Having a break from work

[Ferris]

I'm taking 6 months of parental leave, starting today (thanks, Canada). We saved and both get cash from the government (thanks again, Canada) while we're off so we'll be ok on that front.

As of Thursday or thereabouts I'll have a baby to deal with so it's hardly a vacation but my question is: how do you keep your sanity without the daily grind? What's your routine? I haven't been unemployed for ~10 years, and I rely on my job (which I'll go back to in September) to keep some semblance of normalcy.  I'm worried that without looming-Damocles-stress and long hours and structure I'll go a bit mad. Fully nocturnal or eating 3 breakfasts a day or something.

This is day one and I've watched 3 films, baked 24 bagels, gone for a long walk in the snow, and completed a thorough cataloguing and re-org of the freezer (with diagram for future item categorization). I think I just feel guilty for not working like a lunatic for the first time in a very long time. Maybe it'll be good for me and I'll get some perspective or something. Might increase (or decrease?) the quality of my CaB posts. Maybe this is how I'm processing new baby anxiety. Maybe I'll take up running again. Please advise.

Rambling fuck it post.

[poo]

Unless you have one of those magic sleeping babies it's gonna be mental. Almost certain to involve stress and long hours so I wouldn't worry about not being busy. Enjoy.

[Cuntbeaks]

A lot of self obsessed drivel there mate. Once the baby comes you won't be able to spell the word 'bored'.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've not in my adult life had a break from work where I stay at home and get past the novelty/hedonistic phase and get round to achieving things I want to in my leisure, I guess a week isn't enough and waxing two weeks is wasteful.

I'd welcome it. Of course you're having a kid so that won't be an option for you either now, at least not until you retire. Life is a series of closing doors.

[Buelligan]

Yeah, I'd say forget the fucking bagels and bail for all you're worth, these precious 24ish hours before your baby is delivered are probably the last moments where you can do anything for yourself you will experience for many years.  Prioritise. 

And, as others have said, do not worry about having nothing to do, this will not be an issue.  Worry, if you must, about being able to step up when you're that exhausted, you just want your mum to come and sort it out.  It's going to be great, use it well!

[king_tubby]

Heh. Bored? No chance.

Tired, run down, grumpy, knackered...

Good luck!

[ersatz99]

I found it got easier after the first 23 years. Ask yer parents.

[Small Man Big Horse]

This is why weed has been legalised I'm sure. Once stoned you can sit down and watch a whole bunch of shows which technically aren't that great but hell, when caned seem perfectly fine. Since I gave up the demon weed I watch about a tenth of what I used to, which is why I look forward to taking it up again upon my retirement.

And while the above may be right about the kid taking up all your time it depends on the child's nature. Most of my friends were exhausted all of the time but two had docile stupid children who just slept a lot and found it a breeze so hopefully you'll have one of the latter.

[Buelligan]

Perhaps if we brought the weed and the babies together, that might work?  My lovely mum spent a fair few formative years in Jamaica and she told me it was considered perfectly normal by many to medicine loud babies with a lick of rum.  I'm just throwing it out there.

[Pingers]

You'll be Radio Rental within a fortnight of the bairn arriving pal, just enjoy the next week or so. Stockpile laundry liquid.

[Gregory Torso]

Enjoy hallucinating from lack of sleep and fighting the urge to leg it into the woods, but also enjoy the terrifying and vulnerable waves of love and connection that you will (hopefully) feel for this weird little thing that has now become the focus of your entire life. Watching your own child grow and develop a personality is an incredible thing. Love is an incredible thing. Shut off the rest of the world for a while and enjoy the closeness of your family. That's my soppy old advice anyway.

[Chollis]

What did you have on the bagels?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Shut off the rest of the world for a while and enjoy the closeness of your family.

[QDRPHNC]

Have you bought a good quality digital thermometer yet? For god's sake, buy a good quality digital thermometer.

Unless you have one of those magic sleeping babies it's gonna be mental. Almost certain to involve stress and long hours so I wouldn't worry about not being busy. Enjoy.

I think I got one of those. For the two weeks paternal leave I had, he did nothing but sleep, wake up to eat, and go back to sleep again. The salad days.

A few months later I'm waking up every night at midnight to drive him to sleep in the car, dropping him home at 6am and going straight to work. At some point it sinks in that you will never, ever, "catch up" on sleep ever again.

[Gregory Torso]

I don't get it.

[pancreas]

I don't get it.

I think he's saying you should be arguing for the dissolution of the family and repudiation of the right to property, you right-wing scum.

[Beagle 2]

Haha "without the daily grind"

Ahahahahaha

[Gregory Torso]

I think he's saying you should be arguing for the dissolution of the family and repudiation of the right to property, you right-wing scum.

Ooh I can't wait to find out!!!

[kngen]

Maybe it'll be good for me and I'll get some perspective or something.

Time will become such an elastic concept - weeks flashing by in minutes, but hours grinding by like months in jail - that perspective is the one thing that goes completely out of the window, other than the realisation that, aside from the health, well-being and happiness of your family, nothing remotely fucking matters in your life.

It's a pretty bracing epiphany. But it's a good one.

[Ferris]

Ok fine, but if I start going mad from lack of things to do then I will come back here and be very cross about it.

I'm going to do more baking and watch The Godfather Part III. I have a load of rye flour to use up.

We can close this thread now, thanks!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A break from work is what I did, having a month off and going to Prague. Doing fuck all except everything I wanted to do and fuck all anyone else wanted to do.

What you are doing is having a baby. Best of luck surrendering your entire existence for someone else xx

[QDRPHNC]

surrendering your entire existence

Strange way of putting it.

[Gregory Torso]

Edit: Actually, no - not doing this. Enjoy fatherhood, Ferris.


(I bet you do read the Daily Mail, though)

[Ferris]

Edit: Actually, no - not doing this. Enjoy fatherhood, Ferris.


(I bet you do read the Daily Mail, though)

Only the FeMail online section. Thanks all, we can close this thread off now.

(And when I go out my gourd with the lack of structure, I'll be back on her blaming everyone except myself)

[Pingers]

Strange way of putting it.

A bit OTT, yes. Despite being woken constantly at mad hours, attending to the balance of hot/cold & light/dark, the relentless cycle of inputting sustenance and disposing of bodily waste, and holding down a full time job to boot, I somehow always found time for wanking.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Perhaps if we brought the weed and the babies together, that might work?  My lovely mum spent a fair few formative years in Jamaica and she told me it was considered perfectly normal by many to medicine loud babies with a lick of rum.  I'm just throwing it out there.

I think Buelligan's on to something here, plus with a joint it's mouth your baby will look cool, and other babies will fancy it, which could lead to marriage and not having to take care of it at all.

[Ferris]

Tbh the baby is a side-issue. I'm sure I'll be busy with all that and didn't want to make it the main focus of the thread.

I'm more worried about going bonkers due to lack of structure and sense of purpose. Maybe that won't be an issue if I'm all buzzed up on cannabis.

[Buelligan]

You could buy yourself one of those electric shock dog collars.  Any time you feel bored simply switch it on with the command unit and run outside, locking yourself out but leaving the unit within and on ON. 

This will fill you with all the sense of purpose and urgency you will ever want and it's completely reusable.  You can do it as often as you like without any danger of it ever becoming boring.

[pancreas]

Or you could chase him round the house with one of your many terrorism hammers, like in The Shining.

[holyzombiejesus]

Buy the Lovejoy boxset. Honestly.

My wife was quite poorly after the birth so needed as much rest as possible. So, when the boy cried in the night, I'd bring him downstairs and hold him whilst I worked my way through 71 episodes of the antique rogue show. One of the happiest times of my life. He must have heard that theme tune more than any other piece of music in his first few weeks on earth, the lucky fuck.

You'll find your own routine though. Spare time will now cease to exist but you won't mind.