Author Topic: DESOLATION_V.swf  (Read 42662 times)

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1230 on: August 09, 2019, 10:30:43 PM »
This very thing nearly happened to me, but I cunningly waited for the vehicle to go past before moving in front of the puddle

It was one of those long puddles. A car graciously slowed down and I didn't get wet. Heard a lorry as I was at the widest bit and with a metal fence to my side thought 'well, that's me fucked' and turned my back. The spray seemed to last a while, once it stopped and I turned round I saw it was towing a fucking bus.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1231 on: August 09, 2019, 10:37:24 PM »
It was one of those long puddles. A car graciously slowed down and I didn't get wet. Heard a lorry as I was at the widest bit and with a metal fence to my side thought 'well, that's me fucked' and turned my back. The spray seemed to last a while, once it stopped and I turned round I saw it was towing a fucking bus.

Ah that is brutal. At least you got a deso post out of it

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1232 on: August 10, 2019, 08:25:09 AM »
A shaolin grandmaster spacks himself fuckways on some adverse camber

Dannyhood91

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1233 on: August 10, 2019, 01:35:50 PM »
Ambitious Hollyoaks reboot.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1234 on: August 10, 2019, 01:37:44 PM »
Forgotten Thomas donates the 2003-2004 batches of his cum to Children in Need

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1235 on: August 10, 2019, 01:40:06 PM »
A plot of disused Batley land tries in vain to kill itself

Dannyhood91

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1236 on: August 10, 2019, 01:41:49 PM »
The first dog to ever talk starts hurling a torrent of unfiltered racial abuse at its 86 year old Somali owner.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1237 on: August 10, 2019, 01:43:18 PM »
The shoddiest shit in the sewer

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1238 on: August 10, 2019, 01:45:35 PM »
the only question asked on Question Time is where the disabled toilet is.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1239 on: August 10, 2019, 02:20:40 PM »
Jeffrey Epstein enjoys his last asphyxiwank.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1240 on: August 10, 2019, 04:22:42 PM »
A woman who broke your heart, pulverised it, starts seeing Piers Morgan.

Lordofthefiles

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1241 on: August 10, 2019, 04:52:24 PM »
No one has ever bothered to ask you what songs you want played at your funeral.

petrilTanaka

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1242 on: August 10, 2019, 07:07:51 PM »
mum puts your phone number on a fetish site

the midnight watch baboon

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1243 on: August 11, 2019, 09:09:17 AM »
Colin's cancers plot to spread to nob, tongue and eye. "It'll be FUN!" coos secret pancreatic.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1244 on: August 11, 2019, 03:17:12 PM »
An algorithm hooks you up with Rose West.

petrilTanaka

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1245 on: August 11, 2019, 08:08:44 PM »
a dating agency refuses to stop trying to set you up with Jimmy Nail

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1246 on: August 12, 2019, 01:31:07 AM »
A drained sac is punted into a canal.

Lordofthefiles

  • A dog with two dicks or a dick with two dogs
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1247 on: August 12, 2019, 09:53:06 AM »
Whilst looking for his lost car keys in a jacket pocket by the front door, Paul discovers a thread belonging to the very fabric of reality has come loose, and he just can't resist giving it a little tug...

Cuellar

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1248 on: August 12, 2019, 10:22:29 AM »
mum puts your phone number on a fetish site

Her own fetish site.

Then calls it.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1249 on: August 12, 2019, 11:49:07 AM »
A slice of wet ham screams as it enters the gnashing gums of 82 year old Bert.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1250 on: August 12, 2019, 03:20:57 PM »
Belsen & Hedges

Berthas Fat Leg

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1251 on: August 12, 2019, 03:40:54 PM »
A guinea pig called Dean is hoofed around a slum.

batwings

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1252 on: August 12, 2019, 04:55:14 PM »
It's hard to be certain when looking through binoculars at night, but it appears that everyone at your school reunion is a pathetic loser.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1253 on: August 12, 2019, 05:49:31 PM »
An obscenely self confessed 'fat cunt' competitive eater files a law suit after he is fired from his day job assessing the integrity of matchboxes on a factory production line. The law suit just says 'body shameing'

petrilTanaka

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1254 on: August 12, 2019, 06:13:49 PM »
A grainy public information film describing what a Mercury phone box is, is discovered

batwings

  • Timewaster seeks same. No timewasters please.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1255 on: August 12, 2019, 06:20:08 PM »
The Time Team relaunch is cancelled after they dig up a bubble-wrapped rape baby.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1256 on: August 12, 2019, 06:39:52 PM »
Tony Robinson peers over the dig site to make sure

'What if... What if we say it's an old one? From the past?'

grassbath

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1257 on: August 12, 2019, 06:51:26 PM »
The 'sexuality' section of West Yorkshire Police's hate crime reporting form has 'a gay' as an option.

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1258 on: August 12, 2019, 08:38:06 PM »
A grainy public information film explaining how to have sex with your mother is discovered. A wide range of male actors was used because of 'diversity'.

Cuntbeaks

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1259 on: August 12, 2019, 09:13:27 PM »
A Facebook obsessed harridan forgets to forward a chain post and is convinced an angel has died as a result. She batters her three year old senseless by way of a penance.

On a Bank Holiday in Stevenage, a microwaved sticky toffee pudding is used successfully as a molten argument ender.

Cider, cider, cider, cider, temazepans, piss.