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DESOLATION_V.swf

Started by PlanktonSideburns, January 25, 2019, 03:25:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The NHS clapping evening slowly becomes a neighbourly utensil-off, culminating in Jane lowering a fridge onto Mavis's skull.

Pingers

A game of cock, paper, scissors goes wrong

petril

and now, a look at the light-hearted side of the tournament

the midnight watch baboon

Lockdown Week 93 - The planet grumbles as teenage pregnancies soar past Covid-19's frankly laughable attempt to slow the world's true virus, humanity.

Ferris

In the grim darkness of the distant future, the fate of the ravaged earth is fought for by two mecha-nonces.

Pingers

"Nasty gash you've got there"

Is this guy even a proper gynaecologist?

Sebastian Cobb

The way you put your feet up made you re-evaluate whether you're inadvertently wearing Boot Cuts for three weeks.

the midnight watch baboon


Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

IDW produces a graphic novel wherein Master Splinter supports the turtles' pizza habit with a combination of dealing weed and whoring himself to rich, sexually jaded perverts. Various reviewers gush over how gritty and daring it is, making particular mention of how shocking and brave it was of the artist to graphically depict Splinter's huge furry rat-balls.

dex

After finding an old C-90 cassette, you notice the inlay card reads: "Transcript of audio recording. No redeeming social value. Highly offensive. Words to make you leak by...."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

A paedophile notes that the title score and credits of some child porn are "frankly amateur level". He is told to 'fuck up', and so starts a child porn production values war which eventually becomes the media giants Viacom and Miramax.

Pingers

An ailing local tripe business experiences a remarkable change in fortune after pledging to use 50% of their profits to ruin your entire life forever.


dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on May 24, 2020, 03:47:24 PM

BLONDE SIMPSONS DON'T HAVE SEPARATELY DELINEATED HAIR, THEY JUST HAVE ODDLY SHAPED HEADS.

STOP GETTING SIMPSONS WRONG, ROONEY!

the midnight watch baboon

A shorts-wearing postman announces his diagnosis of "penile dementia*" in the style of Boris Johnson hoodwinking the nation;

Stay Alert.
  Control the Virus.
     Save your genitals.

*gonorrhea

. . . he tells his YouTube channel MORNINGFLAPMAN. 0 likes, 17 shares.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

2048, ecological collapse.

Denny is directed to walk with haste towards the closest identified piece of uncontaminated land by his on-board Amazoogle computer chip assistant Rupert. On arrival 5 other people are there tearing each other apart for the least soggy patch. To the right a couple of hands disappear into the sludge still doing Clap for Carers as it is 8pm on a Thursday.

Twit 2


the midnight watch baboon

A whale decides to swim up the Thames and die.

Fishfinger

Wolverhampton, 1978, and the worst turd in England escapes from its bowl and rampages through the Mander Centre.

Captain Poodle Basher

Kenneth amends his will to stipulate that his corpse is to be devoured by The Goombay Dance Band.

Maureen sets up a PO box after Ted comments that the new postwoman has "lovely legs".

Ferris

Desolation 6: approaching the nadir

??

petril

Quote from: Fishfinger on May 29, 2020, 12:03:09 PM
Wolverhampton, 1978, and the worst turd in England escapes from its bowl and rampages through the Mander Centre.

and who laid that cable? REEVES and MORTIMER!

Fishfinger

#2933
Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 29, 2020, 03:26:23 PM
Desolation 6: approaching the nadir

??

Desolation VI: Get in Coughin'

(Coffin, geddit?)

Should be all CAPS.

I have a sneaking suspicion someone's already said something like this.

Ferris

Desolation six: will it ever end

Pingers

You are dismantled in a roast battle by Theresa May

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Desolation 6: The Covidian Sepulchre

Ferris

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on May 29, 2020, 05:53:01 PM
Desolation 6: The Covidian Sepulchre

I like "covidian". Sepulchre too on the nose though, I initially misread it as "The Covidian Sphere" which I think I prefer

Fishfinger

I like Shoulders' thing. How the fuck do you even punctuate that. Question mark in bin. Or grave. Same thing.

Ferris