Celebrities doing things in places.

[Gregory Torso]

"GOODNIGHT SAINSBURYS" roars Michael Portillo as he climbs into a freezer in Tesco.

[Dr Sanchez]

Michael Barrymore just lobbed a grenade concealed inside a  yorkshire pudding towards Paul Hollywood's cat in Merseyside.

[Bazooka]

Todd "Tucker Jenkins" Carty kills a family waterskiing on the River Orwell by stone skimming the contents of a Dairylea Lunchables at them.

[Glebe]

Robert Mueller trundles down Sunset Boulevard on a unicycle singing 'La Bamba' at the top of his little lungs!

[Glebe]

Melvyn Bragg rubbishes a corncrake near Dunstable.

Melanie Sykes searches through Swindon for a mint-condition copy of Howard the Duck #1.

James McAvoy performs the Dance of the Seven Veils at the foot of the Rocky Mountains!

And finally, back to the past, where we discover Mozart going on a pub crawl around Salzburg with his bessie mate, Rudiger the Rascal!

[rasta-spouse]

John Cooper-Clark sends back a plate of tapas telling the waiter, "it reminds me of something difficult that happened at the Arndale Centre".

[Glebe]

Martin Clunes sets off for Cromer with a suitcase full of Pot Noodles. "Watch out, Cromer, it's gonna be a wild weekend!"

Jeffrey Dean Morgan purchases a retail box of Jersey creams from a wholesaler in Craigavon.

Sarah Michelle Gellar helps Lyon win a tidy towns competition for the third year in a row now.

Jesse Eisenberg puts a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figure on a surfboard and sends it down the Potomac River from an undisclosed point along the waterway.

[MidnightShambler]

Bruce Dean has had hiccups for twenty minutes in Pasadena and is worrying they will never stop.

Russ Abott weeping at Bella Embergs grave on the moon

[Glebe]

Danny Dyer randomly picks a house in Stornoway and knocks on the door and when the homeowner answers it he shoves a Kendall Mint Cake in his face, "Go on, 'ave it."

[Dr Sanchez]

Carol Vorderman spotted hanging her massive arse out of a helicopter and shitting on a pigeon in Sunderland. Media reports are stating that it's a terrorist attack.

[Glebe]

Lewis Hamilton develops a habit of shaking the ketchup bottle three times with each pour during a stay in Pwllheli, and becomes known as 'Three Shakes' Hamilton in the region.

Cherie Blair destroys an old Macintosh computer with a modified baseball bat.

Famke Janssen irritates a beetle outside Oslo.

Georgie Fame goes hang gliding with Chris Tarrant over the White Cliffs of Dover.

"Not bad, that. Not bad." notes our old friend Danny Dyer after finishing a bowl of oxtail soup in a bistro in Kent.

Michaela Strachan goes treasure hunting in Bali with Tim Wonnacott.

[VelourSpirit]

fairuza balk is outside

[Glebe]

JK Rowling throws Daniel Radcliffe into a dumpster in Fife.

[Glebe]

Danny Dyer again, he turns up in the staff room of a Tesco in Croydon and throws a load of signed EastEnders merchandise to everyone, "Go on, 'ave that, cheers, thank you good night nice one."

[Dr Sanchez]

Tom Jones is flinging chocolate hob nobs at ghosts outside a butchers in Glasgow.

[Bazooka]

Steve McFadden runs a marathon backwards at a parents evening in Ely.

[Glebe]

Oliver Letwin has an argument about thread with a seagull in Bournemouth.

Stone Cold Steve Austin inserts a walnut into his arse and hopes for the best, Texas.

John Parrott swallows an Argos catalogue during a day trip to Crewe.

Kirstie Allsopp holds a four-hour conversation with a potted plant while passers-by look on stunned in Penrith.

[Bazooka]

Alan Sugar puts ointment on his mouth ulcer causing a traffic jam stretching back three days on the A11.

[Dr Sanchez]

Dane Bowers is in Coventry for a personal appearance at the grand opening of a nightclub called Tool Tuggers. He's getting paid in After Eights and he's already bloody ate half of  them!

[Glebe]

Kevin Bridges strips naked and stands at the edge of a road in Dumbarton screaming into the traffic.

Graham Norton selects a packet of fig rolls off a shop shelf in Cork. He goes back to his Cork mansion, prepares the tea and enjoys an evening break with Bella magazine.

Actress Maggie Cheung throws a pineapple at Jerry Lee Lewis.

Gary Larson scrawls obscene versions of his The Far Side cartoons on the walls of lavatory cubicle in Wisconsin.

[Glebe]

"SING IT! SING IT!" screams Roisin Conaty.

"If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join our Club!" sobs Greg Davies, dropping to his knees in despair. They are in Cardiff.

[Glebe]

"I know I am, I'm sure I am, I'm H-A-P-P-Y," James Bolam sings to himself during a stroll around Middlesbrough.

[petril]

Adam Buxton and Joe Cornish parody empty daytime filler in a service station. Again.

[Hey, Punk!]

Greg Davies lied about having an average sized penis, you grasp the sheets and think of CaB.

[rasta-spouse]

Whigfield cancels Joe Don Baker Night at Sheffield Hallam.

[Glebe]

Calvin and Hobbes 'enjoy' a rainy weekend in Bogner Regis.

Roger Rabbit goes on a water slide in a fun park in Marseille. It takes animators a year to make it happen.

Thanos goes into a Lunn Poly in Bradford in 1988 and books two weeks in Magaluf for himself and the wife.

Marc Almond purchases a steak and bake in a shopping mall in Seville.

[Glebe]

George Lucas, speaking to a newsagent in Hove, creates a £1 penny chew bag containing cola bottles, salad creams and more.

[Glebe]

Micky Dolenz is delighted to see that Knowsley Safari Park is open till 5PM.

Gregory Hines enjoys a Mint Imperial whilst gazing out across the Mediterranean on a beach in Torremolinos.

Ben Affleck downs a full-size bottle of Yop in one and rolls down the San Fernando Valley.

Janeane Garofalo gently pushes an aardvark against the side of a Toyota at Plymouth Rock.

[Dr Sanchez]

Noel Edmonds just stole some pick 'n' mix from a Poundland in Peckham but put them back because he thought the face of Jesus appeared on a chocolate mouse.

[Ferris]

Jesus appears on the face of a chocolate mouse in Peckham to "really put the frighteners" on a faded TV presenter.