Author Topic: DESOLATION_V.swf  (Read 121186 times)

chveik

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1860 on: November 13, 2019, 03:20:27 PM »
Mike Gapes gives you the right horn

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1861 on: November 13, 2019, 03:24:48 PM »
A 'faith space' in a post-1992 university is used to host the AGM of the Cock Smelling Club.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1862 on: November 13, 2019, 03:39:01 PM »
A Jehovah's Witness knocks on your door and you become quite taken with their point of view.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1863 on: November 13, 2019, 03:39:38 PM »
You renounce your faith in Islam to focus instead on "only wanking".

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1864 on: November 13, 2019, 04:52:58 PM »
a football club secretary tries in vain to argue that an opposing player is his own brother and thus ineligible.

he's not and the 2-1 mid-table win stands.

the argument continues

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1865 on: November 14, 2019, 03:30:08 AM »
After your latest bout of sock noncery your usual post-cum shame is compounded once you start removing fluff from your helm.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1866 on: November 14, 2019, 07:15:04 PM »
“Prince” Andrew pushes his snout to the ear of the teenager he has paid for and whispers “yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he is going to have you.”

Twit 2

  • Thank God for the hatchery
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1867 on: November 15, 2019, 07:12:55 AM »
Fiona Bruce pens her latest stalking letter in used tampon.

The victim writes back in vom.

'Result', she mutters. 'Fucking result!'

A huddle of ghasts hear through a rusty old speaker on a disused athletics track that days have actually permanently gone.

A heatpack called 'Well Jel' enters the tone down market by storm only to be fucked down the rectum of history by 'Legend of Gelda', Unilever's all-new yet terminally brutal corporate sobriquet.

A Chemical Brother needs to do toilet

A new ambulance tracker app refers to ambulances as 'blarey bois' and caveats arrival times with 'Guesstimate tbh'

I laughed at these.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1868 on: November 15, 2019, 11:22:12 AM »
A charmless man masturbates into a rolled up ISA certificate.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1869 on: November 15, 2019, 11:30:40 AM »
A bog dweller whose pastime is to felt tip rats announces a manifesto that is 'both radical and pragmatic'.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1870 on: November 15, 2019, 09:23:40 PM »
Your school bullies? Millionaires.

Twit 2

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1871 on: November 16, 2019, 07:05:38 PM »
Nigel Farage fucks a cat.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1872 on: November 16, 2019, 07:08:36 PM »
A cheeky nandos claims 4 lives.

Cuntbeaks

  • Where you fay?
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1873 on: November 17, 2019, 04:57:16 AM »
A man comes up on acid to an episode of "The Sweeney".

At the height of acid trip someone plays "Sex on fire" by The Kings of Leon.

Coming down off an acid trip on the bus to work.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1874 on: November 17, 2019, 07:45:50 AM »
You win the lottery but when the balls pop out they are numberless and blank, and when you turn around the scenery has disappeared leaving only an endless off grey horizon which will accompany you for eternity.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1875 on: November 17, 2019, 01:35:53 PM »
The sole* present under the tree for you is a selection box of seafood* pastes.


*Not a pun.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1876 on: November 17, 2019, 01:49:08 PM »
An employee from Camelot with a huge cheque made out to you and you only seems to dissolve.

Dannyhood91

  • I thought you said KING AAARTHUUUR!
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1877 on: November 17, 2019, 04:45:36 PM »
An EDL supporter brings his Desmonds DVD into court to prove he’s not racist.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2019, 07:30:46 PM by Dannyhood91 »

seepage

  • logical bassoon
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1878 on: November 17, 2019, 05:45:37 PM »
The sole* present under the tree for you is a selection box of seafood* pastes.


*Not a pun.

what happened to the Euphoria thread?

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1879 on: November 18, 2019, 02:40:47 PM »
You migrate the memorial for your stillborn son from GeoCities to Wix.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1880 on: November 18, 2019, 09:46:45 PM »
crossover:

someone else gets a phonecall from what is obviously John Culshaw's Tom Baker voice

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1881 on: November 20, 2019, 01:43:44 PM »
A greying man fashions a noose out of his own anus. Anoose, he laughs. Then there is nothing.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1882 on: November 23, 2019, 07:59:33 AM »
H from Steps acquires a map showing the locations of every landmine in Angola.

'Just keep this under lock and key, I reckon'

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1883 on: November 23, 2019, 01:47:23 PM »
You dedicate a cheeseburger to your nan’s memory.

Angrew Lloyg Wegger

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1884 on: November 23, 2019, 05:17:00 PM »
A 29 year old moustache-waxed contrarian sneers, just loud enough to be audible, at the tube passengers alighting at King's Cross, the unadventurous plebs. As the train pulls into Aldgate East, he departs the carriage and grins, safe and secure in the knowledge of his own superiority as someone who only boards and exits at obscure, non-mainstream stations. He is alone.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1885 on: November 23, 2019, 07:50:17 PM »
The Queen dies during the launch of HMS Scatman John, a rubber dinghy bought from Argos.

the midnight watch baboon

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1886 on: November 24, 2019, 12:00:39 AM »
"I bet they're pink," shouts the solicitor to the released child.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1887 on: November 24, 2019, 05:09:48 AM »
The Queen dies during the launch of HMS Scatman John, a rubber dinghy bought from Argos.

Pure laugh

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1888 on: November 24, 2019, 05:10:56 AM »
You dedicate a cheeseburger to your nan’s memory.

You dedicate a cheeseburger to your mum's nunny.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1889 on: November 24, 2019, 02:19:04 PM »
You die and are informed that you will now be re-routed back through time to live as Paul Ross's wife.

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