Author Topic: DESOLATION_V.swf  (Read 119252 times)

Cuntbeaks

  • Where you fay?
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2010 on: December 12, 2019, 06:47:59 PM »
A child with profound Locked In Syndrome is terrified of dogs. Terror that surrounds him, suffocating him to the point of death...but not quite.

They bring the dog every, fucking, day.

"Look, he twitched" they say as the pug licks and drools on his face. "He likes it"

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2011 on: December 13, 2019, 07:07:43 AM »
Today

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2012 on: December 13, 2019, 08:10:40 AM »
Today

is the first day of the rest of your life.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Mr Moose is up! It's done done done!
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2013 on: December 13, 2019, 04:48:31 PM »
is the first day of the rest of your life.

Uh Oh.

grassbath

  • I suppose I'm glad I'm on this train
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2014 on: December 14, 2019, 11:50:08 AM »
The Point eludes you totally. You search in vain while it hikes on Mars with a picnic hamper.

grassbath

  • I suppose I'm glad I'm on this train
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2015 on: December 14, 2019, 12:05:30 PM »
You wank out one giant spermatozoon. It lashes about on your bedsheets like an adder. You chase it into the kitchen and kill it with a rolled up Metro.

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Take it easy, but take it.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2016 on: December 14, 2019, 12:48:42 PM »
Graham Linehan compliments your social media output.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2017 on: December 14, 2019, 01:48:52 PM »
Graham Linehan's wife starts on the testosterone to escape. Desolation for him.

Cerys

  • Bionic-Arsed
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Cyber Engineered Ravaged Yakking System
    • The Brainwrongs of Cerys
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2018 on: December 15, 2019, 02:14:35 AM »
You use the last of your money to buy your grandmother a Christmas present.  Waking, cold and hungry on Boxing Day, you realise that the phone is ringing.  It's Gran, complaining that you got her exactly the same thing last year.  And that she didn't like it then, either.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2019 on: December 15, 2019, 07:23:07 AM »

A squaddie goes on a rampage killing spree after the online Dulux colour chart describes his barracks' kitchen as "incel green".

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2020 on: December 15, 2019, 09:58:55 AM »
Dog's lipstick on your collar
Told a tale on you


BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2021 on: December 15, 2019, 12:12:04 PM »
The Desolation thread becomes your "happy place" post-election

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2022 on: December 15, 2019, 08:23:07 PM »
Star athlete pretty school head girl gets best A-levels, leaps in air for press photo, hits low tree branch, lives eighty more years scarred, subnormal and paralysed.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2023 on: December 16, 2019, 12:16:52 AM »
The exclamation mark button on Glebe's computer fails.

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Take it easy, but take it.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2024 on: December 16, 2019, 12:31:16 AM »
Pancreas explains how he got his Wurlitzer (?) electric organ at such a discounted rate.

Cerys

  • Bionic-Arsed
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Cyber Engineered Ravaged Yakking System
    • The Brainwrongs of Cerys
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2025 on: December 16, 2019, 01:48:08 AM »
A hasbeen spends hours on eBay, checking the going rate for his old vinyl LPs.  Not one shows a value of more than 90p.  He packs them all away again, certain that one day they'll be recognised as treasures.  Dead soon.

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2026 on: December 16, 2019, 02:21:12 PM »
A Welsh comedy writer drifts to the yearning realisation that he identifies as Graham Linehan.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2027 on: December 16, 2019, 02:58:35 PM »
Stroke in ALDI.

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2028 on: December 16, 2019, 05:32:21 PM »
Stroking to a stroke in ALDI, wondering ischaemic wanking thrills await your niche in LIDL

DoesNotFollow

  • Everybody in the whole of NASA was in the pork pie
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2029 on: December 16, 2019, 06:26:27 PM »
A flat santa on a deflated reindeer running into the sea.

Twit 2

  • No half measures.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2030 on: December 17, 2019, 01:00:15 AM »
The only line in Gary’s quarterly wife report is “You put me right off fucks.”

Berthas Fat Leg

  • Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2031 on: December 17, 2019, 11:25:47 AM »
Ayrton Senna’s last poo.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Mr Moose is up! It's done done done!
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2032 on: December 17, 2019, 02:38:03 PM »

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2033 on: December 17, 2019, 03:16:06 PM »
Your grand-dad is excited for the new Star Wars film and is considering getting a Wookiee tattoo added to his Star Wars based sleeve. 

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2034 on: December 17, 2019, 05:56:26 PM »

A lapsed Catholic attends the V Festival wearing a rave-proof neck pouch containing an anal tampon.

Twit 2

  • No half measures.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2035 on: December 17, 2019, 06:12:13 PM »
Your balls fall off.

I like the simplicity of this one. Still chuckling.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Mr Moose is up! It's done done done!
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2036 on: December 17, 2019, 07:33:33 PM »
Ur ball fall

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Mr Moose is up! It's done done done!
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2037 on: December 17, 2019, 07:35:02 PM »
A toddler destroys their lego set while shouting 'pschhhhhooo powwwwwwwww fffkkkkaaaaareeeeerrr boooooooooooommmmm fruuuuusssaaaahhhhhhh Grenfell Grenfell Tower, culpability of the freeholder and lawmakers'

Cerys

  • Bionic-Arsed
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Cyber Engineered Ravaged Yakking System
    • The Brainwrongs of Cerys
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2038 on: December 17, 2019, 07:45:37 PM »
As Brexit looms, Christmas becomes mandatory.  With compulsory glitter.  On everything.  Everything.

Even that.

Cuellar

  • Taxes, they'll be lower...son
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #2039 on: December 17, 2019, 07:56:01 PM »
Compulsory Glitter

Tags: