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DESOLATION_V.swf

Started by PlanktonSideburns, January 25, 2019, 03:25:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

jenna appleseed

eta: new page quote for context
Quote from: the midnight watch baboon on September 02, 2019, 11:09:22 PM
A Peeping Tom forgets his glasses.

That episode of The Twilight Zone is re-made but instead of books it's a giant pile of jizz mags and the reason he's fucked without his glasses is because of all the wanking.

H-O-W-L

Found dead in tube toilet after falling in puddle of piss.

derek stitt

A nonce excuses his frequent sex tourism trips to Cambodia as that of an employer giving the kiddies work experience.

derek stitt

Boris Johnson has mong strength

Boris Johnson elected as P.M. on the back of the slogan, ' Giving Britain mong strength'.

jenna appleseed

reading this forum out of context makes us seem like the worst people ever.

jenna appleseed

#1355
being relieved I'm living back at home so I don't have to explain to a carer of a man with Down's Syndrome and dementia why I'm laughing at the phrase "mong strength".

eta: it was bad enough at the time having to remember not to describe myself as experiencing temporary brainwrong.

eta2: and not blurting anything massively inappropriate out about him being called Walter (& having a tendency to wander too).


jenna appleseed

the guy I've posted about elsewhere as 'so an so's a troll, better to ignore them' , just liked that post.


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: derek stitt on August 31, 2019, 06:17:27 PM
Your car fails it's  M.O.T test on mental health grounds.

Fantastic, laughed

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: derek stitt on September 04, 2019, 04:15:00 PM
Boris Johnson has mong strength

Boris Johnson elected as P.M. on the back of the slogan, ' Giving Britain mong strength'.

Massive laugh

jenna appleseed

accidentally using the quote "not literally, that'll be horrible" in real life offline conversation.

touchingcloth

Richard tells his Tinder date that he's a better feminist than most women.

touchingcloth

Bucket List, by Rod (57 and a 1/2)

  • Obtain girlfriend
  • Take girlfriend to living statue event
  • Finish bucket list

touchingcloth

#1362
Bucket list by Howie (63)

  • For once in my life do something cooler than Rod
  • Write a better bucket list than Rod

Shoulders?-Stomach!

An eBay advert for a second hand picture frame confesses to the item featuring 'traces of Smegma which will most likely never really wash out'

petril

Bucket List by Mark Lamarr

  • goad folk into bringing up the silver man so that it really can end up custodial
  • put on that East 17 concert he always dreamed of
  • lifetime supply of Quavers

touchingcloth


Cold Meat Platter

A baldness wonder drug is developed that gives Ian Duncan Smith the hair of a 1969 Robert Plant but you just get more pubes.

pancreas

Billy Bragg, booked for the funeral of humanity, 1st April 2029.

touchingcloth

The pub quiz tie break question is "to the nearest 10, what will the final death toll of Dorian in the Bahamas be?"

The teams anxiously wait for the next six weeks before the winner is revealed.

the midnight watch baboon

Tom comes through on his promise to cum inside every "wife, bap, and USB port" in "Tad."

touchingcloth


petril

Quote from: touchingcloth on September 07, 2019, 05:40:25 PM
Garlic.















As a surname.

marrying someone called Bread. going double barrelled, right?

Lordofthefiles

In spite of everything the nation narrowly votes in a Conservative government once more.

the midnight watch baboon

Recycling day, Wigan. Paul's garden waste bin is rejected, because of the hand.

Ferris

Have I Got News For You season 86, guest hosted by long-term beloved former prime minister Boris "Lionheart" Johnson.

dex

The copper taken ill while standing to attention in the sun while awaiting the Prime Minister? All planned to make them docile, weak and RIPE!

Fishfinger

The sneaking suspicion that you're just a skull on a stick becomes an objective fact.

Fishfinger

Dominic Cummings visits a prostitute and presents a printed list of his demands. A cursory glance fills her with such mortal dread she dives headlong through a closed window. Expressionless, he climbs out after her and spiders his way down the wall to her spreadeagled and bloody corpse. "There are," he intones, "also instructions on the back."

batwings

You couldn't even losing your virginity with a comet coming.

A spunk-encrusted Sweep found wedged down the side of a sofa bought from Mathew Carpenter. Eyes are missing.



Cold Meat Platter

You are told by your doctor that AIDS now has you.