DESOLATION_V.swf

[PlanktonSideburns]

the thing about urban camo is, it renders any piss stain completely undetectable.

[Ferris]

Brian's request for a full cavity search at Glasgow Prestwick is declined.

[ToneLa]

Greggs's sales top £1bn

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I'm filing for divorce says Brenda. The rotten steak slice is going to be gutted.

[The Poison Dwarf]

Thrown up from your Youtube recommended:

Hillsborough disaster ASMR

[petril]

Hillsborough with Yakety Sax overdubbed

[ToneLa]

Hillsborough used for jokes

Complaining aboot jokes

[batwings]

A Durham sex worker struggles to roll the condom past the baby-thumb-sized skin tag jutting from a retired headmaster's shaft.

Swinging by the DFS showroom only to discover the sale is off.

A video of a runaway trolley train paralysing a toddler in a Tesco car park gets liked by Maxine Carr's postman.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Fiona celebrates her divorce finally coming through by getting fingered by a random dad in the toilets at Monkey Madness.

[ToneLa]

A lass of but 26 in the hospice opens her post, it's a card from her ex-boyfriend and it says: Never Let Anyone Dull Your Sparkle. PS. I want you back

[ToneLa]

A young man, steeped in the powerful words "be the change you want to see", sets himself alight and burns himself the fuck doon

[pancreas]

A plan to fill in a sinkhole has to be postponed because Noel Edmonds is found to be living in it.

[dex]

A young man, steeped in the powerful words "be the change you want to see", sets himself alight and burns himself the fuck doon

Nice.

[dex]

Rufus Hound is found having illicit liaisons with an alsation.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Krugman, Stiglitz, Varoufakis, Barry Berlmenderskers

[PlanktonSideburns]

Jobcentre employee suggests that they might get more work if they put some apologetic comments under some of their negative punternet reviews

[Ferris]

Jobcentre employee suggests that they might get more work if they put some apologetic comments under some of their negative punternet reviews

Jobcentre employee glad he left those punternet reviews. That should encourage them to try harder!

[Twit 2]

A pie-eyed Ainsley Harriot trundles down the cobbles on a cock cart and tips into a rain washed manhole. He rates the experience 9/10, as his last breaths fart out of his ruptured lungs.

[ToneLa]

Jobcentre employee suggests that they might get more work if they put some apologetic comments under some of their negative punternet reviews

My current dole advisor told me I was too chatty and needed to dumb it down a bit because intelligence "like that" puts off employers

I know this is a joke thread but ffs

[ToneLa]

The only possible obstacle between you and the love of your life is you

[petril]

Bob is pleased at being referred to as being "like a Bond villain", blissfully unaware that they meant in the "guaranteed to fail" sense

[ToneLa]

A new user finally manages 1,000 posts in 3 days

All of them in the Brexit thread

[Prison Biscuits]

Two giggling toddlers picking fag ends out of a drainage ditch. As you pass, you smile at them. "Fuck off, you Jackson" says the smaller one.

[Prison Biscuits]

At the bus stop Roy's sticky crotch begins to attract ants, then wasps, and then hummingbirds. He braves their attentions like a seasoned pro.

[Prison Biscuits]

Lilt comes to your village. "De tropical taste of Lilt". Queue is around the block. People come out of the shop with their cans of Lilt, groggy and light-headed, enchanted. "It's like being on holiday without all them foreigners spitting at you" says Kathy, scratching her clemon.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Tobermorey Wagamamas closes due to "soil"

[Cuellar]

Dad's wake held in an escape room

[Spoon of Ploff]

Gillingham

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Existential crisis on lap 13 of the Hungarian Grand Prix.

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Seeing your childhood oneitis being slapped round the face by her brute of a fella in a rainy Lidl car park.