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DESOLATION_V.swf

Started by PlanktonSideburns, January 25, 2019, 03:25:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Ferris

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on February 14, 2020, 05:53:22 PM
Paul Ross tuts at a farnter.

'I wouldn't have farnted in that situation', he concludes, with a triumphally emphatic parp.

The proctologist behind him nods in agreement, before respectfully closing the gown.

poo

Mike Ashley's daily king prawn dhansak enema.

Pingers

You leave one of your buttocks on the bus and no-one hands it in to lost property

pancreas

Children's TV presenter Richard Bacon is in hospital with broken hands, after a feverish spate of pug-throttling.

petril

Letterbocks in Viz this month is all just "Do I Win A Fiver?" nothing else in any of the letters, just the five words and a question mark, 800 times

Gregory Torso

A runny green egg yolk commutes across a wetherspoons carpet, bog-bound and gristly.


Pingers

A weekend in a static caravan in Skegness during Storm Dennis, no booze, phone out of charge and your wanking hand is broken

Gregory Torso

A week in a bin in Clungeness during one of Les Dennis's legendary booze and wanking frenzies.

Gregory Torso

A year in a puddle in Paedothorpes during Cathy Dennis's comeback tour which consists mostly of her drinking Skol and doing wanking gestures at you from the stage

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Foulness is escaping a drubbing. But permanently ready for one.

Chicory

A pale husk of a girl draws a crap picture of her dead mother. Her social worker unconvincingly passes off his laughter as a bad coughing fit.

Pingers

The county of Essex is given pre-eminence and fucking lords it over everyone

Pingers

Quote from: Chicory on February 15, 2020, 05:21:37 PM
A pale husk of a girl draws a crap picture of her dead mother. Her social worker unconvincingly passes off his laughter as a bad coughing fit.

Nice

Shoulders?-Stomach!

BAVIN sharnts.

Fainting is enough to deal with, BAVIN, without having to attend to your wretched shart mess.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

You rest, as recommended by your doctor, only to fall asleep and have a vivid dream that your father is dead and it's your fault.

PlanktonSideburns

david gray's bespoke modular synthesyser wall cries in frequencies inaudible to all but the midi interfaces in the adjoining corridor

oh icarus, they think

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Trains cram themselves into a mass transit system comprised of recovered human body parts

'Fkin rammed as per usual', complains carriage 132.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

You spend time crafting an intriguing text adventure with a goal, a time limit and NPCs, only for twats to type commands about yeti-fucking and cat swastikas

jenna appleseed

Quote from: petrilTanaka on February 15, 2020, 10:35:56 AM
Letterbocks in Viz this month is all just "Do I Win A Fiver?" nothing else in any of the letters, just the five words and a question mark, 800 times

and they were all sent by you.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

You open a swimming pool locker to find a sticker for a rape crisis hotline on the inside of the door.

'But... I haven't been raped', you mutter.



'Yet', comes a voice from behind you. 'Yet.'

poo

Turn on the telly every channel is showing a montage of your most vigourous botty tugs.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: poo on February 18, 2020, 08:09:42 AM
Turn on the telly every channel is showing a montage of your most vigourous botty tugs.

Channel 5 has split-screen tug/cricket highlights simulcast

Cerys

Six terminal cases in the oncology wing ogle a receptionist, who chews her bubblegum and envies their weight loss.

BlodwynPig

*true deso*

You're enjoyable afternoon coffee, made with the finest roasted Peruvian beans, is ruined by a man the colour of turnip shitting himself in the shop foyer

Cuellar

DESO TWIST: The man is also you

Twit 2

You develop cancerous maladies of the arse-twat.
Trevor Brooking gets wind and invites himself round for an assessment.
FUCKSAKE CUNT YOUR ARSE IS FUCKED he commentates sagely.
BEST FUCK YOU INTO A BIN THEN
He flashes shades of indigo like a wise octopus while he cock smacks you into a garbage sink.
HAHA FUCK OFF HAVE THESE HALFORDS VOUCHERS
ta mate ta

the midnight watch baboon

You drink a warm bottle of teenage dog piss, masquerading as Brazil Lucozade at the half-hearted behest of your twins, Adam and Rupee.

Cerys


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Shilpa Shetty silk roads another box full of ocelots for consumption.