Author Topic: DESOLATION_V.swf  (Read 121201 times)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1830 on: November 11, 2019, 05:43:47 AM »
Seal throws a chalice of activated water at a disliked fosse.

Take that, fosse cunt

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1831 on: November 11, 2019, 05:46:14 AM »
A new ambulance tracker app refers to ambulances as 'blarey bois' and caveats arrival times with 'Guesstimate tbh'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1832 on: November 11, 2019, 05:51:19 AM »
Aid Worker Gary para-drops flecks of smegma over the outstretched arms of war orphans on the hills and valleys of Mozambique.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1833 on: November 11, 2019, 05:54:16 AM »
The crippled but sentient billionaire Wotal Swacker announces to a crowd of 1 pigeon that his new football team Jeunesse Esch of Luxembourg are going to become 'much more about fascism now'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1834 on: November 11, 2019, 05:58:19 AM »
Mavis Beacon's typing fortune and cunt have dried up so she's down to dog food now.

Hang on, she thinks. I'm a thickie. This shit's a natural lubricant.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1835 on: November 11, 2019, 05:59:20 AM »
Mike Gapes attracts wasps

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1836 on: November 11, 2019, 06:08:53 AM »
A man gets in the bin along with the thing he was throwing away.

Dannyhood91

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1837 on: November 11, 2019, 01:07:17 PM »
Jeremy Vine gets lip fillers

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1838 on: November 11, 2019, 01:11:44 PM »
Adam Woodyatt treated for shock after being told he “came from an egg” during filming for a new series of Who Do You Think You Are?”

pancreas

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1839 on: November 11, 2019, 02:31:04 PM »
An abortion climbs up the plughole and starts growing in your bath.

Dannyhood91

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1840 on: November 11, 2019, 04:39:33 PM »
Paul having 5 kilograms of bus surgically removed from his brain

NJ Uncut

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1841 on: November 11, 2019, 04:44:52 PM »
Your one night stand wakes up in the morning next to you and tearfully admits the only reason they even went through with it was because you're such a dead ringer for Junior, from Fraggle Rock, only the cold light of day makes them realise you're more of a Marjory

NJ Uncut

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1842 on: November 11, 2019, 04:47:59 PM »
The woman behind you on the bus is kicking off on the phone about needing to sue the NHS for discrimination because they asked her not to loudly criticise staff

From my Live Blog

seepage

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1843 on: November 12, 2019, 09:35:25 AM »
an art student makes a quick $25K by selling 'OK Boomer' t-shirts

Dannyhood91

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1844 on: November 12, 2019, 11:49:48 AM »
Breaking up with your wife via morse code

Lordofthefiles

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1845 on: November 12, 2019, 12:55:44 PM »
23 dead bodies are discovered in the back of the Coca Cola Christmas Truck

Lordofthefiles

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1846 on: November 12, 2019, 01:13:48 PM »
The silicone “opening” of your Special Edition Moira Stuart Fleshlight has perished.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1847 on: November 12, 2019, 03:33:48 PM »
a TikTok micro-rapper called TINY STARK EMBRYO wins a Grammy for a five second song called "baby ur a wookie ass looking arse bitch (fuck this)"

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1848 on: November 12, 2019, 03:35:37 PM »
Bernard Matthews' eldest biological child razes a children's petting zoo to the ground with a flame thrower, absolute scorched earth chief, nil animals remaining, on father's day.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1849 on: November 12, 2019, 03:38:29 PM »
a Tippex and Haribo sourmix sandwich.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1850 on: November 12, 2019, 03:55:34 PM »
An Eskimo version of Terry and June is cancelled after one episode.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1851 on: November 12, 2019, 07:41:20 PM »
A paedophilia rehabilitation clinic that rehabilitates Paedophiles from being unsuccessful depressed Paedophiles to become highly successful socially active paedophiles again.

petrilTanaka

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1852 on: November 12, 2019, 09:13:56 PM »
An Escrima version of Terry And June is cancelled after being panned as a "One Dimensional Bottom"

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1853 on: November 12, 2019, 09:37:41 PM »
You find the only way you can achieve orgasm is by fucking a tin of all-day breakfast.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1854 on: November 12, 2019, 11:06:11 PM »
All day breakfast from a tin is the last thing you eat before going over the top.

You go over by the top and see the sign saying No Man’s Land, and say to yourself not all me before a bullet slices through your helmet and brain.

Twit 2

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1855 on: November 13, 2019, 12:02:10 AM »
- Hi Jon!
- Hi Terry!
- Is your arsehole old and wrinkled?
- Yes.
- Loom near me until death, then.
- Ok.
- Cheers

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1856 on: November 13, 2019, 12:25:24 AM »
- Hi Jon!
- Hi Terry!
- Is your arsehole old and wrinkled?
- Yes.
- Loom near me until death, then.
- Ok.
- Cheers

The other residents of the ward move away from John Terry as he mumbles away to himself.

Dannyhood91

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1857 on: November 13, 2019, 11:26:32 AM »
I’d like a water sandwich please

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1858 on: November 13, 2019, 02:58:29 PM »
Your Freshers’ Night entertainment is provided by Two: Us - the country’s (but not the world’s) only tribute act to the Chuckle Brothers.

Chollis

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1859 on: November 13, 2019, 03:16:37 PM »
Toady from Neighbours loses all motor control permanently

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