 1980s, my friend picks up a small, cheap plastic toy called a 'magic flute' and no sooner than he touches the item the owner bellows across the shop

'YOU BLOW IT, YOU BUY IT'

[phes]

Real life deso from Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. The Rolls Royce that Jerry drives Ricky Gervais in has a self-retracting mechanism on the Spirit of Ecstacy mascot that snatches it from the grasp of would be thieves, secluding it into the interior of the £300,000 cuntmobile

[batwings]

An unsuccessful attempt to digitise his Grandstand VHS archive consumes the bulk of Gerald's final days.

[petril]

An appeal to show some fucking credentials is ignored as the hospital staff all just get on with their work

[touchingcloth]

Yolanda Squatpump works a successful career as a movie makeup designer only for her name to appear in this thread for reasons not related to her work.

[dex]

"Well all that austerity bother was rather silly, wasn't it?" Bojo's first speech in the Commons as PM starts. "I think that it would be in the national interest if it was abolished immediately and people's hard earned went to the most needy."

Crowing, mooing and barking from all benches flabbergasted at this move.

Boris raises a hand and grins, waiting for the next pause in the cacophony so he can continue.

"Just kidding! Bwuhahahaha!!!!!!!"

And his shit for cunts bandwagon starts its roll downhill from there.

[Bazooka]

Peter almost escapes through an open window, before the metamorphosis gas turns him into a leech man, during the Tuesday night tiddlywinks meeting at the village hall.

[Bazooka]

A chubby boy eats frozen sausages to 'cool down',on a hot summers evening.

[Bazooka]

A heavily burnt bastard gurgles hot diet coke in a last ditch effort to gain some degree of energy, his last breath wants to be spent calling Kwikfit, to complain he never got the free tyre with his MOT.

[Bazooka]

A grandad tells his grandsons, they are more embarrassing than their father.

[Gregory Torso]

An elderly Ian Krankie wanders around the Aldi muttering "my boy ain't got no willy" to himself.

[Gregory Torso]

The Queen Mum decides to come back to life and begins whipping her floppy, undead pudenda at all the diners in the nearest Burger King.

[pancreas]

The Queen Mum decides to come back to life and begins whipping her floppy, undead pudenda at all the diners in the nearest Burger King.

oh god

[Ferris]

Jittlebags' terrific contribution to the local news thread

A "paedophile hunter" stole a wheel off a woman's car so he could travel 360 miles to Cornwall in search of perverts, a court has been told.

https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/paedophile-hunter-stole-wheel-womans-16643829

[touchingcloth]

A heavily burnt bastard gurgles hot diet coke in a last ditch effort to gain some degree of energy, his last breath wants to be spent calling Kwikfit, to complain he never got the free tyre with his MOT.

You can't be heavily burnt, heavily is weight. Would you like to change your post to read:

A heavily weight bastard gurgles hot diet coke in a last ditch effort to gain some degree of energy, his last breath wants to be spent calling Kwikfit, to complain he never got the free tyre with his MOT.

?

[petril]

a man farts in between rugby training drills. nobody reacts

[touchingcloth]

A man tells the two remaining friends - acquaintances really, they were just the ones propping up the bar the longest - in the pub that he had a one night stand last night and "only shat on her chest, lads".

One of them laughs loudly from his mouth but his eyes are dead - he laughs at anything, that one - and the other one's only reaction is a lip curl so slight he may as well have not reacted at all.

The drinking up bell rings, and they all three go their separate ways liking the other two less than they had before.

[Lordofthefiles]

Everything goes black...

When you regain consciousness it is apparent that you had a major stroke and now suffer from "locked-in syndrome".
Your carer listens only to Ed Sheeran songs and watches ITV2 16 hours a day... you are at their whim.

[Bazooka]

You can't be heavily burnt, heavily is weight. Would you like to change your post to read:

?

No.

[petril]

Jimmy Nail tries hard to play it off as a big man, dumping her because she's not good enough for him, but the relationship with the chatline operator was only in his own mind.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Love the grey gif, definitely adds something 3 the effect

[poo]

Chris Grayling is groomed on Roblox

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Damien Hirst spends an hour studying his morning's debauched hangover shit for 'viability'.

[seepage]

An assistant spends an hour studying Damien Hirst's morning debauched hangover shit for 'viability'.

[petril]

Love the grey gif, definitely adds something 3 the effect

took the best part of 30 years before I realised what he was dialing in that video