DESOLATION_V.swf

[Fishfinger]

A power hose cleanses the remains of a cyclist from a fine bike found in a country ditch.

[Fishfinger]

Following a depressurisation incident, Flight 8234 earns an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the "loftiest projectile ever filled with soup."

[petril]

Lionel Messi conducts an experiment on a wet Tuesday night in Stoke, which fails

[pancreas]

A paedophile ring gets in some non-disabled kids to improve the optics.

[Cold Meat Platter]

"Welcome to HospiceWatch with me, Jim Davidson."

[pancreas]

"And we'll be handing over to Noel for Grave or No Grave in just under 15 minutes"

[batwings]

Smiling like someone with the keys to the coma ward.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Tom from Keane dunks a broken pink wafer into a dirty glass of flat Soda-Stream cola

[the midnight watch baboon]

Montell Jordan considers donating £339.10 to the expenses account of Robbie Fowler's property company.

[touchingcloth]

A paedophile ring gets in some non-disabled kids to improve the optics.

A paedophile's ring is tongued by a paraplege and he thinks to fuck with the optics.

[Twit 2]

You have your dead sister repatriated, solely to weigh down a fluttering tarpaulin in your side garden.

[GMTV]

You spend significantly more time producing your youtube videos than is cumulatively spent watching them.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

After being aggressively targeted with impotence cures online, and meticulously marking them all as irrelevant for 25 potent years, the target of the adverts then becomes chronically floppy.

However, in his time of need and after frantic obsessive searching no-one will now come to his aid (especially not since Mars® took over the NHS contract in 2031)

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You have your dead sister repatriated, solely to weigh down a fluttering tarpaulin in your side garden.

This is funny

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A lucid dreaming enthusiast breaks new ground with the level of vividity and realism as his subconscious conjures a near simulcra experience of his rape and battery in a car park attendant's kiosk in 1995.

[petril]

a far right conspiracy nut talk radio show host laughs as he showers himself with $100 bills, all donated from the sort of cunts who would phone him up on air and at home fifteen years ago to bully him.

"it fucking worked," he sighs happily

[NJ Uncut]

A nonce ring jokily refer to the possibility of being jailed for sexually abusing a minor as 'hashtag cancelled'

[NJ Uncut]

A rival nonce takes the credit for a video you shot anonymously and adds the star to his tally.

[NJ Uncut]

You get called a total nonce by some kids in the street, to the objection of an actual passing paedophile who, upon checking you out, has never been more offended and refuses the comparison, loudly proclaiming you a "wannabe"

[NJ Uncut]

Global Climate Strike - 11am Friday 20th September, Chester Town Hall (meet by the elephant outside Barclay Bank. Bring whatever flags / banners you have. Speakers are arranged, not sure what else the students have planned. The normal chant is "What do we want – Climate Justice, When do we want it – Now"

XR International Rebellion 7th to 19th October, Nine people from the group are going. Fantastic !!!! The Actions working group will co-ordinate.

From my Reality Series

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Gordon's is a club in Pontefract established, according to the owner anyway, in order for 'retards to have sex'.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A gravegender sapiasexual expels heimliched chicken bone all over a stunted jovo and his flimsy book stand.

[batwings]

A minibus carrying a netball team plunges into an icy river.

A local undertaker puts down this month's Grave Digger and rubs his hands together.

Whistling, the coroner buys extra lube.

Every cloud.

[rasta-spouse]

Joe Rogan and Dan Ackroyd talk for another hour.

[the midnight watch baboon]

A sex act between traffic wardens.

[petril]

enter code COLIN for access

[touchingcloth]

After you trip to death, the dog growls ineffectually as the cat takes the first bite.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You seek marriage counseling and it's from The Mask

[Lordofthefiles]

You seek marriage counseling and it's from The Mask

"Hi, come in, have a seat."

[Captain Poodle Basher]

A real life one from earlier.

A blind man stands in the rain completely at a loss as to why his guide dog has stopped as said faithful companion is busily eating some dropped scraps of meat.