Author Topic: Report people buying hammers.  (Read 2879 times)

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #30 on: January 30, 2019, 01:21:16 PM »
Apart from anything else, it makes them smell of paedophiles.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #31 on: January 30, 2019, 02:35:58 PM »
Can someone who isn't A FUCKING GRASS drop me a PM about some personal business that needs attending to?

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #32 on: January 30, 2019, 03:09:29 PM »
"Fetch the hammer, daddy".

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #33 on: January 30, 2019, 05:24:51 PM »

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #34 on: January 30, 2019, 05:33:51 PM »
Bleugh

FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • ...and I really do mean that.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #35 on: January 30, 2019, 05:43:03 PM »
State of this.

https://twitter.com/TerrorismPolice/status/1089908708908314625?s=19

When it did the “think again!” big reveal wind back, I actually don’t know what was suspicious. Was it using a basket to carry a single hammer around? Or wearing a hat? Or spending too long in the hammer aisle? Or is it just dog whistle racism, masquerading as a public safety vid?

I own a hat and several hammers in a tool-box; should I hand myself in?

FerriswheelBueller

  • Golden Todger or
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • ...and I really do mean that.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #36 on: January 30, 2019, 05:48:10 PM »
You're all laughing now, but you'll all be wishing you'd stocked up on hammers come post Brexit Britlands.

Me. I'm loaded with hammers:


REPORTED.

Howj Begg

  • Member
  • **
  • They raised a beetroot in the air...
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #37 on: January 30, 2019, 06:59:25 PM »
edit: balls

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #38 on: January 30, 2019, 07:10:18 PM »
Ball hammer?

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #39 on: January 30, 2019, 09:00:52 PM »
Ball-peen.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #40 on: January 30, 2019, 09:02:52 PM »
Ball to their friends.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #41 on: January 30, 2019, 10:16:34 PM »
I'll apply this vigilance here in China. As you probably saw on the news a few weeks back there was a chap who attacked a bunch of kids in a kindergarten with a hammer, if only 1.4 billion had watched this video then it could have been prevented, oh wait he worked in the kindergarten as the maintenance bloke.

The kindergarten I work at in Beijing is close to the one it happened at, so if we go to the park with the kids now(its next to the school) we have to go with three teachers instead of two, the third teachers role is to be pushed at the assailant to act as a hammer(insert you own weapon/spirit level) sponge.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #42 on: January 30, 2019, 11:10:54 PM »
"Reporting it won't ruin lives."

That line made me wonder for a moment if this were satire.  But I guess it's just determinedly wrong.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #43 on: January 30, 2019, 11:24:28 PM »
"Reporting it won't ruin lives."

That line made me wonder for a moment if this were satire.  But I guess it's just determinedly wrong.

I've always found those 'See it, Say it, Sorted.' train announcements, which seem to be regionslised, really sinister.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #44 on: January 30, 2019, 11:26:50 PM »
Yeh, its "Hey you fat slouch, want to do something productive for society - go dob in a darky and we'll let you get back to eating your megapack of crisps"

shiftwork2

  • Member
  • **
  • pies this is your time
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #45 on: January 30, 2019, 11:36:49 PM »
So it's more than one hammer in the basket and you've got Plod.  This would have been better communicated to hardware shops seeing as they fucking sell the things.  Why on earth do we need to know?

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #46 on: January 30, 2019, 11:40:35 PM »
Indeed, British transport police ask you to report things that are 'not right', yet when you try and report someone for yamming a Burger King out their handbag on a packed pacer train in the height of summer they treat you like you're the cunt.


Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #47 on: January 30, 2019, 11:43:04 PM »
There are records of people using these as deadly weapons going way back through history, famously referenced in the Conan Doyle novel 'Holmes Under The Hammer'.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #48 on: January 31, 2019, 01:06:37 AM »
Jesuschrist, imagine if they were Romans.

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #49 on: January 31, 2019, 08:01:08 AM »
I always thought a 3pin plug would be a great mace, you've got range, speed, and a fucking heavy lump on the end, especially the sort you get on the end of an IEC/Kettle lead.

Almost got the chance to try it out on someone who broke in to my house years ago, was the first thing that came to hand as my living room window got smashed at 4 in the morning. Sadly it turned out to be my pissed up neighbour, so I wasn't allowed to whip him into a pulp

Paul Calf

  • LOTION MAN
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • When the water gets on them the ninnies get rigid
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #50 on: January 31, 2019, 08:11:12 AM »
I've always found those 'See it, Say it, Sorted.' train announcements, which seem to be regionslised, really sinister.

Seed it, sayed it, Guantanamo Bayed it.

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #51 on: January 31, 2019, 09:08:25 AM »
Surely all this will just result in an expansion of the buying of unsafe hammers on the black market.

No one wants that do they?

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #52 on: January 31, 2019, 09:37:39 AM »
This is going to hit the croquet scene hard.

Flouncer

  • See ya on the other side, ya goddamn cracker ass!
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #53 on: January 31, 2019, 09:41:59 AM »
Really, it's a disgrace that the Terrorism Police are powerless to tackle the scourge of people who already own hammers. Their hands are being tied by lefties and do-gooders - the government should take decisive action and extend their powers so that they can confiscate these rogue hammers and indefinitely detain the owners.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #54 on: January 31, 2019, 10:11:40 AM »
"Reporting it won't ruin lives."

That line made me wonder for a moment if this were satire.  But I guess it's just determinedly wrong.

That incredible, enraging line is the thing that struck me too.

One thing I like about Britain is we can laugh at this kind of thing; one thing I loathe about Britain is all we do is laugh about this kind of thing. Unfortunately it's not knock off Nigel or would you download a bear, it's propaganda from the state security apparatus indoctrinating people into spying on and denouncing fellow citizens as enemies of the state.

They aren't joking any more than the Stasi were1, and it's crazy that's all anyone seems to be doing in response.

(I'm not having a go at people here, BTW - and carry on - I mean instead of just being another hilarious 15 minute hashfest, this surely deserves loud questions about how completely far gone these maniacs are and/or serious protests about it. Instead, nobody seems to give a fuck.)


1. A spurious comparison, given how far we've surpassed such ancient, laughably primitive surveillance states, but we're so fucking brainwashed we actually still think because we have passports and consumer goods we're nothing like as bad.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #55 on: January 31, 2019, 02:19:45 PM »
Fair enough, hammers are clearly deadly but what about rolling pins? I gave myself an exploratory tap with one the other week and it knacked a bit.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #56 on: January 31, 2019, 02:39:59 PM »
Fair enough, hammers are clearly deadly but what about rolling pins? I gave myself an exploratory tap with one the other week and it knacked a bit.

So does a rolled up newspaper folded in half.

Blumf

  • Not long now
    • IGNORE ME!!!
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #57 on: January 31, 2019, 03:04:32 PM »
Guy makes improvised weapons only using stuff found at airport shops, after the security check:

http://www.terminalcornucopia.com/

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #58 on: January 31, 2019, 03:18:05 PM »
That incredible, enraging line is the thing that struck me too.

One thing I like about Britain is we can laugh at this kind of thing; one thing I loathe about Britain is all we do is laugh about this kind of thing. Unfortunately it's not knock off Nigel or would you download a bear, it's propaganda from the state security apparatus indoctrinating people into spying on and denouncing fellow citizens as enemies of the state.

They aren't joking any more than the Stasi were1, and it's crazy that's all anyone seems to be doing in response.

(I'm not having a go at people here, BTW - and carry on - I mean instead of just being another hilarious 15 minute hashfest, this surely deserves loud questions about how completely far gone these maniacs are and/or serious protests about it. Instead, nobody seems to give a fuck.)


1. A spurious comparison, given how far we've surpassed such ancient, laughably primitive surveillance states, but we're so fucking brainwashed we actually still think because we have passports and consumer goods we're nothing like as bad.

Well said. This stuff needs to be vociferously opposed without fear or shame.

Re: Report people buying hammers.
« Reply #59 on: January 31, 2019, 03:21:34 PM »
1. A spurious comparison, given how far we've surpassed such ancient, laughably primitive surveillance states, but we're so fucking brainwashed we actually still think because we have passports and consumer goods we're nothing like as bad.[/sup]

There seems to be this idea that because we use indiscriminate machines as collection agents, rather than a human who lives down the road it's open to less corruption, rather than the idea now the collection is much vaster and the corruption and inference happens after the data has been collected. It's worse.