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DESOLATION_V.swf

Started by PlanktonSideburns, January 25, 2019, 03:25:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Gregory Torso

The moon shines like a cop's badge on the face of a french canadian fur trapper caught in his own snare and getting forcibly sucked off by a porcupine.

Gregory Torso

A playground surveyor accidentally gets an eyeful of child followed closely by a storm of beatings from the sight-activated dad sentries.

pancreas

Mary Berry's COMPLETE Guide to Urinal Cakes. £29.99 Waterstones. (Hardback)

Cuellar

Quote from: pancreas on November 08, 2019, 12:26:38 AM
The picture round on University Challenge is about types of doggo.

After thrashing the Royal Agricultural College 430 points to -50, Paxman congratulates Magdalen College Oxford on a 'lit' performance.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: pancreas on November 08, 2019, 12:26:38 AM
The picture round on University Challenge is about types of doggo.

I laughed

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The BBC Television Centre canteen vows to put a stop to 'lezzers'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

After being poisoned by, in their own words 'some Asians', Alistair and Jonny Brownlee compete in a triathlon based on puking, shitting and pissing.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 09, 2019, 05:41:57 AM
The BBC Television Centre canteen vows to put a stop to 'lezzers'.

Its working, Steph's moving to C4

Dannyhood91

Paying £10 to have a massive brain injury man FaceTime you and explain the plot of Jungle 2 Jungle until you fall asleep

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A perspiring oblong is politely directed into a car crusher

Twit 2

You awake to an operating theatre watched by braying insects: you raise the scalpel with hands revealed as meat, and perform on a screaming spider.

Twit 2

Barry claims he's invented a fart tube, but it's just "guffing on a cushion."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Rees Mogg turns his critical eye on the decision making of the 6 year old kids of Beslan.

Fucking retard cunts. I'd have got out, he thinks.

buttgammon

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on November 10, 2019, 08:54:17 AM
Rees Mogg turns his critical eye on the decision making of the 6 year old kids of Beslan.

Fucking retard cunts. I'd have got out, he thinks.

He repeats this out loud in a party election broadcast, indirectly delivering the Tories a 250-seat majority.

Ferris

You leak your own sex tape to a disinterested public.

touchingcloth

Your dad gets obsessed with Marsellus Wallace. He asks you why you can't be more like Marsellus Wallace, he goes to dinner with your mum and says "what you rate Marsellus Wallace would think to this burger?", he rents a gimp.

Dannyhood91

Boris Johnson signs in to a fetish website under the username Porridge_Mong

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The up button for a lift is smeared in an assailant's gloy

pancreas

Michael celebrates his new job by getting a Corgi trouser press and then electrocutes himself to death somehow while plugging it in.

Dannyhood91

Jacob Rees Moggs son, while wearing a little top hat, has a tantrum over the prostitute his dad got him for his 16th birthday because he didn't want a black one.

petril

Quote from: Dannyhood91 on November 10, 2019, 07:38:19 PM
Jacob Rees Moggs son, while wearing a little top hat, has a tantrum over the prostitute his dad got him for his 16th birthday because he didn't want a black one.

the family calm him down with a face value round of Send The Buggers Back

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A doomed nougat factory tries to segue into the prosthetics market

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The Garden of Gethsemane is characterised as 'residing at the apex of all that is mind-numbing torturous wank' by Jesus the Christ

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A sat nav responds to input with 'OK Boomer'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The girls from Sister Sister water down the gruel a tad at their Balinese wood whittling sweatshop. Profits rise.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Fiona Bruce pens her latest stalking letter in used tampon.

The victim writes back in vom.

'Result', she mutters. 'Fucking result!'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A huddle of ghasts hear through a rusty old speaker on a disused athletics track that days have actually permanently gone.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Mechanical sentience is created for the first time in the universe after a fleshlight withdraws consent from the fust wand of Barry the Goblin

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A heatpack called 'Well Jel' enters the tone down market by storm only to be fucked down the rectum of history by 'Legend of Gelda', Unilever's all-new yet terminally brutal corporate sobriquet.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A Chemical Brother needs to do toilet