Author Topic: DESOLATION_V.swf  (Read 125050 times)

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1920 on: November 28, 2019, 03:01:28 PM »
its Christmas morning and young Sharon excitedly opens the last door on her Advent Calendar. There's nothing inside but a piece of paper with the word Bitch scrawled on it, exactly like the previous 24 days.

Cuellar

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1921 on: November 28, 2019, 06:51:59 PM »
"But everything you've been through, has it made you a stronger person?"
"No"

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1922 on: November 28, 2019, 08:09:17 PM »
Your advent calendar has a different compost sampler behind each window.

jenna appleseed

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1923 on: November 28, 2019, 09:12:11 PM »
Your advent calendar has a different compost sampler behind each window.

That's not compost.

eta: it might be brown, but it's also not chocolate.

Might've once been chocolate though.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1924 on: November 28, 2019, 09:34:17 PM »
An SJW contacts their MP about the moral outrage of upskirting trees.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1925 on: November 28, 2019, 09:41:58 PM »
You approach the counter of Gregg’s and ask if their sausage rolls come “in clods”.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1926 on: November 28, 2019, 09:50:53 PM »
Sean Paul is accidentally booked into Seaworld as "Seal Paul" and is forced to spend nearly an hour in a tight rubber wetsuit, clapping for sardines and occasionally trying to scream "I am a dancehall toaster" through mouthfuls of saltwater.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1927 on: November 29, 2019, 01:18:59 PM »

Your unbridled nostalgia for Lyons Maid Ice Cream becomes a gateway to swallowing Navy cum.

Twit 2

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1928 on: November 29, 2019, 07:06:47 PM »
Legend Gary gains a phd in zoology at the University of Stoke and reclassifies himself from the phylum Platyhelminthes to Garybelminthes.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1929 on: November 29, 2019, 07:30:39 PM »
Unhappy with the default Wordpress themes, you hire a top tier web developer to design your site which ranks condiment sachets.

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1930 on: November 29, 2019, 07:44:37 PM »
The local butcher puts up a chalkboard: “trending now: #liver”

petrilTanaka

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1931 on: November 29, 2019, 09:44:29 PM »
a Motormouth theme pub

Cuellar

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1932 on: November 29, 2019, 10:05:29 PM »
Dog in a bin, fucked inside out

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1933 on: November 30, 2019, 01:16:44 AM »
You realize you’ve read every thread on HS Art.

Cerys

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1934 on: November 30, 2019, 01:28:26 AM »
You realise you started every thread on HS Art.

chveik

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1935 on: November 30, 2019, 02:39:06 AM »
You realise you are Legend Gary.

petrilTanaka

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1936 on: November 30, 2019, 09:33:18 AM »
You realise you've killed every thread on H.S. Art

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1937 on: November 30, 2019, 05:23:26 PM »
A Monmouth theme pub

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1938 on: November 30, 2019, 05:49:18 PM »
Your wedding day is ruined by Peter Stringfellow's ghost which swoops round and round the hired marquee, cackling and shrieking "give her one from me", his hair trailing like a shredded mitten.

Twit 2

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1939 on: November 30, 2019, 08:19:25 PM »
An uncle kicks a potato dauphinois across his patio because of Brexit.

pancreas

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1940 on: December 01, 2019, 02:15:29 AM »
IKEA sends you a letter from their lawyers asking you to blur their lamp out of your snuff film.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1941 on: December 01, 2019, 08:17:08 AM »
Gunther von Hagens positions your plastinated husk to be doing 'hover hands' over someone's circulatory system tit outlines.

He pauses. ''Gunther von Ha-ha gens more like. Love it. I am the king.''


BlodwynPig

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1942 on: December 01, 2019, 12:41:57 PM »
Your mate invites you round for a world cup party... stella on top, non-stop Pringles...proper job

Algeria 0-0 England rewatch on grainy russian torrent

“Dont have license for terrestrial, mate”

touchingcloth

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1943 on: December 01, 2019, 12:59:10 PM »
Who or what was Stella on top of?

BlodwynPig

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1944 on: December 01, 2019, 01:10:23 PM »
Train posting deso

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1945 on: December 01, 2019, 01:56:13 PM »
A pledge to build 40 new nurses proves to be just 6, who are currently "spaffed up."

buttgammon

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1946 on: December 01, 2019, 08:35:53 PM »
An Only Connect team shows up to filming dressed as the autism spectrum. Nobody notices that they're in fancy dress.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1947 on: December 02, 2019, 11:38:35 AM »
Danny Dyer in a remake of Escape from Sobibor

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1948 on: December 02, 2019, 12:23:20 PM »
A thousand year old oak is cut down to make Lib Dem pamphlets.

BlodwynPig

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Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #1949 on: December 02, 2019, 02:25:32 PM »
You dont even win a prize in the town Desolation awards

The deso lads are drinking their winnings as you stare in from the cold

Wahayyyy, we’re the Deso Lads on tour. You’re stuck in traffic on the A125, they’re in Magaluf, balls deep

Postcard from the Deso Lads “we’re not deso now”

The Deso Deity deems Deso ‘yesterday’s news’.

You are anointed sub-deso irrelevant. Not even that, its only your mind doing that.

My mind

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