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DESOLATION_V.swf

Started by PlanktonSideburns, January 25, 2019, 03:25:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Glebe

Wayne Rooney gobbles down a Big Mac on a bench in the Wirral.

NEWPAGE_V.twat

Glebe

Jacob Rees-Mogg considers sharing a dry scone with a sad-looking tramp, but throws it in the Thames instead.

petril


poo

Hah, that's fucking tragic.

Glebe

Two seagulls fight over a half-eaten jammie dodger in a layby. It starts raining and the half-eaten jammie dodger goes all soggy and that.

pancreas

You are given a puppy to cuddle but when you look down into its eyes you see the soul of Jonathan Pie staring back at you, flailing about in deconstructivist paroxysms. You close your eyes and squeeze—hard.

dex

Slipping over in seagull shit at Bristol harbor.

Glebe

Michael Gove sighs at a gone-off cabbage.

Berthas Fat Leg

Dirty Ron plonks himself down and wonders how long it'll take for the other parents to realise he didn't bring any kids with him.

Dr Trouser

Quote from: Glebe on April 17, 2019, 11:47:05 AM
Michael Gove sighs at a gone-off cabbage.
Hospital visits are the worst aspect of being Health Secretary

Bazooka

A WW1 veteran drinks his final Bovril broth from a verruca sock.

Glebe

It's rotten soup for lunch, courtesy of Chef Jake Nutkins.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Glebe


Bazooka

The nation mourns the death of The Green Giant, killed by asbestos as he cleared the loft.

Glebe

Theresa May says "Yo!" to a group of kids in Burger King.

Ferris

Craig David refinances his flat to release further equity for his doomed autobiographical musical.

Glebe

Bernie Clifton falls asleep watching In the Night Garden with a can of Stella.

Bazooka

A lollipop lady gets teenage angst for the first time, mid crossing at the age of 73.

Glebe

Richard Madeley eating Super Noodles in a onesie.

While the kids are away with weekend dad, a threesome is drawn to an abrupt end when both men injure themselves standing on Lego.

Hey, Punk!

There is no way out of the cyber-blitz, the semiotics of capitalism will reach break-neck speed and when the human brain can no longer process the information it will be altered to do so. Quiet, contemplative moments will be eradicated.

Bazooka

A turkey farmer fills his sex doll with giblets.

the midnight watch baboon

A British porn choreographer fails to separate his recycling as per local guidelines.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

"Amazing the hardships you can force someone with no sense of smell to endure isn't it Geof....oh...and Bamford's stolen in, rounded the keeper and it's 2-1! Lovely composed finish, and he's rightly made up about that. Game on Geoff!"

Bazooka

A renegade kite saturated in semen cause havoc at the village fete on a particularly breezy bank holiday.

Glebe

"Look, about last night..." Jeremy Corbyn tells Theresa May as she makes the coffee.

petril

the Gaelic remake of Mrs Brown's Boys is a bigger ratings smash than the original

Ferris

Quote from: petrilTanaka on April 24, 2019, 05:10:46 PM
the Gaelic remake of Mrs Brown's Boys is a bigger ratings smash than the original

Runs for 38 years on Broadway. Hailed as a new cultural touchstone for the 21st century. Critical revisionism cause all negative associations with the original to be erased from collective memory. It replaces Shakespeare at the Globe theatre, and is performed for centuries.

Ferris

A time capsule from 1919 is eagerly opened by local children, but contains only visceral racist invective and a nasty bout of polio.