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Celebrities doing things in places.

Started by Glebe, January 28, 2019, 02:36:46 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

dex

Emma Bunton gets off her tits on spice outside Newquay's Walkabout.

dex

Michael Bolton spazzes all his money betting on a horse in Chepstow.

Glebe

Tim Vine releases a hedgehog into the wilds of Surrey.

Devonshire is the place to be if you want to witness Bruce Hornsby pissing into some bloke's orange squash.

Mark Ruffalo boings a pineapple segment off the edge of an IKEA shelf in Phuket.

Sienna Miller ransacks a B&Q in Holmfirth without s'much as a by-your-leave!

Glebe

Jeremy Irons piledrives an Action Man into a mud patch on Sark.

Brendan O' Carroll moves about Waterford like a whirling dervish.

Glebe

Lionel Messi helps a hedgehog at Fort Regent, Jersey.

Florence Pugh makes a ham sandwich atop Mount Rushmore.

Nicholas Lyndhurst berates a squirrel near Chiswick.

Charlie Dimmock pushes a Curly Wurly through the letterbox of John Humphreys' newly-purchased cottage on the Aran Islands.

Glebe

Peckham Rye is your next stop should you wish to witness the Fine Young Cannibals tending hedgerows with the use of a sock.

Christopher Nolan tosses a packet of Walker's cheese & onion flavour into a ditch in Falmouth.

W.H. Auden rams a Volkswagen Beetle into a shop window in Mayfair sometime in the '60s.

Michael Bublé is on the Isle of Man wrestling with a robot alligator.

Glebe

Rowan Atkinson pushes a sausage dog along a travelator at Luton Airport. He ain't even catching a flight.

Ronnie Barker allegedly dismantled a traffic light in Grimsby at some point in the 1980's. When quizzed about it on Wogan, Barker told Tel to "Fuck right off" in an interview that was buried by the BBC.

Maggie Gyllenhaal ransacks a Walmart in Wyoming and makes a break for it on a Segway.

Betty White sits on a bench in Palm Springs and chucks Mint Imperials at passers-by.

Glebe

Roy Castle shoves a celery stick into a postbox in Lambeth in 1984.

John McEnroe pushes a battered old shopping trolley filled with soiled onesies around Stirling for three years.

Stacey Dooley pushes Ross Kemp off an open-top bus in Brighton, "for a laugh".

Lena Dunham gets the runs after eating a gone-off taco in Pasadena.

Glebe

Donald Tusk whispers "Beanz meanz Heinz" into Angela Merkel's ear at an important ceremony in Oslo.

Neil Fitzmaurice hacks a mouse to shreds with a potato peeler in Crete.

Geri Halliwell kaboings a muskrat off the side of the Liver Building.

George R.R. Martin bobsleighs through Epping Forest.

Glebe

Fred Dibnah stays home and watches Anus Cop in his Cheadle cottage.

dex

Ross Kemp scowles at a vending machine in Birmingham New Street station as it took his coinage but didn't dispense his McCoys crisps. A full documentary will ensue.

Glebe

Drakala eats a tampon near Basingstoke.

dex

Liberty X go orienteering in the Peak District.

Glebe

"Just seen Michael Crawford, Timothy Dalton and Cardi B beating shite out of Paddy McGuinness on the Edgware Road!"  Sharleen Spiteri tells Ruby Wax, Harry Redknapp and Kanye West when she arrives at the Camden pub where she is meeting them for a quiet drink.

Glebe

Mike Patton waxes his nutmegs near Derry.

Felicity Kendall swipes a packet of Fruit Pastilles off a confectionery counter in a newsagent beside Hove.

Isabella Rossellini does a backflip on a ring road near Wiltshire.

Matthew Corbett takes Sooty, Sweep and Soo spelunking in Wookey Hole.

Glebe

Peter Andre chides a banshee in Cork.

dr_christian_troy

Christine Guntripp moonwalks into a funeral in Cheshire.

Glebe

Malcolm McLaren tosses an aubergine over a fence in Haverstock in 1981.

Gerard Depardieu gatecrashes a dinner party in Boulogne and pours the fish chowder over a bald man's head.

Courtney Cox pushes Beck into a car crusher in Detroit and begs for forgiveness.

Caitlyn Jenner is in Florida bouncing a mandarin orange off of a parking valet's head for a giggle.


Glebe

David Dickinson sings Chris de Burgh's 'A Spaceman Came Travelling' in a karaoke bar in Alicante.

Haile Selassie squidges a melted Curly Wurly onto an Action Man's face in 1973 in Corfu.

Pato Banton calls a gerbil a "faggot" in Guernsey.

Malcolm McDowell places an over-ripe banana on the counter of a Starbucks in Fife in retaliation for them getting his order wrong the previous week.

dex

Quote from: Glebe on September 07, 2019, 09:13:07 PM
David Dickinson sings Chris de Burgh's 'A Spaceman Came Travelling' in a karaoke bar in Alicante.

Lovely stuff!

Mo Farah cadges a Rothmans off a trucker at Leigh Delemere services. "No one's going to believe you, pal." Mo utters as he sparks up.

Glebe

Quote from: dex on September 08, 2019, 10:59:16 AMLovely stuff!

Thanks Dex! 'Leigh Delemere services', heh!

Roger Daltrey enjoys a bowl of Angel Delight whilst watching old repeats of Golden Balls on Challenge in his holiday caravan on the Isle of Man.

"Those lemon sponges look extremely tempting," notes Malcolm Hebden, staring vacantly into a cake shop window in Cleethorpes.

Jennifer Jason Leigh startles a cabbage with a pitchfork near Boise.

Graeme Souness disturbs a pheasant with the mere use of a phonograph near Parkhurst prison.

Bazooka

Jedward thwart the authorities for minutes, after killing a Tesco delivery man with chicken satay sticks in Dublin.

Glebe

"Hee-yah, in the wilds of Kettering, I, Sir David Attenborough, am roasting a Dimbleby Brother over a large bonfire. But which one? YOU decide!"

NJ Uncut

Seems Lauryn Hill's itinerant in Didsbury. She catcalls a desire to pitch you Lucozade. Bottle's opened. Her eyes're all Graves, Feldmanesque and dead sparrows in her pram.

No, you don't want them neither, let alone a gam.

Glebe

Ava Max goes into a chipper in Dudley and orders a batter burger, curry chips and a 330ml bottle of Fanta. She tells the bloke behind the counter that she is just popping into the Tesco Express next door, back in a minute. In the Tesco Express, she buys some scrunchies, a packet of Chewits and a small carton of milk. Then she pops back to collect her order.

NJ Uncut

You drive your Audi up to the Essar MPK Riverside service station in Ambergate only to discover Neneh Cherry at pump three, her peepers savage and she's gesticulating, frenzied, her mouth foaming, her nose streaming like Netflix.

You roll down the windows of your silver Audi and ask her to vacate the forecourt or at least the pump but she's just harried and muttering stilted claptrap about powerful triangles.

"Goodness me" , you think to yourself. "Her new lyrics need work". You roll the window back up and drive on, enjoying the smooth power of having an... No, being an, Audi driver.

Head Gardener


Glebe

Phillipa Gregory buys a tub of Nesquik in Margate.

Fishfinger

Joe Pesci treats a public telephone with respect in Pembroke whilst phoning his agent. Subsequently, he is enraged by his restaurant service and caves in two skulls with a telephonic device before making his escape by pretending to be a vacationing leprechaun, never to haunt those shores again.