Florence Welch

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

I just had to endure the entirety of her cover of You've Got the Love and by fuck was I sick of her foghorn pipes by the end of it. All the subtlety of a sledge hammer to the face.


Anybody else care to join me in my hatred of her bellowing?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Mate dragged me to see her at bestival, along with another lad and his idiot girlfriend who said things like 'it's like she takes my emotions and sings them back to me'.

I basically just stood there smoking fags, drinking and doing dabs to make it bareable. Some woman asked if her mate could sit on my shoulders so she could see. I said ok but nearly dropped her. I think she was crying at one point.

[Pauline Walnuts]

I don't know what she's like these days, but at the HEIGHT of her SQUAAAAAARRRKKINGGG at end of every line She was always sounded rather FLLLAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT.

Apparently that didn't seem to matter to anyone else.

[kalowski]

Mate dragged me to see her at bestival, along with another lad and his idiot girlfriend who said things like 'it's like she takes my emotions and sings them back to me'.

I basically just stood there smoking fags, drinking and doing dabs to make it bareable. Some woman asked if her mate could sit on my shoulders so she could see. I said ok but nearly dropped her. I think she was crying at one point.

She takes my emotions and sings them back to me, too. Those emotions being disgust, misery, horror and hatred.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Lungs is a banging racket, good wails

[alan nagsworth]

I just had to endure the entirety of her cover of You've Got the Love and by fuck was I sick of her foghorn pipes by the end of it. All the subtlety of a sledge hammer to the face.


Anybody else care to join me in my hatred of her bellowing?

Yep. She can't sing for fucking toffee and that song is a cacophonous wall of dog shit.

On a scale of Kate Nash to Kate Bush she's very much closer to the former, though her dickhead fans would likely vehemently claim otherwise.

[imitationleather]

I saw her live as she was stuck very awkwardly and was most unwelcome between Deerhoof and Blur on a line-up.

[Twed]

Music for people who like big fucking boring honking geese.

[Sebastian Cobb]

To be fair the only listenable version of You got the Love is Eren's bootleg.

[jobotic]

Music for mobile phone adverts and Bestival.

Yeah I copy and pasted that from the beginners guide to music snobbery but it's true.

[jobotic]

.

[Better Midlands]

To be fair the only listenable version of You got the Love is Eren's bootleg.

So true, every subsequent remix/cover kills it a little bit more.

[BlodwynPig]

It was shit the first time around. Not even layers of nostalgia poured on top of it makes it any good. Bland rubbish.

[Bazooka]

We have a few replies in, without mentioning the mash up of her hit song (can't remember the title right now, it's  sonic diarrhea anyway) she did with Dizzie Rascal at some award ceremony.

Her music can be put on in the background and forgotten about, yet at the same time serve the purpose of being put on in the background and forgotten about. But I must be wrong, this NME writer thinks differently: https://www.google.com/amp/amp.timeinc.net/nme/list/florence-the-machine-25-of-her-best-lyrics-1281%3fsource=dam

[BlodwynPig]

Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart/ Drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart

Sounds a bit of a fruit loop.

[BlodwynPig]

Embedded in that froth is a video "NME in conversation with...Ricky Gervais"

The Beige Men have won inveigled themselves into the so-called underground scene. Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!

[Janie Jones]

My son was at art school in London at the same time as her record company paid for her to enroll there, in order to attempt to lend some authenticity to the talentless bellower. They also shaved a couple of years off her age.

[Avril Lavigne]

More like Florence WELP...

[jobotic]

My son was at art school in London at the same time as her record company paid for her to enroll there, in order to attempt to lend some authenticity to the talentless bellower. They also shaved a couple of years off her age.

Excellent. "Hello, London..Art School? How much to enrol a talentless bellower? A mature student? Yea...er, no".

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

There's one song I quite like on her second album as it doesn't have her usual honking on it, so that's something.

But fuck me, that first album...my girlfriend at the time wouldn't stop bloody playing it. Add that to the singles seemingly appearing in every BBC Three trailer going and it was a depressing year. I know that album note for note, and despise my ex for it.

[Phil_A]

It's depressing how many people associate what she does with her voice as "good singing", it sets such a low bar.

[momatt]

She is rubbish.  There seems to be a trend of thinking volume = talent in modern pop music.
Just totally awful, can't bear it.

More like Florence WELP...

Florence SHIT.

She takes my emotions and sings them back to me, too. Those emotions being disgust, misery, horror and hatred.

Me too.  :D

[bim sherman shirts]

The notorious early 'sexy popstar Hitler' press release

https://benward.uk/blog/tumblr-71683232

[PlanktonSideburns]

The innocent smoothie blurb guys are never going to top their early work are they?

[BlodwynPig]

The notorious early 'sexy popstar Hitler' press release

https://benward.uk/blog/tumblr-71683232

Florence and the Manchine?

[alan nagsworth]

Florence and the Manchine?

Florence and the Übermenschine, surely.

[Bazooka]

There's one song I quite like on her second album as it doesn't have her usual honking on it, so that's something.

But fuck me, that first album...my girlfriend at the time wouldn't stop bloody playing it. Add that to the singles seemingly appearing in every BBC Three trailer going and it was a depressing year. I know that album note for note, and despise my ex for it.

My ex inflicted the same pain on me, maybe we can start a support group.

[purlieu]

I really like Emotions Overload In Your Face in pop music and even I can't fucking stand her.

[Captain Z]

My favourite thing involving Florence and the Machine was Morgana Robinson doing her impression of Fearne Cotton saying 'Florence and the Machiiine'. Those 2 seconds perfectly encapsulated all you need to know about Morgana's Show, Fearne Cotton and Florence and the Machine.

[jonnycuba]

Also known as Camberwell's shame.