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DESOLATION_V.swf

Started by PlanktonSideburns, January 25, 2019, 03:25:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Fishfinger

A mutual 2 stars on RapeAdvisor.

pancreas

But grandfather, I am doing my homework!

Hither! Or I shall have you savaged by the ravens. Now, boy ... plait my toes.

PlanktonSideburns

A clinically depressed dwarf is told to stop being so Quasi-Mauldlin by a well meaning, but subconsciously hateful Co worker

touchingcloth

When it comes to her turn, Jessica announces to the rest of the reception class that what she wants to be when she grows up is "a MILF".

batwings

Pat Sharp's stalker calls it a day.

Your Ian Huntely as Mr Griffiths schtick gets a poor reception at your niece's wake.

The coroner records your cause of death as simply: 'Lifelong Twat'.


Ferris

Your best man's speech includes Family Guy impersonations

touchingcloth

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on August 26, 2019, 12:26:21 PM
Your best man's speech includes Family Guy impersonations

Your speech while acting as a best man, or the speech of the best man at your wedding? Both equally deso, I just wanted to clarify which you had in mind.

Ferris

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 26, 2019, 12:35:14 PM
Your speech while acting as a best man, or the speech of the best man at your wedding? Both equally deso, I just wanted to clarify which you had in mind.

The one performed by a third party for your nuptials, though I did notice the double meaning when typing and left it intentionally vague to capitalize on both scenarios. Pro-deso move.

the midnight watch baboon

The Big Bang Theory theme choon soundtracks both Pip and Ollie's first dance and Ollie's subsequent funeral.

Stoneage Dinosaurs

A T-Shirt printing company in Wisbech receives a single order for 'KING OF THE INCELS'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Then an email 2 minutes before processing going

'Actually scratch that: KINGCEL'

touchingcloth

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on August 26, 2019, 12:41:01 PM
The one performed by a third party for your nuptials, though I did notice the double meaning when typing and left it intentionally vague to capitalize on both scenarios. Pro-deso move.

Double deso - noiche.

touchingcloth

The year is 2041, and Richard Herring meets with the people in charge of the final vestiges of the BBC to pitch an idea for a show: "it's about a motorcycle clothing shop".

dex

Ricky Gervais' high pitched cackle on a loop mixed with Coldplay's Fix You.

touchingcloth

Quote from: dex on August 26, 2019, 08:21:10 PM
Ricky Gervais' high pitched cackle on a loop mixed with Coldplay's Fix You.

I hope someone has made a start on creating this already.

Cold Meat Platter

President Lars Ulrich photo'd flicking the horns with Kim Jong Un

Dannyhood91

Ricky Gervais takes a prostitute back to his hotel and do a pretend commentary for his latest stand up. Then he makes her wear a Ricky Gervais mask so he can make sad, flabby uncomfortable love to her.

touchingcloth

Youth center worker Stanley Burrell owns a pair of magical dancing shoes (which are alive and can speak), which when worn cause Burrell to transform into the superhero Paedoman

buttgammon

Lock up your socks - the wankers are back in town.

batwings

Choking to death on a furry winegum found down the side of the armchair while your dog looks on, indifferent.

The proceeds from the sale of a collection of soiled sponges are used by an OAP retirement home employee to purchase a Japanese Spiderman jigsaw off Ebay.

Cliff Michelmore's former dermatologist has a prolongued and harrowing encounter with the unblinking emptiness at the heart of everything.

petril

a charity shop is put up for sale inside a rival charity shop for maximum embarrassment

touchingcloth

Ricky Gervais and Ricky Martin but their lives are swapped. Gervais' face singing "upside, inside out, livin la vida a ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa".


derek stitt

Your car fails it's  M.O.T test on mental health grounds.

Fishfinger

Been a wet and windy few days camping near Penzance. Made the most if it though. Sand castles of human shite and Netflix.

derek stitt

Quote from: derek stitt on August 31, 2019, 06:17:27 PM
Your car fails it's  M.O.T test on mental health grounds.

Should have written, Herbie fails it's M.O.T on mental health grounds.

A Krankies sex tape is leaked

touchingcloth

A Father's Day card from your unborn foetus.

A Father's Day card from your ventilated baby.

A Father's Day card from your stillborn son.

A Father's Day card from your abortion practitioner.


petril

A Father's Day card from Gary. Every year.

touchingcloth

Quote from: petrilTanaka on September 02, 2019, 10:33:38 PM
A Father's Day card from Gary. Every year.

From Gary, to your son.

the midnight watch baboon

A Peeping Tom forgets his glasses.