DESOLATION_V.swf

[the midnight watch baboon]

A wet poo on a dry log flume.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Paul McKenna's 'I Can Make You Cum', shifts 4M.

[ollyboro]

After his initial burst of pride, Alan is forced to close his Timpsons  concession when he discovers he isn't considered to be a key worker.

[Ferris]

Your dad starts sending you coronavirus memes

[BlodwynPig]

A wet poo on a dry log flume.

The log flume of "chimp shot dead on" fame?

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

A wet poo on a dry log flume.

A cloud of fizzy gravy erupts from the anus of the child in front of you in the wave pool which you're in because of the closed log flume.

[derek stitt]

Two hundred years from now a dna test reveals descent from a bog roll hoarder

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Two hundred years from now a dna test reveals descent from a bog roll hoarder

2200 Danny Dyer:

Hahahahaha oh wow oh my goh, like bog roll yeh

Bog roll, propah readies yeah

Wicked

[Chicory]

2009. A human skidmark dare-wanks over a magazine article of riddled and hairless Jade Goody. A flume of grey, watery jism splats on her big brave face. Some of it trickles over his ankle tag.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

2009. A human skidmark dare-wanks over a magazine article of riddled and hairless Jade Goody. A flume of grey, watery jism splats on her big brave face. Some of it trickles over his ankle tag.

Considering how permanently scarred and denuded we are by this ordeal, I thought I felt some sort of emotional reaction to that. Well done.

[Fishfinger]

The national psyche summons forth a legendary hero for the times: no, not King Arthur. Harold Shipman.

[ollyboro]

Walter loses the gig at the Cotton Swamps Retirement Home when he can't source a replacement waltz button for his 1970 Bontempi organ.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

An elderly couple accidentally stumble on a video of their live-at-home son's cock and ball torture session with a dominatrix while looking for the Gala bingo site on his ipad.

[ollyboro]

To ride out the Corona crisis, Arthur,  a 1980s cold war conspiracist and all round gammon cock end, sets his nuclear war bunker's unalterable time lock  for three months hence, then realises he's forgot the tin opener, and the rats have been at the shithouse paper and Razzles.

[touchingcloth]

Swearing a blood oath leads to a hepatitis C infection.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Stuart venerates a bum god from a temple he has created in the spare room.

Hail Recton, Lord of Tracts!!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Mr Ben is called 'the fucking piece of shit', by an evil toddler.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Paddington Bear is put down a lot and called 'Paddington Turd', and things like that. Also by an evil toddler.

[Kryton]

Manager of a elderly care home screaming into the phone: WELL YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO FIND ME MORE OLD PEOPLE AREN'T YOU??!!

[Ferris]

Manager of a elderly care home screaming into the phone: WELL YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO FIND ME MORE OLD PEOPLE AREN'T YOU??!!

That's very good

[Cerys]

Prince Philip draws the short straw.  Elizabeth consoles herself with the knowledge that his loss will endear her to the plebs.  She's sick of his snoring anyway.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Germaine Greer is crushed to death by the collapse of her massive stack of every back issue of the Sunday Sport.

[petril]

heard from through the wall: "WHIT DE YER MEAN THERE WIZ NANE LEFT? AH'M NO' WIPIN' IT WI' FUCKIN' TIN FOIL"

[ollyboro]

The tin foils fae heating ma shit no wiping ma shit

[Bazooka]

Patsy Palmer's reflection is disgusted by the source material.

[pancreas]

The makers of the board game Pandemic are already working on the next edition.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Regional newsreader Peter Levy does some digital droppings on the floor.

Peter! chides his goblin carer.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A park rowing boat operative offers an after dark service called the Paedolo

[Dex Sawash]

[Cerys]

During a special message to her subjects, Queen Elizabeth II breaks character and cackles manically for one minute and seventeen seconds before picking up where she left off.  The camera remains motionless, losing focus only briefly as a thin stream of mucus glistens a slow trail down from the royal left nostril.