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DESOLATION_V.swf

Started by PlanktonSideburns, January 25, 2019, 03:25:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Spoon of Ploff

A plate of chilli peppers as an art installation.

Chollis

The mangled corpses of Rosie and Jim are dredged up from Grantham canal

Chollis

Creative differences lead to Dick and Dom being locked in da bungalow and gassed to death

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A crematorium operator receives a final plea: No, no, we changed our minds, we don't want to burn her!

The corner of his lips moves upwards. Too late now. Way too late now.

'Start the conveyor!'

Chollis


Ferris


Ferris

"You lost 'em, we defrost 'em"

Cuntbeaks

Tanita Tikaram snaps and cunt-stamps an incontinent pug into a red mess.

petril

four hours of a social gathering are wasted because a guy from New Zealand is there and everyone keeps pronouncing ten as "tin". he leaves an hour in.

Twit 2

Gordon Ramsay flays a chased marmoset and grills it to spite his kids.

Clare Runacres cackles bad tidings through a baguette.

Your boss says you're being replaced by voles.

A registered sex offender fucks a tick in a box.

Your pond fills slowly with death and shite. Man from the council comes round on a routine turds inspection, craps and dies in it. You do the same, "because I was curious."

Cerys

It isn't Thursday, realises Clive.  He doesn't know why he's surprised.  It's never Thursday when he needs it to be.  Never.

poo

Surgeon comes to meet you before your bypass op and it's Jimmy White.

Cerys

Surgeon comes to meet you before your op to remove a cue ball from your colon and it's Stephen Hendry, armed with an unchalked cue and an ominous grin.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Sturgeon comes to meet you and while fixing you with her gaze reaches down your trousers and manipulates your balls.

petril

Quote from: Cerys on November 26, 2019, 08:09:42 AM
Surgeon comes to meet you before your op to remove a cue ball from your colon and it's Stephen Hendry, armed with an unchalked cue and an ominous grin.

the surgery is branded The Clydeside Classic

Ferris

Your parents proudly announce they are voting Lib Dem.

poo

An inverted penis can only be coaxed out by playing Vengaboys.

Norton Canes

Steve kicks a sick thrush into a hedge

Cuellar

Due to an "administrative error" you are cremated to I Monster's 'Daydream in Blue'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A man whose job it is to stand on a street shouting FRESH COFFEES is turned into pellets.

poo

Ashley Giles angrily counts the dog turds in a public park then does nothing with the information.

rasta-spouse

A canal boat holiday is spoiled by rape jokes.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Shoulders?-Stomach!

5 conniving call girls
4 guilty greengrocers
3 foetid freegans
2 mouthy mommas

... 1 WACKY MOVIE!!!!

the midnight watch baboon

Terry is downgraded from 'vegetable' to 'husk.'

jenna appleseed

Hammy the Hamster writes a letter back to Boris asking to be let off the hamster wheel of doom.

touchingcloth

Your dating website claims to be a keen hiker unravel when you take your date on a five hour drive looking for the Liverpool Care Pathway.

Cerys

Cerys has her disability benefits slashed just in time for Christmas.

touchingcloth

Cerys has her wheelchair slashed on just in time for Christmas.

Cerys