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Celebrities doing things in places.

Started by Glebe, January 28, 2019, 02:36:46 AM

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Norton Canes

Quote from: rasta-spouse on April 08, 2019, 05:10:42 PM
Trevor Nelson rents a cottage outside of Truro planning to write Britain's longest palindrome. He won't let her inside but Edith Bowman still leaves a Vienetta by the porch every other week

Actually read this backwards

Bazooka

Richard Blackwood gets his hand stuck in a tin of cream of chicken soup, whilst performing at leisure center in Grimsby.

dex

George Galloway greens himself up as Blanca from Streetfighter II and absolutely decimates a Honda Civic in Stevenage.

willpurry

Cheryl Campbell strokes a frog in Southminster.

Gregory Torso

Gordon Ramsay flicks a pair of copulating woodlice out of his face cleft whilst on holiday in Whitby.

Allen Ginsberg listens to Mogwai in a mini cooper parked on the beach at Chapel St Leonards.

Kelly Brook cleans mole-traps in a lake as the sun sets behind the hills of Vermont.

Gregory Torso

Iggy Pop calls the crowd "a bunch of red socks and Birkenstocks-wearing, eggplant tempura-eating poser fucks" onstage at "Rodney's English Disco", Luton.

rasta-spouse

Due to a death in the family Anna Friel inherits a crazy golf course in Farnborough.

Glebe

Bobby Davro is havin' it large at a house party in Cromer.

Sean Connery pisses into an Irn Bru can beneath an overpass in Inverness.

Little Mix go to Brighton for a fun day out. Two of them ends up vomiting on a seagull.

Kaley Cuoco stares hypnotically at a bug zapper in Toluca for a while.

dex

Kele Okereke gets into an argument with a fax machine in a Peterborough library.

pancreas

Margaret Hodge frots the amazonian tree frog vivarium in a Azerbaijan zoo which has just been put into administration.

Glebe

Biggins builds a statue of Margaret Thatcher out of milk crates in Bethnal Green.

Olly Murs calls Ellie Goulding out for not using the correct terminology during a conversation about LGBTQ rights in a cardboard box in Suffolk. Ellie apologises and makes her excuses and exits the box and leaves Suffolk.

Brendan Fraser steals a pie cooling on a window in Halifax and scoffs the lot!

Jimmy Kimmel smashes a child's Lego set during a fit of madness in downtown Pittsburgh.


Dr Sanchez

Gregg Wallace removes cream egg filling and replaces it with actual egg while blowing on a flute in a Lidl carpark,  Coventry.

Bazooka

Chris Tarrant gets bored at 3am on Tuesday whilst staying at a hostel in Goole, so uses a robin to fly into his neighbours house and steal all of their socks, they wake up fuming.

MidnightShambler

Bobby Gould arriving 5 minutes late for a guitar lesson in Nuneaton

Warrior from Gladiators serving two old men fish suppers in a chippy in New Brighton

Charles Dance pissing in his wardrobe after a night drinking large rums in Vienna

Dr Sanchez

Sandy Toksvig arguing with a packet of Hob Nobs outside a Chinese buffet in Slough.

Eamon Holmes licking the pavement and howling like a wolf beside a post box in Yarmouth.

Des Lynam selling crack from his car boot in Leicester.




Glebe

#315
Tom O' Connor takes ecstasy and freaks out to some bangin tunes for seven hours in a shed in Bootle.

Keanu Reeves skims a tortoise off the roof of a Honda Civic near Burbank.

Octavia Spencer shoots a walrus in the knob with a pellet gun at the foot of Mount Rushmore.

To Tallinn, now, where Christoph Waltz is using a chip pan as a racket against an imaginary opponent in a one crazy game of tennis!

Alex Brooker, is that you, convincing the owner of a Chinese restaurant in Havering to strip naked and roll around in a duck pond?

And last but not least, good old Simon Callow has allegedly been spotted scuba diving down the Mariana Trench with naught but a Fry's Chocolate Cream for company!

Bazooka

Paul O'Grady mutilates a security guard who spots him stealing beef stock cubes in a Lidl in Spalding.

Bazooka

Michael Fish loses his lamb shank only 1 minute after cooking it.

rasta-spouse

Nick Frost gets up at 7am to spread miso on a half-pipe in Enfield. He pops into a newsagents to buy a Double Decker and runs off chuckling.

Dr Sanchez

Claudia Winkleman is going door to in Rhyl asking people to pet her fringe.

Dane Bowers just won £2 on a scratch card in Slough. To celebrate he performed Macbeth in it's entirety for a nearby cockney sparrow who fell asleep before the first act ended

Glebe

"We're out of coffee, husband - here at our home in Bromley!"

"Not to worry, love - Kenneth Branagh's at the door with a jar of Kenco!"

Bazooka

Dean Gaffney is ravaged beyond repair by moths at a B&B in the lake district.

dex

Danny Wallace goes gitsurfing in Milton Keynes. The unwitting victim is his own mother.

Glebe

Kenneth Clarke plays Candy Crush on his phone in a beer garden in Worcester.

Glebe

"Just try charging me £3.99 for that 500gm box of Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes mate, and see what happens," Danny Dyer tells a shop assistant in a Tesco in Croydon, "just try." The poor till operator goes to scan the item and finds his arms being pushed down, "Nah, mate. Nah."

Ricki Lake -  remember Ricki Lake? - is a few dimes short for a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and is sent packing from a grocery store in Inglewood. "The guy who works Thursday always lets me away with it. The guy who works Thursday."

Andrew Neil purchases a packet of Chewits at a Sainsbury's fast lane in Auchtermuchty, but gets the dreaded "unexpected item in the bagging area" response and, after removing and replacing it a few times, has to call a shop assistant. "Fucking pain in the arse, pal. Fucking pain in the arse."

One of the blokes who did the Macarena song buys a discounted Black and Decker drill in a B&Q in Rimini. "Well pleased with that, mate. Well pleased with that."

Ray Travez

3am Chipping Sodbury- with no-one around, Jacob Rees-Mogg indulges his secret passion- bin-sniffing!

Dr Sanchez

Joe Pesci spotted gutting a trout under a bypass in Shrewsbury and throwing the innards into a vortex to another dimension.



Glebe

"Who remembers Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings?" enquires Gary Busey during a pub session in Magaluf.

Ian Woosnam has a fight with a cheese sandwich in Eccles.

Dennis Bergkamp tosses an unopened jar of Colman's Mustard at a dolphin in Tenerife.

Selina Scott arranges some packets of Oxo Cubes into roughly alphabetical order, using the barcodes and such as a guide. In Toulouse.

Will Ferrell tickles a coconut's balls behind a ranch in Louisiana.

And we sign off (for now!) with Su Pollard, who is in County Durham attempting to repair an XBox One with some sticky back plastic!

rasta-spouse

Megaman from So Solid Crew, through some morning mist, sees a park masturbator tucking AA batteries under his foreskin. When he gets home he throws a quail egg at his Hackney ceiling.

Tom Kerridge skimming credit cards at a Murco garage in Lewes.