What would you do if you were invisible for a day ?

[Small Man Big Horse]

I used to do a bit in my stand up set about being invisible, and the best thing I could come up with was when a marathon runner stops and does a shit by the side of the road Paula Radcliffe-style I'd pick it up and chase after them, shouting "Mama, I want to come back home".

It got a laugh, proving that people are easily pleased.

[Attila]

Run around the British Museum and have loads of fun; would make sure to follow keepers into the departments behind the scenes, as well, unless I can somehow sneak a key out of the pound to let myself into all of the offices and storage areas.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Would the effect just randomly wear off then? Might be a bit embarrassing if you were stealing some money or being a bit of a perv and then getting caught wouldn't it?

Not worth the hassle mate.

So the farting poltergeist turns visible as they're about to do a guff in Derek Ackorah's hair? Win-win.

[The Bumlord]

Probably bum someone so I could look down and see his or her anus going oOoOoO like an confused old man's mouth

[Dex Sawash]

Try to solve the mystery of the "sound of desn Gaffney's foreskin"  tag

[canadagoose]

Try to solve the mystery of the "sound of desn Gaffney's foreskin"  tag

I imagine Dean Gaffney's foreskin sounds quite... round? Not sure that really helps, mind.

[hedgehog90]

To all the proposed sneaky ones mentioned so far, I hope they involve being naked, otherwise you're just not doing it right.

[Lord Mandrake]

I'd slot Piers Morgan, naked.

[Brundle-Fly]

Do a street magic act with a mate in Covent Garden. You'd be coining it.

[greenman]

None of you lot would get away with it. Body Odour is not invisible.

Are toupee's invisible?

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Erm, probably learn a new language.

[Noddy Tomkey]

I'd text you mate.

[steve98]

Can you still get sunburnt if you're invisible?

No, the rays would pass right through you. You'd also be blind, which would make most of these suggestions ("Go round pervin' at women", "Drive about pervin' at women") impossible.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Or jack my job in and go travelling.

[ToneLa]

I'm a single, poor man on Universal Credit. What do you mean 'if'?

[Cuellar]

To all those saying 'oh if I were invisible I'd do x' - what's stopping you doing that now? Go, live your dream, become your ideal.

[ToneLa]

To all those saying 'oh if I were invisible I'd do x' - what's stopping you doing that now? Go, live your dream, become your ideal.

This sounds nice but David Lloyd's were having none of it

Am I supposed to believe I can peer at nudey ladies simply by being visible? Come off it, being visible is the kiss of death in that scenario.

[the]

Feel exactly the same as normal

[Icehaven]

Throw cats about so everyone thought cats can fly now and welcome their new feline overlords. Ditto become covered in ants so everyone thought ants can move as humans now and welcome their new etc.

[rasta-spouse]

I'd find Louis Theroux in a park and shake him really hard

[ToneLa]

Wouldn't being invisible make shaving impossible?

You'd be stuck in hell: a long hipster beard but no idea what it looks like and no way to show it off!

See also: aiming your wee. Would the wee be invisible? Men piss like it is already though, eh, ladies?