DESOLATION_V.swf

[Cuellar]

Compulsory Glinner

[rasta-spouse]

A radicalised tennis player gets an erection watching the opening credits of Roseanne.

[pancreas]

Olivia Coleman's husband assigns 'The Ride of the Valkyries' as her ringtone on his iPhone 3.

[petril]

and outsider stands in Glasgow trying to preach that the non-Christians are trying to ban Christmas

[Ferris]

Compulsory Glitter

Part of Gary's community service?

[the midnight watch baboon]

Two waffles beat fuck out of a pancake.

[pancreas]

Lot #185. Wooden casket containing David Beckham's athlete's foot scrapings. Guide price: £400,000.

[Cuntbeaks]

A cunt with a harelip gobbles a dog.

[Cerys]

A civil war re-enactor tumbles into a wood chipper.

[Ferris]

A civil war re-enactor tumbles into a wood chipper.

...one of the handcranked, 18th century ones.

The reenactor operating the handles only stops for a tea break, around 4 hours in.

[derek stitt]

The department for work and pensions forms a paramilitary wing.

[poo]

Dean Gaffney stamps on a crab.

[BlodwynPig]

Oooh it's a bit nippy out ain't it

God: you're dead mate, get in purgatory you beige bore

[Gregory Torso]

Dean Gaffney's face on the new twenty pound note.

[Gregory Torso]

An urchin in a fur coat on the deck of the Lusitania ladling German scat porn into the English channel.

[Gregory Torso]

The entire visible population of Malpas, Cheshire, corner a millipede and set it on fire

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The self-styled 'Earl of Anus' who earns a tidy wad mining his exhausted tract on prolapse genre livecams is no longer able to conceal the need for constant mucus expectoration which accompanies his ruthless cystic fibrosis.

[Dannyhood91]

Some cunts throw yoghurt at a bereaved mong

[Cerys]

A civil war re-enactor tumbles into a wood chipper.

...one of the handcranked, 18th century ones.

The reenactor operating the handles only stops for a tea break, around 4 hours in.

A diatribe regarding the substandard quality of the tea is the only entry made in his diary that evening.

[BlodwynPig]

Some cunts throw yoghurt at a bereaved mong

Just another shrug day in Johnson's Britain

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A lecturer christened Clive Jasmin learns why his students have all been sniggering in the last decade or so.

[poo]

No matter how many times it's explained, Dean Gaffney continues to struggle with the concept of parboiling.

[poo]

A banner reading "The Democratic Republic of the Congo welcomes Dean Gaffney" is used to mop up a melted dog.

[Cerys]

A teddy bear finally stops trying.

[rasta-spouse]

It is revealed to you that your dad is paper mache.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Andy crumbles an Oxo cube into his pubic thatch.

[Cerys]

Meanwhile the kettle boils rather too swiftly for his liking.

[drummersaredeaf]

Stroke in ALDI.

ALDI in Stoke.

[rasta-spouse]

Your attempt at wall running ends with an invoice from the local widow for £20 of broken flowerpots.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A shoe shop won't be stocking the shoes you like most of all because 'you are gay'.