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Celebrities doing things in places.

Started by Glebe, January 28, 2019, 02:36:46 AM

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Glebe

Jack Douglas from the Carry On films bends a giraffe's neck around a tree in Knole Park.

Rachel Dratch circumnavigates Nantucket Island in a golf cart.

Mark Radcliffe tosses several boxes of Lucky Charms off the Pennines.

Suzi Quatro discusses the finer points of the equestrian diet with a small vole in Cherbourg.

Glebe

Garth Crooks and Garth Brooks dress up as cooks and swim down a brook in [insert name of a place ending in 'ook' here].

Jamie Oliver makes a soufflé out of Curly Wurlys in Dubrovnik.

Sheena Easton does a cocktail with Angostura bitters down Clacton way.

Jamie Lee Curtis bastes a walrus in corn syrup near Pasadena.

Fishfinger

Brendon Burns, on a laptop, Googling his first name because why would he need to specify, seeing he's not even in the suggested lists of Brendons, checking he spelled it correctly, yes he did FACKIN FACK

Bazooka

J.K Rowling photocopies all of the original Harry Potter scripts onto lasagne sheets in a post office in Spalding.

Glebe

Michael Grade downs a pint of Harvey's Bristol Cream on a stretch of road in Burgundy.


Glebe

Michael Roux barbeques a marmot in a subway in San Francisco.

Jennifer Rush polishes a turnip beneath a shelf in Chessington World of Adventures.

Doug Stanhope rides an aardvark around China for three weeks solid now.

Calum Best douses Michael Barrymore in Hammerite and pushes him into a mere in the Yukon.


Glebe

Alexander Armstrong gifts Peter Andre a George Forman grill somewhere outside Toxteth.

Terrence Trent D'Arby makes use of a money-off coupon in an Aldi in Yeovil.

Jared Leto smashes a tennis racquet against a credit union for a decade beside Canada.

Diane Abbott unicycles around Burnley screaming, "REMEMBER THE CLANGERS!"


Gregory Torso

"Funnyman" Jimmy Nail washes his dog with a pressure hose in a concrete yard in Gateshead. There is an open 2 litre bottle of cider on the ground and Jimmy Nail is staring blankly into the distance as hot water blasts over his dog's head.

Gregory Torso

John Stapleton walks calmly into the BBC Headquarters, as if he belongs there. He thinks to himself "Yes! I'm in!" He strides with manufactured entitlement along the corridors and will continue like this for the whole day, a full eight hours of strutting around, pretending that he works inside the BBC HQ.

Gregory Torso

Tess Daley shows off the customised handlebars she got fitted to her back for her wedding day backstage at a Grantham bark dance.


In Crewe, during a ceasefire, Michael Aspel puts a baby in a wheelchair. He thinks it's disabled. He doesn't understand that babies have to learn to walk and talk.


Gregory Torso

Nicholas Lyndhurst finds himself cornered in FULTON FOODS by a small Italian man who hisses: "Now Rodney, it is your turn to make the face, you filthy liar boy. Make a face, Rodney. When I fall on the floor, you make a face, you complete liar bastard, you worthless plank. Don't you dare to try and run away. You are twelve years old. You have been in prison for smoking grass and I covered for you, I told everyone you had gone to Afghanistan. But I have seen your cell, it says 'Rodney is an unwanted child' on the wall, someone has carved that there, and when I fall, you will make the face. It is the least you can do for me, and for your mother, and for your horrible wife."

dr_christian_troy

Brian Blessed farts on a sad child while screaming the lyrics to Eleanor Rigby in a Co-op in Penge.

dr_christian_troy

Alec Guinness runs over a tortoise while driving his Yellow Mini through the wall of a local vet. The tortoise could have survived but Alec backs over it in reverse and it is crushed.

Alec Guinness backs the car into a recently married couple in their mid-twenties, killing them both. He smiles slightly until he starts to smell burnt hair.

David Tennant shaves his balls over the penguin tank at Longleat.

Glebe


dr_christian_troy

The porn star Mandingo returns a Dime Bar to a newsagents in Catford, complaining that the contents of the wrapper are broken. The man behind the counter offers him a replacement Dime Bar, but Mandingo asks for a refund instead. He makes use of the change by putting it towards a chicken and leek pie at the cafe next door, but is disappointed to find that the pie is cold. He asks for the manager, who tells him to fuck off.

dr_christian_troy

Paul Gascoigne is seen trying to fill himself up with petrol via his anus at a BP Garage. His car is parked at an angle in the middle of the road outside of the forecourt, full of chicken bones.

French Stewart gets way too excited about a Poang rocking chair and accompanying pouffe in the Exeter branch of Ikea.

dr_christian_troy

Angela Lansbury fists Columbo until his eye pops out

He turns around to look at her with his remaining eye and says "One more finger"

dr_christian_troy

Derek Acorah is found in a park, violently mashing scotch eggs into a park bench until his fingers bleed

Lord Mandrake

Bam Margera arguing against circumcision in Dusseldorf.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: dr_christian_troy on July 31, 2019, 04:30:10 PM
Angela Lansbury fists Columbo until his eye pops out

He turns around to look at her with his remaining eye and says "One more finger"

this is not what elvis costello had in mind.

Glebe

John Sargent angrily tosses a priceless Prefab Sprout 7" down a railway siding in Cheshire.

The Fraggles hold a cast reunion in a restaurant in Vancouver. There's a lovely moment during coffee when they all start to sing Joni Mitchell's 'Woodstock', but the evening is soured when Uncle Travelling Matt refuses to contribute to the bill.

George Ezra does a three point turn in a Honda Jazz down a cul-de-sac in Princess Risborough.

dr_christian_troy

Terry Waite hides in a crawlspace of a house he is selling in Otford. He feels safe there.

Cursus

Chubby funnyman Ricky Gervais is the catalyst for global apocalypse following an ill-judged impression on a flight back from Uzbekistan.

dr_christian_troy

Dennis Waterman finds a baby shoe in a lay-by on the M25 while looking for his phone that he threw out of the window by mistake. He thinks for a moment of himself pitching a TV series in which he plays a detective who finds clues to potential crimes in lay-bys on motorways. Then he realises that the baby shoe he found may suggest that a child is dead. He is ashamed.

Rachel Riley is overcharged for a Sweet Potato Falafel & Smashed Beets Veggie Box in a Pret a Manger in Southampton.

dr_christian_troy

Danny Dyer is waiting to go into an audition for a forthcoming biopic of Aleister Crowley called The Beast, intending to play the title role. He has bought a live pig with him, which he'll then slaughter in front of the casting director. He thinks this is a good idea.

Cursus

International pariah Ricky Gervais boards a plane at RAF Brize Norton having agreed that a heartfelt personal apology might help bring an end to the wanton destruction of human civilisation. In spite of the unimaginable horrors which his behaviour has unleashed on the world, he still has a mischievous glint in his eye.

Watching the news from one of the makeshift settlements which have grown up around what used to be London, Stephen Merchant lets out an involuntary whimper when the newsreader announces that the location chosen for the peace conference is Mongolia.