Celebrities doing things in places.

[Ray Travez]

Thom Yorke's phone battery dies in the middle of ordering some hot Findus Crispy Pancakes in the Cheshire village of Pott Shrigley. He finds a small field and goes to sleep next to a thistle.

[rasta-spouse]

Marcus Brigstocke attends a Soho table-read holding a corncob in front of his face so no one can see his mouth, "Creep!" blurts Richard Curtis who has been shooting him numerous tired looks throughout.

[Glebe]

"Just look at the determination in that goose's eyes," notes Harry Kane during a outing in the Cairngorms.

Helen Hunt notices a vision of Buddha through a pair of open curtains in Culver City.

"Gotta have that funk," whispers Michael Portillo during PMQs in Westminster.

"There's a real look of wonder on that child's face," Prince William tells Duchess Catherine, examining Prince George's face as he tucks into a boiled egg at Sandringham.

[Glebe]

Roger Federer questions the meaning of existence at Mosney Holiday Centre (formally a Butlin's), County Meath, in the early '90s.

Terence Trent D'Arby rams a halibut firmly against the back of a London minicab.

Taking D'Arby's lead, former Wish You Were Here...? presenter Judith Chalmers pushes a hake against the side of a bus in Stratford.

Martin Freeman fires John Sessions out of cannon in Seville.

[Mr Eggs]

Ken Stott curls a length out on a memorial bench at Lighthouse road beach in Formby.

[rasta-spouse]

Geoff Capes on his knees at Kew Gardens Palm House because he hasn't rested his duck breast before slicing.

[poo]

Scatman John fly-tips a microwave on Maerdy Mountain.

[rasta-spouse]

Ian Botham capsizes a ferry off the Cornish coast, convinced someone heard him wanking in the night.

[seepage]

Theresa May eats fish & chips in Westcliff-on-Sea, while someone calls her a wanker

[bgmnts]

Youth hostelling with Chris Eubank renders this thread extra pointless.

[Glebe]

Daniel Craig teaches a kangaroo English in a bar in Perth.

Lars Ulrich fires boxes of Weetos out of a canon in Zurich for a year.

Rosie O' Donnell demonstrates the power of apricots to a swing bin in Cleethorpes.

Craig David segways round Edinburgh all day.

Azerbaijan-based Simon McCoy performs a stirring rendition of k.d. lang's 'Constant Craving' to a squirrel.

Kate Bush stands atop a hill in Bexleyheath and summons her Hounds of Love through that amazing voice of hers.

[rasta-spouse]

Rick Wakeman carefully balances a quart of R Kelly's urine on his forehead at Lampeter student union, "see not as bad as you thought" he says to the gathered crowd.

[rasta-spouse]

These would be better if they rhymed.

Worth a shot...

Anne Diamond battles the hive mind in Thailand?

(I lose all my rap battles)

[Ferris]

Alan McInally beats a scally in an alley.

[Glebe]

Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison and Colin Baker go to a party at Sylvester McCoy's Torquay maisonette in 1988 and dance joyously to Wham's 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go'.

Wim Wenders cricket bats a mild hedgehog over a fence in Maidenhead.

Dexter Fletcher tosses a tin of Heinz Spaghetti Hoops into a ditch in Crawley.

Jennifer Lopez hijacks a tram in downtown San Francisco and takes it for a ride around the California hills.

[rasta-spouse]

Stuart Maconie, after a large hotel breakfast, goes one-by-one through the tourists gathered around the Cheops Pyramid telling them all unconvincingly that he is the Nevermind baby.

[Glebe]

Paul Whitehouse thrashes a vole behind an Aldi in Stockport.

Nana Mouskouri whips up a batch of Angel Delight during a cruise on the Red Sea.

Neil Morrissey shaves the whiskers off a walrus during a weekend break in Alaska.

And finally... Trevor McDonald sorts his The Beezer collection into chronological order in a dusky corner of the Grand Canyon!

[ToneLa]

Here's fuckin Konnie Huq outside Warrington Bank Quay. She's keening to make eye contact but you're wary and you're weary. All you wanna do is is get to your zero hour contract job.

But Konnie Huq follows ye. And she's whispering, you're quite sure, a single word over and over: "Mormonism."

[Glebe]

Nigel Havers tattoos his balls pink in an alleyway in Kowloon.

America Ferrera does a solo, one-off, live Ugly Betty special in Saskatoon.

Peter Mayhew accidentally shoves a rare Chewbacca mask into a garbage disposal unit in Peking.

Roger Bannister repeatedly slams a heron's beak into the small of his back down Mexico way.

[The Bumlord]

Clive Mantle unleashes a bone-chilling roar of sheer despondency as his finger goes through the paper in the Gents at Zizzi in Market Harborough.

[Gregory Torso]

Jimmy Nail admires a full-colour illustration of a monotreme in a book of zoological discrepancies, in a library, in HULL!

Josh Widdicombe is seen approaching the night window of the 24 hour garage on Trent Road in Lincoln and saying "one ticket to see boobs, please".

Pauline Quirke cleans the graffiti BUM FANNY OOH FUCKIN POO off her garage door for the fourth consecutive week, in her town, where she lives.

Jimmy Nail (again!) finds a pair of soiled gymnast's pants under a coach seat and tucks them into his back pocket for later.

[Gregory Torso]

Clive Mantle unleashes a bone-chilling roar of sheer despondency as his finger goes through the paper in the Gents at Zizzi in Market Harborough.

Clive Mantle unleashes his "mantle-piece" at the Casualty wrap party, egged on by a pissed Charlie, in Holby City.

[Norton Canes]

Zoe Wannamaker, toilet protest, Leicester.

[Glebe]

"NUTS! WHOLE HAZELNUTS! CADBURYS TAKES THEM AND THEY COVERS THEM IN CHOCOLATE!" Indeed they do, Clive Anderson, in fine voice in St. Kitts and Nevis!

Marco Pierre White boomerangs a tortoise off a dustbin in Wales.

Gary Bushell is walking down a path in Sussex when an orangutan suddenly leaps out from behind a bush and attacks him. Bushell manages to fend off the creature with a heavy wrench he just happened to be carrying around in a plastic bag. The reddish-coloured simian legs it, leaving Gary to answer some serious questions posed by puzzled police officers who have just arrived at the scene.

"Now there's lov-ley!" notes Ruth Madoc, observing a hunky fisherman in the Maldives.

[rasta-spouse]

Seal Team Six groupbuying a radio control K9 Mark II from a pawnbrokers in Ockbrook.

[Glebe]

BBC News' Sophie Raworth compresses a small vole to the size of a matchbook in downtown Detroit.

[ToneLa]

Ye walk past that old church in Orford an sitting on the wall in clashing Kappa trackies is that Trinny and Susan. Ye give em a tip of yir wee hat and they cackle, calling ye a small-pricked boy wonder, a right feather duster, hurling empty cans of K right at your bonce. You run off, flushed and burning at the injustice, yir trenchcoat streaming behind ye. But what did you expect? You shouldve seen it comin from those rootin-tootin twats

[Glebe]

Les Dennis smashes a rare moth to bits with a coat hanger in Penzance.

Nicholas Lyndhurst accidently knocks a Mrs. Brown's Boys DVD off a shelf in a Dealz in County Mayo.

Tiger Woods makes a life-size Thomas the Tank Engine out of spam on a cliff in Argentina.

Malin Akerman shoves a dandelion into the ear of an old horse in High Wycombe.

[rasta-spouse]

Samantha Janus accepts the possibility of a saviour in a Sussex garden that has been devastated by vermin.

[Glebe]

Roger Whittaker whistles the theme to Corrie on a weekend break on a barge on the Rhine.

Sue Lawley spots Paul 'Avon from Blake's 7' Darrow in a tearoom in Chichester. The pair discuss fly-fishing for fifteen minutes before departing separately, never to meet again.

Noel Edmonds removes the legs off a folding tray table and uses the tray top as an 'ordinary' tray to place his hot dinner plate on. In his newly-bought bungalow in Harrow.

Catherine Zeta-Jones puts hubby Michael Douglas into an IKEA storage unit and sends him floating down the Thames at an inlet near Tower Hamlets for a laugh.