DESOLATION_V.swf

[ToneLa]

This packet of Mini Cheddars is literally overflowing with maggots

But you're just so hungry

[The Poison Dwarf]

Chas' manky todger degloves into his bovril. He slurps it up with relish.


''Jus' lahk mum yoost t' make''

[Cuntbeaks]

"An emotional Haka"

[The Poison Dwarf]

An utter pillock cowers in a portaloo, pecking at a beef stock cube.

It's not his first, and it *certainly* isn't his last.

[ToneLa]

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Gunnar the Minky Whale is taught to burp a vague fascimile of "LOL" for some Americans in a bubble version of morse code

[Chollis]

Caroline Quentin queefs open a portal to the nightmare dimension

[pancreas]

Caroline Quentin deploys a dirty bomb in Aylesbury, wiping out a struggling duck farm and a hospice.

[ToneLa]

She gets through the post: a jolly cartooned card that says Don't Let Your Miscarriage Stop The Party!

[Gregory Torso]

A horsey pub lass milks a man with actual frozen chips for teeth into an upset bottle of Baileys.

[Gregory Torso]

Jeff destroys the school goblin during half term.


The caretaker has a grumpy wank inside a locker in between bouts of consuming a yard of cheese.


A school for kids who've been marked by God for especially disappointing adulthoods.

[Gregory Torso]

Cat slurry.

[Gregory Torso]

Nicholas Witchell begins a wank marathon, vowing to edge until the conclusion of Brexit.

[Cuntbeaks]

Two bald homosexuals piss up each others arseholes in the disabled toilets on the oncology ward.

Among the delights at a "world buffet" in Greenock are Goblin Hamburgers (USA), tesco value tinned Macaroni Cheese (Italy), Bacon Grill (Greece), Tuna Mayonnaise (Japan), Meatball Korma (India), Crispy Aromatic Chicken Nuggets (China).

Hard-on pills washed down with mung.

[ToneLa]

You piss shit

[dex]

You piss shit

Then shit out piss and vomit turds. The Chicken Cottage freegan bin-dive seemed like such a good idea at the time...

[Berthas Fat Leg]

A Seal bar wrapper is used as a condom.

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

A fallen angel forgets what heaven was like.

A begotten March Hare runs so fast and jumps so high it snaps it's own back with the force, crumpling to the ground twitching.

Rob tells the grand master to "go fuck a goat" at the masonic hall. Murmurs are heard.

Humanity reaches the next level but forgets to save before ecological collapse.

[touchingcloth]

A Verbwhore annoys everyone else due to he majority of his posts being along the lines of "Desolation 3 was the best one, wasn't it", "pure missing Desolation 3, man", and "might just start posting in Desolation 3 again lol". He does this mainly in the Corbyn thread.

The situation is compounded at a meet, where he spends the whole time saying "who reckons Desolation 3 was the best", "I rate we all just post in Desolation 3 right now haha nah only kidding but it would be fun wouldn't it I rate we do that", and "we're all pissed enough, be well funny if we all just post in Desolation 3 now".

He had had half a shandy.

[buttgammon]

A gambling addict launches a homophobic tirade in a gay bar after losing their free novelty bingo game three weeks in a row.

[petril]

A gambling addict launches a homophobic tirade in a gay bar after losing their free novelty bingo game three weeks in a row.

he backed not getting a kicking from the regular bears.

still going to chase his losses, mind

[Spoon of Ploff]

A retired referee spends his final days stalking the pigeons on Sheerness seafront.

[ToneLa]

A mother buys a Spider Man computer game for her son only to discover that this computer game requires a computer!! Also she has no son and she is mad and not really a mother

[Spoon of Ploff]

A mother buys a Spider Man computer game for her son only to discover that this computer game requires a computer!! Also she has no son and she is mad and not really a mother

a-and it's not even a Spider Man computer game it's just a brick with a bit of spider web attached to it.

[Chollis]

The police confirm Craig Charles as a person of interest after "countless" female bodies are dredged up from the muddy waters throughout Takeshi's Castle.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A drill sergeant barks orders at his boiling pan of fusili, which all meekly comply

[pancreas]

Due to budgetary constraints, the NHS re-introduces phrenology as approved medical practice.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Due to budgetary complaints all NHS medical advice to be written by a fell farmer who only ever says "giiit down yer" even to his wife who he enforces doctrinaire soil-eating on.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Barry George lands a guest reporter slot on The One Show and is immediately fired after referring to a diabetic swan as a "Dando".

[Lordofthefiles]

That kid from school that died but he's alive and he's your new boss and your entire grip on reality slips.