Author Topic: DESOLATION_V.swf  (Read 40654 times)

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1260 on: August 12, 2019, 10:03:12 PM »
a grainy public information film warning people not to approach Jimmy Nail is discovered

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1261 on: August 12, 2019, 10:18:07 PM »
Brewdog and SuperDry team up. Pseudo japanese t-shirt flavoured beer hits supermarket shelves and sells quite well.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1262 on: August 13, 2019, 06:33:55 PM »
You open the letter:

Quote
Hey,

Let’s get the band back together!

Ian Watkins

FerriswheelBueller

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  • ...and I really do mean that.
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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1263 on: August 13, 2019, 06:42:06 PM »
...and it could be either of them

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1264 on: August 13, 2019, 06:48:14 PM »
...and it could be either of them

Distilled essence of deso.

It’s your son’s birthday. You unwrap the parcel and read the note:

Quote
Happy second birthday!

I think you’ll enjoy this - our first ever single.

Love,
“Uncle” Ian (Watkins)

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1265 on: August 13, 2019, 10:13:48 PM »
an Alan Partridge travelodge opens, missing half the obvious gags

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1266 on: August 13, 2019, 10:19:47 PM »
Your microwave Christmas dinner-for-one gives you botulism.

Berthas Fat Leg

  • The Potato King Won’t Let Me
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1267 on: August 14, 2019, 12:24:14 PM »
She looks like Jim Davidson.

She walks like she’s shat herself.

You’re not fussy.

Twit 2

  • Penske material
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1268 on: August 14, 2019, 01:16:57 PM »
On a trip through Eastern Europe to trace your ancestry, a wrinkled and bent Moldovan hands you a small and fragile box belonging to your maternal great-grandfather. Trembling, you sweep aside the dust and it creaks open to reveal faded photographs of a presumed sweetheart and his pained utterances written in tiny meticulous script. As soon as the hag turns away you bin it down a fucking well.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1269 on: August 14, 2019, 03:46:11 PM »
A guttersnipe tends to the gift shop at Chisinau Museum of Menstruation. 8 years now, no sales. Nothing on sale. No museum.


Twit 2

  • Penske material
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1270 on: August 14, 2019, 04:19:24 PM »
Eking out the piss from your necrotic twanger into a Bridgend urinal to the strains of tinned ABBA.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1271 on: August 14, 2019, 04:23:23 PM »
Fell asleep on a holiday flight. Now flapping madly in the air. The Atlantic Ocean rushes to greet you. Yes, this really is it.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1272 on: August 14, 2019, 04:41:19 PM »
The impact is merciless, as is the drowning. Subsequently, so are the crabs. And you didn't even call in sick, increasing the pressure on your co-workers who will have to to cover for your long-term absence. You arsehole.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1273 on: August 14, 2019, 04:54:08 PM »
An abandoned rapist meets his actual birth mother at a most inopportune moment.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1274 on: August 14, 2019, 06:29:32 PM »
She looks like Jim Davidson.

She walks like she’s shat herself.

You’re not fussy.

She's got... marty feldman eyes.

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1275 on: August 14, 2019, 06:43:06 PM »
THERE'S A GOITER,ON YER DOITER, roars the paediatrician, to Indira's folks, in a Tony & Sopranos accent.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1276 on: August 14, 2019, 06:50:41 PM »
Debating with yourself whether you should wank before or after your final meal.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1277 on: August 14, 2019, 07:15:59 PM »
Why not both?

Twit 2

  • Penske material
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1278 on: August 14, 2019, 09:17:34 PM »
“You’ve been a sod and a disappointment from the second I cunted you out my worry-hole...”

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1279 on: August 14, 2019, 11:23:00 PM »

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1280 on: August 15, 2019, 01:14:13 AM »
Joe 90 is forced to download your personality and history in order to thwart a terrible wrong. Instead, he just blows his fucking head off. BAM. Clean off. Dead. Done. Fucking mince. Joe 90 that you fuckers. Ain't thwartin' nothin' with that. BOOM. Good show though. Apart from that one. I don't know. Nice tune. BAM though. Fuck me what a dead speccy cunt.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1281 on: August 15, 2019, 09:04:12 AM »
The remaining members perform a heartfelt tribute as the first Kersal Massive member is lowered into grave.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1282 on: August 16, 2019, 08:30:48 PM »
If you ever wanted to watch a Leslie Grantham stunt double pub-racist rape a rotund pensioner to death now's your chance live on FreeSports.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1283 on: August 17, 2019, 02:35:15 AM »
The victims of Epstein decide they do want him put in the chair—anyway.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1284 on: August 17, 2019, 12:24:12 PM »
The victims of Epstein decide they do want him put in the chair—anyway.

"Justice!" in Buzz Aldrin drawl...

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1285 on: August 17, 2019, 10:28:02 PM »
Alan Parry introduces events in a sombre whisper

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1286 on: August 18, 2019, 12:41:45 AM »
Jodie comer thread (new)

I wish I was raped by Katy Perry,  the balance of old timey sex teasing has been disturbed (new)

Sick of all the screaming women on my street (new)

Lol child sex trafficees are slugs only joking hahaha (new)

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1287 on: August 18, 2019, 12:45:45 AM »
Dwyane Johnson kisses a chicken in a tacky underground temple.

The reanimated penis and brain of Jeff epstein nods benevolently. A gaudy painting of Katy Perry pegging Steven Hawkins looks on helplessly


Lordofthefiles

  • A dog with two dicks or a dick with two dogs
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1288 on: August 18, 2019, 09:31:19 AM »
Rupert Murdoch remembers his real name is "Keith" and promptly loses all respect for himself.

jenna appleseed

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1289 on: August 19, 2019, 12:39:36 AM »
Throwing a slug out of your front door at 2 o'clock in the morning.

The abandoned washing machine makes friends with a shopping trolley.