Author Topic: Report people buying hammers.  (Read 2381 times)


Blumf

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2019, 09:05:57 AM »
These guys have over 60% ownership of West Ham United, and they do look dodgy, should we report them?


Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2019, 09:07:13 AM »
These guys have over 60% ownership of West Ham United, and they do look dodgy, should we report them?



You do what you think is right.

im barry bethel

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2019, 09:11:41 AM »
Always had my suspicions


Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2019, 09:21:34 AM »
The only way to beat a bad guy with a hammer is a good guy with a hammer. All the most notorious hammer attacks had hammerless victims. I actually advocate owning several hammers and raising your family to handle them safely and responsibly, so they can hammer to their hearts content. Imagine you're out of town on a business trip and a strange man follows your wife home, make sure she's prepared to dole out a good hammering, hammer his lights out.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2019, 09:26:59 AM »
As the saying goes its better to have a hammer than an Orville.

Blumf

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2019, 09:32:59 AM »
In the wrong hands, deadly!


Buelligan

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2019, 09:33:13 AM »
[tag]Pete Seeger considers a cordless nail gun[/tag]

pigamus

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2019, 09:42:47 AM »
[tag] Sonia Sutcliffe given brisk lecture on bolted horses and stable doors [/tag]

Buelligan

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2019, 09:51:09 AM »
[tag]Pete Seeger considers a cordless nail gun[/tag]

Have to just share this although it's nothing to do with this thread.  As is my wont when I start thinking about a thing, in this case Pete Seeger, I often google it and read whatever's there. 

So I googled Pete Seeger and when you google something, as we all know, Google helpfully produces a little list of questions it thinks might be related to your search.  On the Pete Seeger search, one of these questions is

Quote
Is Pete Seeger and Bob Seger related?

This made me laugh for a brief second, thought I'd share the joy.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2019, 10:05:09 AM by Buelligan »

biggytitbo

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2019, 10:10:00 AM »
State of this.

https://twitter.com/TerrorismPolice/status/1089908708908314625?s=19


I note that advert studiously avoids identifying the ethnicity of the suspect, but I'm sure that's what they're getting at.

Funcrusher

  • Been shot up more times than Tom Mix
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2019, 10:20:50 AM »
If there is an uptick in reports to police of hammer buying, it would indeed be interesting to see what the percentages of hammer buyers reported are by ethnicity.

Paul Calf

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2019, 10:23:51 AM »
Good bit of civil disobedience: get a flashmob in Homebase on a Saturday morning reporting everyone they see buying a hammer.

buttgammon

  • You can't trust a man what's made of gas
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #13 on: January 30, 2019, 10:34:09 AM »
Cue some sad bastard hanging around the hammer section in B&Q, poised to phone 999 in case any 'brown people' walk past.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2019, 10:50:39 AM »
You're all laughing now, but you'll all be wishing you'd stocked up on hammers come post Brexit Britlands.

Me. I'm loaded with hammers:

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • it made more sense in my head i don't know
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #15 on: January 30, 2019, 11:06:17 AM »
Stop



HAMMER CRIME

Flouncer

  • See ya on the other side, ya goddamn cracker ass!
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #16 on: January 30, 2019, 11:06:34 AM »
Me. I'm loaded with hammers:

I've got two hammers and a rubber mallet - that's the hammer equivalent of the stun setting on a phaser.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #17 on: January 30, 2019, 11:10:26 AM »

Buelligan

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #18 on: January 30, 2019, 11:15:24 AM »
I have a massive lump hammer, huge axe (melee, high damage, low speed) and a couple of claw hammers and smaller axes (ranged, moderate damage, high speed).  Would I be reported for trading up to a crossbow I wonder?

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #19 on: January 30, 2019, 11:20:13 AM »
Look, we need all the weapons we can get for fighting off the Dogs after Brexit.

Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #20 on: January 30, 2019, 11:22:33 AM »
Can you fight a dog with a hammer? I'd go for a rake.

Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #21 on: January 30, 2019, 11:23:17 AM »
One of the Tom and Jerry ones that is, not one with the bouncy tines.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #22 on: January 30, 2019, 11:34:56 AM »
Can you fight a dog with a hammer? I'd go for a rake.

Also good for fending off well endowed next door neighbours.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #23 on: January 30, 2019, 11:49:57 AM »
I have one of those plastic-faced mallets which I originally bought for some gentle work-related metal-bending task, & thereafter kept at my desk. here, when we migrated off desktop macs & onto PCs, I would threaten the computer with it whenever (for instance) outlook was being a bit crap. on really bad days, I would actually pound on the glass of my CRT with it, so that the monitor rang like a bell, while around me the folks in the office cowered, not knowing (as I did) that it's actually very difficult to break the glass of a CRT from the front. it was enormously satisfying, as hammering any hard object can be. but I'd never fetch one to a living thing.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • it made more sense in my head i don't know
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #24 on: January 30, 2019, 11:59:52 AM »
Have you ever tried coshing in a CRT screen? The implosion caused by the vacuum is very satisfying. I done a telly that I found in the woods with a brick once.

Blumf

  • Not long now
    • IGNORE ME!!!
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #25 on: January 30, 2019, 12:04:21 PM »
Top Tip!
Terrorists, with all the police attention directed to the hammer aisle, now's your chance to wonder over to the lumber section and get yourself some lengths of 2x4.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #26 on: January 30, 2019, 12:12:22 PM »
Have you ever tried coshing in a CRT screen? The implosion caused by the vacuum is very satisfying. I done a telly that I found in the woods with a brick once.

in the course of my professional life, I have seen several monitors dropped onto concrete face-first & work perfectly afterwards.

indeed, for the comedy-dramatic purposes of a scene in one programme where a window-cleaner is caught attempting to steal a portable telly from an upstairs window & drops the thing onto the path below, I had to 'make safe' several prop tellies to be destroyed in the various takes, & also rig them so that something reasonably spectacular happened when they hit the ground.

smacking the fronts as hard as I could achieved nothing- I had to break the 'onion-tip' at the back of the tube, where the electron gun lives, & where they are sealed after evacuation, letting air into them so that they would smash safely. even then, being dropped from twenty feet just made a nice glassy clang, while shards of plastic & random bits of circuitry flew around.

(* beatles fans- 'glass onion' is a television CRT)

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • it made more sense in my head i don't know
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #27 on: January 30, 2019, 12:23:04 PM »
Well, that beats my telly in the woods story.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #28 on: January 30, 2019, 12:35:13 PM »

I note that advert studiously avoids identifying the ethnicity of the suspect, but I'm sure that's what they're getting at.

What makes you so sure? Your own prejudice or...?

Replies From View

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #29 on: January 30, 2019, 12:39:34 PM »