Author Topic: DESOLATION_V.swf  (Read 2371 times)

ToneLa

  • I don't have to dip fishsticks in shit(literally)
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #60 on: February 01, 2019, 10:05:47 AM »
Was gonna do a Hutchence but I don't have any apples or a belt

batwings

  • Timewaster seeks same. No timewasters please.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #61 on: February 01, 2019, 04:30:46 PM »
As he approaches the grave, an overzealous pallbearer tries to "put some stank on it", but his knees buckle and Nana's fermented carcass is catapulted high into the air. The bloated cadaver splatters on impact, coating the congregation in all sorts of shit-smelling gunk and goo.

£250 on You've Been Framed though.

batwings

  • Timewaster seeks same. No timewasters please.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #62 on: February 01, 2019, 04:40:06 PM »
A pink-faced lollipop man, laying on his stomach, googling "DIY anal prolapse repair" on a Tesco tablet.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #63 on: February 01, 2019, 08:44:50 PM »
dead uncle's video collection, one tape(VHS): Danny Baker's Own Goals Where It Comes Back Off The Woodwork And Hits The Keeper

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #64 on: February 02, 2019, 12:17:48 AM »
Finally all that drinking pays off, and, as you long suspected, after there's just nothing.

BlodwynPig

  • R.I.P. The Waxwork René
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #65 on: February 02, 2019, 04:02:25 AM »
Why am I still here?

The void shrugs.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #66 on: February 02, 2019, 08:09:20 AM »
A Hyperanal Venusian Dung Sergeant has to return some disappointingly sub-grade aggregate to a builders merchants on his day off

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #67 on: February 02, 2019, 08:34:16 AM »
Beryl, a glovepuppet made from tampon wrappers and betting slips who has only known the bitter and grinding tedium of hierarchical abuse bleeds tears.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #68 on: February 02, 2019, 08:37:06 AM »
Get In shouts Draingrave the Second, as his hermitian experiments yield a way to weaponise dental floss.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #69 on: February 02, 2019, 08:39:17 AM »
A myopic ice cream man absent mindedly blares BISSS AN SORRCE while cooking for his wife.

Luckily however, she is nowhere to be found.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #70 on: February 02, 2019, 08:43:16 AM »
Gary Megson concentrates on building a tower of hatred in his mind, then a bigger one.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #71 on: February 02, 2019, 09:16:35 AM »
Harry Potter aged 53, after the wife and kids have left. Sells autographs on Wizard eBay to get by.

harry potter, five years after leaving hogwarts, has developed a personality disorder & been banned from doing any spells with effects lasting longer than three seconds, on pain of death.
as he rides home on the bus from his dead-end job through miserable rainy november streets, he cheers himself up by conjuring the phones of annoying teenagers on the bus to 100 degrees centigrade & back, & when he sees more annoying teenagers being noisy in the streets, he conjures bucketfuls of cold water to land on them out of thin air.
none of this helps. none of this is going to get hermione back.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #72 on: February 02, 2019, 09:19:49 AM »
dead uncle's video collection, one tape(VHS): Danny Baker's Own Goals Where It Comes Back Off The Woodwork And Hits The Keeper

shit, I worked on the 'own goals & gaffes' tape... 1992. DB was an arsehole then, paid £10k for the v/o & he hadn't written anything for it, so we were there all fucking night.
the producer- jim ramsay- got alan parry to do the next one.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #73 on: February 02, 2019, 09:43:52 AM »
~ How do you like your eggs in the morning? ~

- I was crippled in a crash

Scrambled or fried?

- Both, I don't have any use for my legs

FerriswheelBueller

  • Bautista with a drive, deep left-field!
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #74 on: February 02, 2019, 12:57:55 PM »

Prison Biscuits

  • a loaf of milk
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #75 on: February 02, 2019, 01:02:08 PM »
A cunt cunts another cunt into a "no cunting" zone, much to the disapproval of an onlooking crowd of cunts.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #76 on: February 02, 2019, 01:10:40 PM »
Must have cribbed the idea. Unacceptable.

nah. it's that parallel evolution thing.

FerriswheelBueller

  • Bautista with a drive, deep left-field!
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #77 on: February 02, 2019, 01:12:05 PM »
nah. it's that parallel evolution thing.

 No no, I meant you must have cribbed the idea off me. You just did it a few months before I did to cover your tracks. Nice try.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #78 on: February 02, 2019, 01:46:04 PM »
No no, I meant you must have cribbed the idea off me. You just did it a few months before I did to cover your tracks. Nice try.

hah. >double-parks delorean with hazards on<  the HP in my scenario is younger, so that means I did it first. >gets back into car, stalls<

BlodwynPig

  • R.I.P. The Waxwork René
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #79 on: February 02, 2019, 08:03:01 PM »
No no, I meant you must have cribbed the idea off me. You just did it a few months before I did to cover your tracks. Nice try.

Speaking of cribs....nappy time, mate.

FerriswheelBueller

  • Bautista with a drive, deep left-field!
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #80 on: February 02, 2019, 11:12:38 PM »
Speaking of cribs....nappy time, mate.

Just the 3 today. Result.

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #81 on: February 02, 2019, 11:53:19 PM »
new encyclopedia out in The Works: Every Time Someone Said Funk Instead Of Fuck, £4.99

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #82 on: February 03, 2019, 12:02:44 AM »
new encyclopedia out in The Works: Every Time Someone Said Funk Instead Of Fuck, £4.99

Complete with free EMF cassingle.

Berthas Fat Leg

  • Someone’s sitting there, mate
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #83 on: February 03, 2019, 08:41:53 AM »
They promised us house robots, flying cars and food in capsule form. Instead we got Ed Sheerin, knife crime and food banks.

Pingers

  • With the ill behaviour
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #84 on: February 03, 2019, 06:03:45 PM »
They promised us house robots, flying cars and food in capsule form. Instead we got Ed Sheerin, knife crime and food banks.

The people who promised you that fly to their mansions in their cars, chewing lobster thermidor capsules, to get amazing oral sex from erotobots. You, on the other hand, have to go to the food bank because your 08 plate Honda Accord needs new tyres. You get knife mugged by an Ed Sheeran lookalike on the way to have resigned, toxic sex with bgmnts. The worst part is that he

Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #85 on: February 04, 2019, 05:42:02 PM »
Uklovedollsforum.co.uk

ToneLa

  • I don't have to dip fishsticks in shit(literally)
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #86 on: February 04, 2019, 06:00:59 PM »
Unable to conjur up enough saliva to lick a stamp, Sid wrings droplets of cum out of his dessicated old member, looking like he's choking a fossilised baby sea snake.

Then he remembers stamps are self adhesive these days.

ToneLa

  • I don't have to dip fishsticks in shit(literally)
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #87 on: February 04, 2019, 07:13:28 PM »
My only source of income is Google Rewards giving me store credit for answering intensely personal questions about my life

PlanktonSideburns

  • Our love can destroy this whole fucking world
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #88 on: February 04, 2019, 07:23:02 PM »
LiveLeak is the only site he can complete to these days. All fucking hells going to be unleashed the day that leaves me soft, he thinks

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: DESOLATION_V.swf
« Reply #89 on: February 04, 2019, 08:05:32 PM »
A Serbian time capsule is discovered containing framed photograph of Slobodan Milosevic and a vial of suspicious white liquid. What it was doing in Mr Motivator's personal effects, is anyone's guess.