Author Topic: Report people buying hammers.  (Read 2813 times)

thenoise

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Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #60 on: February 01, 2019, 06:31:34 PM »
Have you ever tried coshing in a CRT screen? The implosion caused by the vacuum is very satisfying. I done a telly that I found in the woods with a brick once.


Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #61 on: February 01, 2019, 08:42:36 PM »
Fanatics planning a hammers attack will see this ad, and will be all to aware that the games changed and that Homebase shoppers will have their eyes on him as he fills up his basket. So he'll launch his attack right there and then, in Homebase, before anyone can report their suspicions.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #62 on: February 02, 2019, 08:19:45 AM »
In the wrong hands, deadly!



What's this one used for? Genuine question.

a duncandisorderly

  • the rough and tumble of the internet
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #63 on: February 02, 2019, 08:47:33 AM »
I've always found those 'See it, Say it, Sorted.' train announcements, which seem to be regionslised, really sinister.

" 'see it, say it, sorted.' that'll do them."

"sounds perfect to me. shall I bosh another line out before we go to the pub then?"

"why not? it's five o'clock somewhere."

Paul Calf

  • LOTION MAN
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  • Just put 'nice plums'.
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #64 on: February 02, 2019, 08:49:54 AM »
What's this one used for? Genuine question.

Jewellery-making.

a duncandisorderly

  • the rough and tumble of the internet
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #65 on: February 02, 2019, 08:58:32 AM »

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #66 on: February 02, 2019, 11:55:55 AM »
In news that should shock no-one, if you cover your face for those facial recognition cameras being trialled, you know, the ones that the met claim you can opt out of being scanned from without being deemed suspicious, you'll get lifted.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/facial-recognition-cameras-technology-london-trial-met-police-face-cover-man-fined-a8756936.html?utm_source=reddit.com

Blumf

  • Not long now
    • IGNORE ME!!!
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #67 on: February 02, 2019, 12:58:10 PM »

ToneLa

  • Kill your masters
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #68 on: February 02, 2019, 01:00:14 PM »
I wonder what kind of disturbing, yet vaguely erotic murder spree you'd need to commit to get The Man noting down everyone who buys big purple dildos.

Not saying I aspire to become The Purple Dildo Killer, I'm sure in my case it would simply because I simply had a big purple dildo to hand and not, per se, a specific premeditated calling card. Besides, I only bludgeon in crimes of passion, dildo or no dildo.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #69 on: February 02, 2019, 01:01:54 PM »
Hamma sandwich?

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #70 on: February 02, 2019, 03:16:00 PM »
Panic over lads. Turns out they didn't mean report people buying hammers.. they meant report people buying into Hamas.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #71 on: February 02, 2019, 03:22:44 PM »
In news that should shock no-one, if you cover your face for those facial recognition cameras being trialled, you know, the ones that the met claim you can opt out of being scanned from without being deemed suspicious, you'll get lifted.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/facial-recognition-cameras-technology-london-trial-met-police-face-cover-man-fined-a8756936.html?utm_source=reddit.com


Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #72 on: February 03, 2019, 06:50:02 PM »

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #73 on: February 03, 2019, 08:24:27 PM »
In news that should shock no-one, if you cover your face for those facial recognition cameras being trialled, you know, the ones that the met claim you can opt out of being scanned from without being deemed suspicious, you'll get lifted.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/facial-recognition-cameras-technology-london-trial-met-police-face-cover-man-fined-a8756936.html?utm_source=reddit.com

The odd thing is that violent crime seems to keep increasing.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #74 on: February 04, 2019, 07:55:45 AM »
The odd thing is that violent crime seems to keep increasing.

I thought that overall in the UK at least, it was on a downward trend, adjusted by population increase over time and barring short term increases in stabbery.

Anyway this hammer video's been taken down from that link and I can't laugh at it.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #75 on: April 12, 2019, 10:29:45 PM »


If buying them becomes problematic, make your own.

Thats a double handed off cut mahogany number with lead facing wrapped in a polyurethane and foam creation.
Fat cat included for scale.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #76 on: April 12, 2019, 10:31:41 PM »
It weighs a lot more than the cat.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #77 on: April 12, 2019, 10:35:51 PM »
Send a text if you can get the number off the cats collar.

I ought to speak to him about staying safe online.

Phoenix Lazarus

  • Why bother writing stuff below your avatar?
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #78 on: April 12, 2019, 10:40:09 PM »
MC Hammer compiles list of folks he's sold things to.